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Magic fruit trees bearing up to 40 kinds of fruit at one time in the United States this week are revealed to be the work of a known time traveller, who travels back to ancient Egypt for his source, seemingly with no regard for either the temporal or supernatural ramifications of his actions.
Sorcerer Sam Van Aken invented a time machine to transplant magic trees
When 16 fruit trees which just look like ordinary trees bloomed with up to 40 different fruits, across the USA last week, the world smelled magic – until the true sorcery was revealed.
SOS can reveal that notorious time traveller Sam Van Aken has finally confessed this week the true source of his sorcery was not magic at all, but ancient Egypt.
“They appeared on hieroglyphs,” Sam finally admitted to a reporter on NPR before revealing these photos of his secret time machine.
Sam hides his time machine in a horse trailer.
Sam, previously known to me as the only time traveler to hide his operations in this metal horse trailer, claims he was guided by hieroglyphs to bring these ancient magical multi-fruit trees forward, and place them in high-profile locations across the country.
While delighted tree tourists around the world may enjoy the fruit of his labor this week, his flagrant violation of time smuggling laws has left temporal law enforcement in a tizzy.
“I’m pretty sure the guy didn’t declare that in his luggage,” stated one time border official.”What part of no plants, food, drugs or mystical artifacts law did he not understand?”
While Sam defends his practice by insisting he doesn’t take the entire tree, just cuttings, Egyptologists are not so sure.
“If these trees appeared in hieroglyphics, the question you have to ask is why? Was it a warning to us in the future about the disappearance of these magical trees?”
Meanwhile, Supernatural Survivologists like ahem, me for instance, want to warn the world about the potential danger posed by these fruit trees.
“Putting aside the documented inflammatory effects of eating magical fruit, ancient Egyptian arboreal artifacts are chiefly a source of dangerous demigod magic,” stated Seth Greening, still the fifth most popular popular and first most reliable Supernatural Survivologist on the Internet.
For more info about demigods or about the notorious Sam Van Aken and his time machine, follow the links.
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
Interestingly enough, it says at YLL that the Aeolian Wolves and some members of the Oak Clan can time travel. Could time travel be an innate ability? My interest on this subject is piqued.
Aeolian Wolves are werewolves with aerokinetic abilities. Aerokinesis is the manipulation of air. Members of the Oak Clan are winter werewolves who are frequently aided by faeries.
What does the element air contribute in time travel?
The one thing that has been present to all of the events of the world through all of time is the sky.
I’m curious as to the intent behind loosing the statement that Aeolian Wolves are capable of time travel. Can you further explain the relationship between the element air and time travel?
The air has always been there, since the sky is air, time travel is basically moving through the memories of the sky, but not in a conventional sense, when the heavens turn to a flashback the entire world reverts to that point in memory, which also means, change a memory, change the world. By logic all events that occur before and after change. So when I say the sky is the only witness to all events in both human and supernatural history. That is how air relates to time travel and therefore so do Aeolian wolves, however very few among their ranks know this skill as it is only entrusted to the wise elders and not the foolish youth.
Thank you. It was itching at me and these topics are normally not discussed lightly.
Then you clearly do not know me for me, with all I have seen Hell to you would be a joke to me but I do not relish in laughter it’s more of a bad joke that no one laughs at.
I didn’t mean to imply your character traits negatively. My intention was that the matters are hard to get information on and not given to just anyone. Philosophy for philosophy, even the most taboo subject becomes fluid.
Water turns to bone, then so can bone turn to water. That is the law of change.
Nah its more like sandwiches turn into bunnies which turn into wildfires which BURN WISCONSIN TO THE GROUND! MUWAHAHAHAHAHHAH!
I’m an Aeolian, I can’t help with that
Magical fruit, from ancient Egypt no less, this is foreboding, I do believe these are the trees of the Underworld, they bare fruit so tempting and delicious simply touching the fruit was said to give deities of Egypt their renowned power. However mortals receive nothing more than a full belly and banana breath for the rest of the week.
Persephone and the pomegranates
Same tree, wrong kind of mythos, these trees were made by and for the Egyptian god but hades got hold of a seed and made a few….adjustments.
I hope there will be a 2014 Lightning Moon SOTM.
ya me too