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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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Saved by Elves: Icelandic MP Wanted for Elfnapping

An Icelandic member of parliament who claims some beautiful elves saved his life, is now wanted for elfnapping in the third degree by Álfaskólinn, the Icelandic School for Elves.

Árni Johnsen says his life was saved by an elf stone in 2010, when a terrible accident completely destroyed his car but left him completely unharmed.

The first thing Arni saw when he got out of the smashed car was a very large, mysterious boulder by the side of the road. Arni instantly fell in love with the rock.

An SOS 99.98% truer-than-true story: 

Arni Johnsen fell in love with the elves in this rock.

For months after the crash, Arni would not leave the rock alone.  His friends and neighbors debated what do do. He talked to the rock. He ate with the rock. He slept with the rock.

Finally on the advice of a friend, Arni consulted with television personality Ragnhildur Johnsdottir, a so-called elf expert who advised  Arni that the magic rock contained three generations of beautiful elves living inside it and that maybe he should just take them all home with him. And maybe have a shower already. 

But Magnus Skarphedinsson, principal of the Icelandic School For Elves, says this is the worst advice Arni could have ever received. Read on!

Helpy Elf Tip: Did you know that elves like honey?

Well neither did I. But Arni Johnsen kept the elves quiet during the long journey on the truck by feeding them scoops of honey and providing a bed of sheep skin.

Arni Johnsen says he fell in love with the elves who saved him.

 

As principal of the Icelandic Elf School in the capital city of Reykjavik  Magnus’ job is to accumulate all knowledge about the 13 different kinds of elves and other hidden people who call Iceland home. Magnus says that moving an Elf Stone is one of the worst things you can do.

Magnus says that disrupting an elf settlement usually results in mysterious accidents and unexplained bad luck for the mover and his entire family and possibly his neighbors and friends.

Unfortunately, Magnus failed to convince his rock-loving friend Arni, who proceeded to move the Elf Stone to his home anyway.

He did take the advice of  his friend Ragnihildur though, who told Arni to position the rock on open grass with the flat side of the rock toward the sun, so they can graze their tiny elf sheep.

Only time will tell who is right on this one. I’ll follow up with Arni in a few months.

Until then, remember BE NICE TO BIG ROCKS just in case. I’m not saying you have to hug them and adopt them and talk to them like Arni did.

Just be a little careful how you sit on them and maybe a little, “thank-you” when you go. You never know, it could save your life one day!

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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