With the singularity arriving ahead of schedule, the art of outsmarting our machine overlords, even temporarily, is a skill for every survivor to study seriously – and often.
In the spirit of your singularity survival, SOS turns attention this week to the advancing arts of anti-surveillance only to find it’s not as simple as slapping on a Guy Fawkes mask or tagging your dog as being you.
I’m not saying you should throw out the mask – or not tag your dog as you. The Anonymous face will still come in handy whenever you need to make an emergency video announcement or when you run out of Halloween disguise options.
But if you’re counting on that white face and smiley moustache to let you pass undetected in your daily life, new research reveals it may be time to expand your camo kit.
Likewise, if you like me rely chiefly on mis-dicrection – you know, tag a friend or your dog or even an occasional stapler as being you, well Future Everything reporter Bill Thompson informs me this is no longer enough.
“The algorithms have advanced to a point where multiple strategies are required if you want to pass unnoticed in the world,” he said, suggesting that I book a visit to the latest kind of hair salon, a so-called “Anon Salon,” where you can get an anti-surveillance makeover guaranteed to help you pass virtually unnoticed by the creatures of code.
That I didn’t take Bill’s advice is something I regret today after being on the receiving end of a brutal One Direction-inspired haircut. But at least I have done the research and here’s what I found:
4 KEYS TO MUDDLING THE MACHINES
1. Don’t rely on masks
Yes even if you can grow or print your own custom skin job. In addition to being illegal in many public places, most machines use a number of ways to detect their presence on the surface of your face from heat signatures to circulatory maps of your skin.
Likewise, this would rule out wearing of somebody else’s face. Even if your friend said he wasn’t using his, the legal and logistical complications do not over-ride this simple fact – the machines know.
2. Hide key facial features
Concentrate on the area where your eyes, nose and forehead meet. Wear sunglasses because they make you look cool but they won’t fool most machines today. Old school disguise is still however an option. Coal digger, invalid, surgeon or nun are always popular options. Basically anything that lets you smudge or cover your face in socially approved ways.
3. Misdirect with Asymetrical Light and Shadow
You don’t have to become a camouflage cosmetician to draw an extra eyebrow on your forehead or stick a glowy bandaid under the other eye. Sure if you want to get fancy you could invest in some flashy LED bling but really we’re talking anything that makes it hard for the camera sensors to get three good overlapping images to confirm the face belongs to you.
4. Remain Inconspicuous
The best advice I always give sometimes. It never fails. Especially if a machine has been sent back from the future to eliminate you based on some messianic prophesy. Avoid fulfilling messianic prophesies wherever possible. Try to remember to not do anything of note. I for instance aim to be only the 5th most famous supernatural survivologist on the Interwebs – albeit first most reliable. In 1999 I accidentally slipped into third place for a while after Steve Irwin died. It was the scariest year of my life. Lucky for me, I was saved by the ubiquity of broadband Internet and the explosion of digital television. Consistent underachievement is a valid survival tactic in life, even after high school – with Survival everything remains possible. And that’s what I love about it.
I know this may not be possible for you, I understand. Not everyone can maintain a solid level of mediocrity. If you do in fact have some over-riding mission or talent beyond survival, well then you’ll just have take your chances and fulfill your destiny. But if so, arm yourself with the latest anti-surveillance info by reading about it here and be sure to keep on keeping on with SOS, whenever it’s safe.by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com