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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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Cannibal Meat Company Defends Celebrity Sausage

Cannibal critics say celebrity salami is grisly and gross!

Cannibal meat company Bitelabs defends its line celebrity sausages made from celebs like Kanye West and Jennifer Lawrence as a form of ethical meat to be celebrated and savoured by all, but critics continue to call it a faux food replacement product, and much less tasty than the stars themselves.

Cannibals selling meat […]

Return of the Giant Rats Get Ready!

Once rats were bigger than bulls and weighed more than a ton and this week scientists say it’s happening again so are you ready for the rise of the giant rats?

Giant Rats Rise Again – Businesses like this one hope to prosper.

Dr. Jan Zalasiewicz is making survival news this week with his prediction about […]

This Week In Survival Jan 25, 2014 Cannibals Convene Everywhere

Seems like there was no avoiding the cannibals This Week In Survival. Even if you could spot the clandestine cannibal convention now the cannibals are coming to you.  On a ship. That they sail themselves.

Cannibal rats crew the ship to a shore near you.

Yes cannibal rats on the ghost ship Lyubov Orlova are coming soon […]

Cannibal Conventions Continue Have You Been Invited?

Cannibal convention coverage brought to you by The Hatter.

Unless you want to wind up shrink-wrapped on a foam tray, now more than ever you need to know how to identify a potential Cannibal Convention before you book time off to attend.

Sure we all dream of a week off work or school in a swank […]

Cannibal Moms Really Want To Eat Babies - Science

Is your mom really a baby-hungry cannibal?

Before you answer NO just because she hasn’t eaten you yet, consider this, scientists studying women’s brains just proved that women, especially moms have addictive baby-hungry brains that really want to eat babies!

Could your mom be a recovering baby-addicted cannibal? Know the signs!

Could your […]

Cannibal Jewelry Tells The Real Tooth About Neanderthals

The tooth is in the necklaces, Spanish scientists said this week, describing their dramatic new theory for the demise of Neanderthals square in the stomachs of ancient cannibals.

Can you identify cannibal jewelry? Avoid extinction! Look before you lunch with a homo sapien…

Learn to identify cannibal jewelry before you lunch with a human.

Quick review: Neanderthals […]

Cannibal Threat Continues As Second Cannibal Colony Uncovered

The cannibal carnival continues as colonist Geoffrey Portway was sentenced to 27 years in prison today for trying to order a kid for delivery dinner online from another man in Massachusetts.

Colonists survived with a little helping of this Jamestown Jane Doe

This cannibal news comes just days after scientists confirmed the […]

Naked Cannibal or Zombie?

(SOS/ASAP/WTF) Miami, Florida – Cannibals say they are “deeply offended” today over Interweb buzz re: the so-called “Naked Cannibal”, a 31 year-old man named Rudy Eugene who was shot yesterday munching on another man’s face in broad daylight.

You are probably familiar with the facts. A police officer caught Mr. Eugene snacking on […]

Cannibal Pills Seized

Grisly news from Seoul, South Korea this week. A load of pills advertised as healthy food supplements turned out to be capsules for cannibals.

Read on for the good news and the bad news about cannibal pills. Another SOS true story, 99.98% guaranteed.

Capsules for Cannibals Discovered in Seoul South Korea

Zombie Valentine News

For anyone who missed the big Valentine’s Day announcement from Zyboragon, there’s an explanation for the mysterious zombie valentine posted to the site yesterday (below).

And it’s good news for all you non-cannibals. Zombies have taken V-day to re-respect a 1987 decision to restrict feeding habits to cannibals. Check it out!