Mineral springs discovered on Mars but should you book your Martian Spa Holiday today?
With the discovery of underground water flowing on Mars, the Internet is awash with reports of all the ways it will provide what you need for your future on the red planet.
But as you consider the epic announcements, SOS urges caution with one claim in particular – Martian spa holidays are mere decades away, book yours today!
“Thanks to the discovery of water, holidays on Mars are a certainty within mere decades,” writes David Baker, the editor of Spaceflight, and the author of the Haynes Workshop Manual to NASA Mars Rovers.
This report, which appeared in most mainstream media, endorsed by space tourism booster billionaires like Elon Musk and Richard Branson, has resulted in a pre-booking rush by survivors seeking a space spa experience in Martian mineral water.
“Martian mineral water is the best,” said one such spa-seeker who jumped at the chance to pre-book. “Just look at Martian actor Matt Damon. Don’t you want to look like him?”
Actor Matt Damon has refused to deny the secret to his pumped Martian physique is due to regular use of its mineral spas but canny viewers of his new space survival show, The Martian all note – the film works very hard to hide the existence of Martian waters.
“We just didn’t want the secret to come out yet,” Damon stated in defence of the film. “I mean, what if anyone could look like me? Even you, Seth?”
“I don’t need that kind of competition for lead roles. You think I want to go back to working in the fire opal mines?”