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You are here: Home / Survival Resources / Stupid About Cupid Five Myths About the V-Day Demon

Stupid About Cupid Five Myths About the V-Day Demon

February 12, 2016 By Seth 18 Comments

Can you spot a Cupid before you wake up in a Las Vegas hotel with a strange band on your hand and a sinking sense of doom?

Today this supernaturally important question faces us all. Love and its consequences remains  among the most supernaturally mysterious survivillogical forces at work in our universe.  Read on and you may yet survive the V-Day demons who will be out in full force tonight.

Cupids of antiquity
Cupids of antiquity

Or don’t. But don’t email me when you wake up in Vegas married to a giant rock who looked like an elf last night or worse, a zombie stripper who removed much more than clothing.

Learn how to identify a modern Cupid before its too late. Hint: if you are still looking for a naked kid or a dude in an adult diaper, then you have fallen for the five myths about Cupid.

5 Myths About Cupid  

Myth #1: Cupid Flies Around Naked

Let’s get this out of the way. A modern Cupid is not going to make his or her quota from a jail cell facing indecent exposure charges. They know this and take pains to appear dressed at all times. Now we can argue about how dressed they really are, but that would be a waste of time. They have the ability to appear fully clothed and that’s the point.

So how dressed do they like to appear?

Here’s the thing about Cupids. As minor angelic and/or demonic beings – See Myth #4 – they can generate the appearance of whatever clothing they can imagine. So how they dress depends on what they feel like imagining. Most Cupids are pretty flashy dressers who like to change it up a lot so look out for multiple suspicious wardrobe changes and clothes that are just slightly different every time they appear.

And yes, if you do happen to catch a Cupid generating a new outfit, you might inadvertently see some parts you didn’t expect. Like wings and deadly claws, among other things. If this happens, don’t even think about hanging around to see what happens next. You don’t want to know.

The First Cupid Camera
The First Cupid Camera

Myth #2: Cupid is Armed With a Bow and Arrow

Okay yes, Cupids of antiquity were indeed armed with bows and arrows but that’s only because they had a deeper appreciation for metaphor and no other options. Modern Cupids swapped their bows for cameras over a hundred years ago and of course, today’s little demon is digital just like everyone else and has added a computer.

Yes the modern Cupid is a paranormal paparrazo hunting you with his Cupid Camera, not a bow and arrow. Their game is to get you in frame with the love object they have selected for you and then CLICK – say goodbye to your sense and sensibility, at least until you can delete that image at the source.

Myth #3: Cupid Is Blind

Another poetic interpretation. Let’s get this straight. LOVE is blind. Cupid just likes dark sunglasses. For obvious reasons. He doesn’t like to project where he’s looking and who he’s sneaking up on.

Myth #4: Cupid is a Minor Deity

That’s what she wants you to think but trust me, Cupid is no goddess of love.

So what is he? A little demonic dude cursed to the task of germinating  terrible relationships for the amusement of the underworld OR a minor angelic being who has to hook up enough humans to atone for the amorous sins he committed during his time on earth?

The answer here, we now know, is either, or… BOTH. So how do you know which kind of Cupid has you in his or her sights?

The answer is, you don’t. Supernatural survivologists of old used to warn lovers about gold arrows vs. lead arrows and white wings vs. black, but the truth we now know is there are no hard and fast rules. Play it safe and assume there’s probably at least one of both kinds, competing for who will get you first.

Myth #5: There Is Only One Cupid

See the deity myth, above. There can be and there is more than one. There are whole choirs of Cupids, corps of Cupids. More and more all the time. They’re a small but important part of the eternal war for Heaven and Earth. Think of them as underground foot soldiers for the soft war games that enable the higher ups to plan the bigger stuff.

So now you know how to spot a modern Cupid, good luck on V-Day, survivors. Try to stay off Cupid’s Camera – or not, depending on your situation – and remember this one tip if nothing else – Cupids love honey but they hate bees. Keep a fake bee in your pocket and be prepared to throw it when the Cupid Camera appears.

Get the facts about valentines day. From the true werewolf roots of Valentine’s Day to stalker killer survival and the real reason we give Valentines, your survival this full moon depends on it.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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Filed Under: Survival Resources Tagged With: Angels, Demons, Valentine's Day

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Comments

  1. Robin Hood says

    February 10, 2014 at 5:56 pm

    Aye, Seth, I have a question for ye. What do I do about a haunted painting? I recently err… Purloined a rather beautiful painting, but I believe it to be cursed. If it is, is it safe to sell it?

    Reply
    • Kurogane says

      February 11, 2014 at 1:50 am

      Nope not at all. If you sell the painting the spirit will just come back and haunt you, and every generation of your family after you. So what you should really do is draw a magic circle made of black salt around it and put a drop of your own blood in each corner of the star in the circle and pour gasoline on it. Then take sage and light it. The next step will be to write six times on a piece of black paper the rune of fire place it on the painting. Place the painting and black paper in the centre of the circle . Finally dip some dried nightshade and foxgloves in rubbing alcohol and set the entire circle ablaze.

      Reply
  2. Agent RB says

    February 10, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    Are you on Cupidgram seth? It’s all the rage down here on the other side. It’s even replaceing Macebook and Skitter. Follow me @RnoahB…

    RB/Noah of Ark

    Reply
    • Kurogane says

      February 11, 2014 at 1:53 am

      I am follow me at @kuroganethedarkone. Ps have you seen the latest star struck lovers on cupidgram it’s a fat dude and an anorexic chick. Lol super funny!

      Reply
      • Agent RB says

        February 11, 2014 at 8:24 am

        Lol, I love the one with the girl and the octopus, that one is a little weird though…

        RB

        Reply
  3. Fenrir Ulfangr says

    February 11, 2014 at 10:20 pm

    Cupids! Where? I could use some for my barbecue.

    Reply
    • The Reaper says

      February 11, 2014 at 10:28 pm

      And you wonder why people used to think you would eat Odin…

      Reply
      • Eris says

        February 11, 2014 at 10:31 pm

        If we ever do eat Odin… I call his other eye… not that I would eat Odin, except that I would.

        Reply
        • The Reaper says

          February 11, 2014 at 10:35 pm

          Can I have his arm?

          Reply
          • Fenrir Ulfangr says

            February 11, 2014 at 10:38 pm

            My reply in moderation.
            And no I need him for now.

            Reply
          • Fenrir Ulfangr says

            February 11, 2014 at 10:38 pm

            Grrr mod.

            Reply
            • Eris says

              February 11, 2014 at 10:40 pm

              As long as I get his still beating heart 👿

              Reply
              • Fenrir Ulfangr says

                February 16, 2014 at 11:54 pm

                Eating hearts is my thing get your own.

                Reply
                • Hatter says

                  February 17, 2014 at 8:29 am

                  No it’s Amit the devourers thing

                  Reply
      • Fenrir Ulfangr says

        February 11, 2014 at 10:33 pm

        No, I actually did that. There aren’t too many ways to kill someone when you’re a giant wolf. Human hands are much more versatile. I did get speared in the head by Vidar right after that though. Then the remaining Eldar bound themselves to prevent us from going to war again. Now here we are twelve thousand years later trying to undo that very spell for our survival.

        Reply
    • Kurogane says

      February 12, 2014 at 1:07 am

      What are you using for marinade. Could you tell me. Cause on their own their pretty bland.

      Reply
      • Fenrir Ulfangr says

        February 12, 2014 at 10:31 pm

        Sage, rosemary and garlic.

        Reply
        • Kurogane says

          February 13, 2014 at 2:55 am

          I’ll give it trya.

          Reply

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