(NORWAY) In doom weather news, worm rains have the whole world wondering if this is the beginning of the middle of the last third of the end at last, the worm-ocalpse itself, with none more worried than the worms themselves.
A skiing biology teacher named Karstein Erstand was the first to report finding these worms, thousands of them, lying on top of the snow.
“People have now observed the same phenomenon in many places in Norway,” Erstad told The Local news. “It’s very peculiar, I don’t know why so many people have discovered it. I don’t know if there have been some special weather conditions lately.”
While nobody yet knows the cause, the witches often responsible for apocalyptic precipitation like this have denied responsibility.
“Seth, do you seriously think we would bother with worms?” writes Goodwitch Maria, head of G.W.U.G. (Global Witches United for Good). “I am offended. So offended in fact that I am considering pelting you with apples again.”
Thankfully no demons haave responded to my email but the worms are clearly sounding the alarm.
“YOU THINK THIS ENDS WITH US? STUPID HUMANS THINK AGAIN!” reads their statement. “THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF THE END FOR ALL!”
But apocalypse watchers dispute the worms’ position with a call for calm.
“The beginning of the end is highly unlikely,” states Professor Dominicus Von Buren, citing a long list of other odd precipitates and plagues that have already occurred and detailing a list of others yet to occur. “At most we could be talking about the beginning of the middle of the last third of the end.”
Van Buren adds that he would not rule out a simple meteorological anomaly.
“It’s important to keep an open mind about these things.”
That said, if you are an earthworm, or a wereworm or you have an ear worm or you are friends with a worm, certainly it is past time to prepare. The CDC’s apocalypse survival guidelines is a good place start.
And of course, keep on keeping on here at SOS for all your truer-than-true supernatural news.
