(SOS/ASAP/WTF) This is possibly the most disturbing product on the market since the Chinese cannibal pills last spring.
Another SOS truer-than-true story in progress….
So there I am stocking up on supplies at my favorite supernatural supplies store. You know, just for the usual: muffins, crispy barbeque cricket larvae, Spray Nine and bottles of oxygen water so I can stay underwater without breathing, when surplise! There’s a can of so-called “Zombie Mints” right there on the shelf beside everything else.
My first thought of course was – well good. Finally a product to deal with zombie breath. That whiff of decay that almost kills you even before they try to sink their yellow teeth into your skull. That supernatural stench that almost makes you wish you could join them just so you wouldn’t have to smell them anymore.
But that was before I read the fine print on the back label. The photo didn’t turn out so I’ll just tell you about it. The ingredients lists, “real and simulated brain flavor.” (Along with a surprising amount of sugar for a candy that targets beings with no functioning taste buds. But I digress.) It reads, *REAL AND SIMULATED BRAIN FLAVOR???
I know, I know. I get it. Only real brain flavor will distract the real zombies long enough for you to get away. You just toss a few of them on the ground, then run.
But where exactly are they getting the real brain batter here? Donations? 3D printers? Willy Wonka? Tiny mint-sized holes in humans heads while they sleep?
I hope to get to the bottom of this ASAP but until the company replies to my email, survivors are advised to please use this product at your discretion.by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
It may be the same company that produces Zombie Berries, the berries that look and taste like a real human brain, this may actually be benefitial to survivors that aren’t wanting to be zombie chow.
We need someone around here who is friends with the zombies and can show us what this company really has planned. Some may see that it’s to help survive zombie attacks, but let’s say it’s a company run by zombies, they could be creating subsitute foods n case the nonzombie population runs out! I smell something fishy here.
Zombie Berries! Thanks for reminding me, how could I almost forgot about those Zombie Berries. So do you think it might be Zyboragan and the ZAHE behind these Zombie Mints? Did the simulated brain flavor of the zombie berries failed in clinical trial?
I find it hard to believe Zyboragon would be involved in producing something with “real and simuluted brain flavor.” Although it could explain why Zyboragan has disappeared from the site and I haven’t received a reply from the company.
Do you think Zyboragan has gone back to his zombie roots and has been involved in harvesting/producing real brain flavor?
For anybody who may have forgotten here is a link to the zombie berries.
Zyboragon might have never left <.<
I don’t follow.
sounds disgusting!!! Do they have muffin mints yet?? in case there isn’t any fresh ones around?
😐 Sounds awfull
Thanks for weighing in here. Though it’s hard to know for sure here, I’m going to guess this means that you are not in fact a zombie….
Wait. Unless you’re a Stage Oner. Which actually now that I think of it…
Er do you often speak in two word sentences?
Well if zombies gets mints.. what about use vampire/dragon/witch hybreds….mmmmm blood flavored mints sound good…I’m going to get the zombie mints anyway theres always some zobies catching the train….(giggle)