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Five Supernaturally Simple Dos to Keep Away the Krampii Sure, defending against dark spirits like Krampus is a little more complicated than swapping your sweater to foil that crazy Icelandic Yule Cat but it’s not as hard as Hollywood makes it out to be and you probably don’t need any heavy artillery. (Unless we’re talking […] Dos and Don’ts For Krampus Survival Krampus, the second most feared spirit of the season is officially on the loose tonight and sure to be roaming a street near you. Don’t be dragged to the depths of despair by this creepy Christmas cryptid, read and prepare your survival plan today. An SOS red and green […] Krampusnacht Survival Are you ready to face Krampus? The most feared Christmas cryptid comes armed with birch whips and bathtubs to drag you down the nearest hellevator shaft tonight. So unless you’ve confirmed your name on the official not-naughty list, read on. An SOS red and green alert. Krampus comes tonight! Mark it on […] MALLOCALYPSE BFZ SURVIVAL TIPS Batten the hatches Survivors, it’s Black Friday. Are you ready for the Mallies? If not, it’s not too late… yet. But it will be soon so don’t delay. Review these seasonal BFZ survival tips today! Your Black Friday survival is virtually guaranteed, 99.98%*. Black Friday Zombies Know The Mally Often referred to as a BFZ […] What About The Reindeer? Santa sightings from around the world flooding NORAD’s Santa hotline today all with the same news – Santa has upgraded to an ultra high-tech sleigh that appears to missing one very obvious feature – his trusty reindeer team. What happened to Rudolph and his crew? Sketch of Santa’s New Sleigh O Wishful Night As the Geminids light up the night sky this week, you like me may be preparing your wish for what is arguably the wishfullest night of the wish calendar year – December 24. Get Your One Wish Ready (And no I’m not talking about Santa Claus. Not after that nasty letter he sent me about our Krampusnacht coverage […] The Case of the Grinchscaping Goons Hang onto you holiday tree, the season of the Grinch is officially underway, with new reports of missing trees and mistletoe already but one unusually gregarious Grinch from Orlando is denying his guilt — only to point one long green finger at an unexpected suspect. Sasquatches deny Orlando Grinch’s claims. SOS […] Dark yuletidings from parts of Canada and the USA, as the annual battle for the light drags on without resolution this season, the globe is facing the possibility of an official Dark Christmas declaration. SCIA searching for suspect who goes by the name Kertaskinir As seasoned survivors recall, keeping the light lit is an important part […] Between dangerous Boxing Day sales and zombie mall Santas, it’s so easy to forget the real spirit of the season – that is, the spirits of the season. Unfortunately, these dark spirits will not forget about you. Did you decorate for survival? Oldentimey survivors understood the dangers of these long, dark nights […] SOS from the Seasonal Survival file, as you prepare to face the next holiday horror, that most spiteful spirit of Christmas, the dread Icelandic Yule Cat, remember there’s a right way and a wrong way to stop old Jólakötturinn the demon from eating your eyeballs on December 22. When the Yule Cat comes on December […] |
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