If you receive a white chocolate bunny that looks at all like the one in this photo, think twice before you nibble nice because that probably isn’t jelly beans inside, it’s a creepy cottontail demon coming to get you.
Who is it? And what is its plan? An SOS community alert.
According to sources on this website, if your chocolate bunny resembles this one, forget nibbling on ears and feet to make it last – your only defence is a good sledge hammer, because inside it is something far more sinister than jellybeans. There’s this ancient evil Easter Bunny spirit, coming to take you away.
Don’t end up like the poor kid in this historic photo. Prepare to pulverize your white chocolate bunny before this confectionized creeper pops out to kidnap you.
Take it from survivors below.
“His weakness: Sledge Hammers. A blow to the arms, say “Unhand that child!” advises ?wolf. “Straight to the head with the hammer.”
Reports around the globe are trickling in from white chocolate bunny recipients who were unaware of the danger, and began nibbling, only to find themselves in a fight for their lives when this masked menace materialized from within the hollow interior.
So if you or somebody you love received a white chocolate rabbit, please don’t take any chances. No nibbling the ears and feet and saving the rest for later. Take ?wolf’s advice and SMASH with a sledgehammer. Then and only then can you be sure this tiny trojan rabbit doesn’t appear.
Remember smashed chocolate tastes just as good as un-smashed chocolate – and a whole lot better than changeling slavery in a ghostly or faerie dimension or even 365 days in the underworld which is undoubtably where you will end up if you don’t smash before your gnash.
Meanwhile, I am combing the candy sales with a hammer today on the lookout for white chocolate rabbits. More later.
