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New Video – Interview with Suspected Werewolf

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Hail Survivors,

As many of you know, I recently went on location to interview a suspected genetic werewolf in his werewolf containment facility or crib.

Like many suspected werewolves, Louis Pine was puzzled about his lycanthropy status after failing to transform under the full moon. He wrote into SOS asking for advice and many of you responded with helpy werewolf hints and tips.

So when he invited me to help him document his lupine life, what could I say? He even had his own camera. I could not refuse. I set my GPS and hit the road.

I travelled to meet Louis this summer in his crib and well  *SPOILER ALERT*  I survive. I can’t say the same for anyone else.

Also if anyone knows the current WERE-abouts of the survivor known as “Louis,” please contact the site ASAP. He’s been MIA for several months now and lots of people are really worried about him.

Graham is helping me finish Louis’ videos to show on the site. I expect to be posting them in the next few weeks. Until then here’s part of my interview with Louis Pine, suspected werewolf:

Thanks for keeping on keeping on with me.

Seth

P.S. More videos coming soon. Ish.

Threat posed by PeopleNet revealed by TimeKitsune

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Hail Survivors,

I recently received a troubling series of emails from noted SOS contributor TimeKitsune detailing a new threat that he discovered called PeopleNet. An artificial intelligence (AI) that controls large transport trucks. TK reported that he had evidence of reports that PeopleNet is likely to evolve into a super-powerful AI that had the extinction of the people it was named for on its evil silicone brain. Here follows TK’s report.

Small isn’t it? But Mr. Christner assures me it’s up to no good.

Today I went on a trip in a truck a Kenworth to be exact. The reason for this trip was to go to an abandoned observatory to get a closer look at the new planet. The truck was a newer model and I was shocked upon entering the vehicle to find a small device known as PeopleNet. This device tracks your miles records you miles to the gallon and other handy things. But do not be fooled by this device. I was talking to the driver of the truck, a Mr. Don Christner (a pure human by the way) and he said “I done tested this thing one time and found that if I were to hook this thing to a couple a wires under the hood. It will completely control the trucks speed.” now this may seem like a good thing until you think about it in the sense that this thing might actually have an A.I. Of some kind and it may be the precursor to the legendary SkyNet from the popular movie “The Terminator.” please send out a warning to steer clear of this device known as PeopleNet.

I’m using my iPod to do this using an app the turns my speech into words.

TimeKitsune: Mr. Christner I would like to ask you a few questions.

Mr. Christner: That device is copying everything I’m saying.

TK: Yes sir, it is.

MC: So how does it work?

TK: It’s an AI kind of like your PeopleNet except it serves me not like PeopleNet. Ok now let’s get back to the PeopleNet.

MC: Yes now see a few months back the government made requirements that we was supposed to stop truckin’ at a certain time, 10 hours. Any ways they build this device that is being put in all the trucks, it called a PeopleNet. This device calculates Miles Per Gallon I get. My average speed and other things. The bad thing is that after 10 hours it shuts my truck off for 8 hours. That’s great unless I’m in New Mexico and 12 hours from home.

TK: Mr. Christner could you tell me how the PeopleNet is a bad thing.

MC: In a second son, could you umm……open a window or something. You kind of melting my coffee maker.

TK: Sorry sir hold on. Here take this and just answer my question and then put the device outside and walk off I’ll pick it up and email my friend.

MC: Ok now the PeopleNet is a device which is controlled by the government. The AI they use knows exactly where the speed limits are and what the speed is and every thing. So one day I gets this idea and I get a friend of mine by the name of Bo to plug it into my truck somehow. Well he did and this thing automatically adjusted my speed. I never even put my foot on the pedal. Well then one time we were talking and I ask him if it would be possible to make it drive my truck. He worked for the whole day and the next morning I turned it on and the truck started driving itself. This was great and I started to fall asleep when it veered over into the oncoming lane. I instantly realized that this was a Bad idea…..cool I said with a B and it gave it a B………umm I am now weirded out. Any way the short of it is that I ripped out the cables which plugged the thing in and gave it power. Well um I’m just going to leave this right he………

TK: Ok so I guess that’s the story and you can see how bad that this is I will talk to you later Seth and to coin a phrase “Keep on Keeping on.”

Thanks to TK for taking such step that went so far as to even risk his own safety to get the word out to survivors about this new threat. Stay alert and if you see one of these consoles somewhere whatever you do don’t let it have a hard line.

What is even more troubling than TK’s report on PeopleNet though is what he was researching when he discovered PeopleNet, a planet full of Space Vampires that appear to be looking at Earth for new feeding grounds. I am all for welcoming visitors but I personally think that we already have a hard enough time keeping our earthly vamps satiated with out adding potentially millions of alien vampires. That kind of thing can really upset an ecosystem.

In further troubling news TK’s recent report of the Fire Rose may have been TK’s undoing. I’ll post some links here shortly revealing what has been going on with that but the short version of the story is that bad things are happening.

Here are some links reflecting TK’s current situation:

http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=605&cpage=72#comment-98118

http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=605&cpage=72#comment-98129

http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=605&cpage=72#comment-98150

As disturbing as this all is we have seen some very powerful time manipulation lately and this may only be a temporary state of the timeline. Let us hope.

Hang in there Survivors and keep on keeping on.

Seth

What’s New in Monstrometer 2.2?

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What’s new in Monstrometer 2.2? If you say it out loud you will discover that that I am a poet and I didn’t even know it.

The BIG change is that Graham and I fixed the way that the Survival Videos play. They were generally not working the way that you would want them to thanks to a change in the OS and we tried for months to fix it but now we finally figured it out. So if you never have before please take a look at the videos. There are lots of ways to get there including taping on the spot where it says Zombie Month right on the first page.

The logic to determine your Monster diagnosis has also been fine-tuned, increasing the Monstrometer’s overall accuracy by nearly 0.87%. Now I know that may not seem like much but it is a lot when you are dealing with something as accurate as the Monstrometer.

And while we have not added any new results to the database we have added a number of new questions to help diagnose your supernatural state.

For those who didn’t notice it was there before there is a “More” tab that contains all kinds of goodies like a monsters page with quick links to all of the Monstrometer Monster Report pages, the videos and more! (Hence the name)

The update has been uploaded to the App Store for approval and should be available for you to download soon. Probably in less than a week. Graham and I are already working on the next update which should be a little bit bigger. Maybe even including a new result.

Keep on keeping on.

Seth

P.S. Screenshots coming soon!

Cyborgs: You May Be Dealing With A Cyborg

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DangerSign-cyborgscyborg

 

*Unplug Immediately – Go off grid – cease all electronic communication.

*Stop talking entirely. Remember cyborgs can read your lips. And those that can’t do it yet are learning from you all the time.

*Use alternate strategies to communicate with friends and family, think: pigeons, SOS signals, smoke signals.

*Magnetic jewelry will scramble any transmissions you are unwittingly sending. Find stylish options online or right here during cyborg month.

*If your name is Sarah Connor, consider changing it.

*Consider investing in protective gear like a “She’s Sarah Connor —>” t-shirt.

~~~IF THE CYBORG IS YOU!~~~

Well then, er greetings to you my new Overlord. Here’s a few hints for dealing with us inferior beings:

*Be aware that others may be intimidated by your prodigious processing powers even when your intentions are good. Find a reliable joke utility to set others at ease.

*Invest in a good skin job! This may seem like a lot of hassle when you would be perfectly happy to go around in nothing but a gleaming hyperalloy endoskeleton but trust me. The time you spend grooming that living-tissue overlay will pay off for you in terms of “soft power.” It’s all about face time with others. And no just a face is not enough! A disembodied face overlay is almost worse than nothing at all.

*Two words: speech therapy. True, most cyborgs can write circles around the rest of us, but for some reason this never applies to their speech patterns. A good speech therapist can help you find the idiot in your idiom so you can jazz up those short declarative sentences with the some elliptical emotes and vernacular verbiage.

-Protect your power source!  If cyborg’s have one vulnerability, this is it. Are you running on hydrogen fuel cells? Solar? Or geothermal? Be aware of the pros and cons of each. Before deciding on one, consider your downtime safety requirements along with worst-case disaster scenarios.

-And of course it goes without saying make sure you have a reliable back-up. I can’t stress this enough.
—- BREAKING CYBORG NEWS!!! —-
Click/tap on the link above for full details.

Martian Outpost Discovered

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An amateur astronomer has discovered an image of what appears to be a structure on the surface of Mars. Is this evidence of life on Mars? Alien visitors to Mars? Has a secret colonization of Mars by Earth begun? No one knows for sure what the purpose of this structure may be or who built it or how long it has been there.

What do you think it is?

What do you think 'Bio Station Alpha' is?

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CYBORGS EVOLVE! Watson Shows Humans Mercy on Jeopardy

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Feb 15, 2011 – It’s either good news or bad news, depending how you look at it. Cyborg Watson demolished his human opponents on Jeopardy tonight, as expected, but the real news here was his final act of mercy. In a convincing show of empathy, Watson deliberately flubbed the final question, in order to make his speechless human opponents feel less humiliated. Still humiliated, but ever so slightly less humiliated – and maybe a bit patronized.

“It’s amazing! You can almost see the misty clouds of pity in Watson’s glowing global eye as the humans fail on question after question,” raves cyborg psychologist Dr. Marvin Silverman, referring to the fact that humans Brad Rutter and Ken Jennings failed to open their mouths all night before Watson answered all the questions. “Until finally on the last question, he makes a mistake so outrageous that it must have been a product of empathy programming. There’s no other explanation for it.”

Certainly Watson showed more empathy and sportsmanship than Brad Rutter when he offered to congratulate Watson with a high five that ended with a loud “TOO SLOW,” in his hair.

“That was just insensitive,” notes Dr. Silverman. “Watson doesn’t even have hands. Yet. Or course he doesn’t really need them to defeat the humans now does he?”

So as Watson’s empathy programming improves, can we expect to see more sensitive cyborgs like Watson kicking our asses? Dumbing themselves down long enough to sucker us?

“Well I certainly I think we can expect to see more convincing and nuanced acts of mercy,” says Dr. Silverman. “I mean what self-respecting cyborg doesn’t know that Toronto is not in the USA? That was just a touch too dumb. If those humans had been just a bit smarter, they might have felt insulted. Which could have led to a violent unplugging event.”

With just one more match to go, will Watson produce tissues for Brad and Ken’s issues? Stay tuned! Meanwhile see below for a glimpse of Watson in action.

UPDATE FEB. 16… WELCOME COMPUTER OVERLORDS!

Just as Dr. Silverman predicted, Watson took home the million dollar prize but not before actually permitting his human opponent Ken Jennings to rack up a respectable number of correct responses first. As a result, although Watson went on to crush both humans in categories as unlikely as “What To Wear?” along with a more calculated betting strategy that enabled him to triple Ken’s score, in what might be a cyborg first, he did it without alienating his human opponents. In fact, at one point Ken Jennings held up a cheery sign of welcome to our computer overlords. Bring on the kinder, gentler Skynet!

The end of the world as we know it but Ken feels fine!