HALLOWEEN SELF-DEFENSE EFFECTIVE DISGUISE ESSENTIAL FOR YOUR SURVIVAL

Good Disguise Your First line of Supernatural Self Defense on Halloween

I said it a million times and I’ll say it again this year —->> on Halloween a good disguise is not just your ticket to a holy haul of candy, it’s your first line of supernatural self-defence on this most supernatural of nights.

Don’t believe me?

Believe the Vatican then because the Vatican itself publicly endorses my Halloween survival campaign.

Quick summary the Vatican exorcist Father Aldo Buonaiuto, of the International Association of Exorcists, recommends to disguise yourself as your favourite saint.

(Unless your favourite saint is Saint Polycarp of Smyrna, the patron saint of dysentery and earaches or Saint Fiacre the patron saint of people with STDs.)

Whether you choose a saintly disguise as the good father recommends or not, the point here is that ones far wiser than me understand your need for a safe and effective Halloween disguise. When the veils between worlds is thinnest, you need to go incognito. And choosing your disguise is the most important decision you will make — right after the pressing question of pumpkin bag vs. pillow case.

In the old, old days, true fact –>> parents used to disguise their kids as rotten vegetables, putting cabbages on their heads and such. And anyone who reads this blog should know that I have been calling for a return to this practice since 2010.

But I just want to point out that while stigmata and holy relics may be of some use defending against certain ghosts, gargoyles and demons, they help you not if Halloween brings the zombies and vampires to your neighbourhood. In fact, the blood stains, fake as they may be, might actually attract them.

Not to mention all that candy is bound to bring on a CANDYMAN…

No, your best bet is still a stinking, rotten head of cabbage or other large vegetable.

Of course if you haven’t been carefully cultivating your fetid head gear by now then it’s probably too late for you. My second best advice in this case is still just this – the least you can do on this day is disguise yourself as something that you’re not.

What I mean is, if you are a human, for heaven’s sake don’t go as a human. You’re not fooling anyone. If you’re a werewolf, consider changing it up and go as a zombie for once. That’s all I’m saying. Consider a saint if you want, by all means, just make sure you do your research and pick a mighty one, of whatever tradition. For dog’s sake, don’t count on Saint Drogo, the patron saint of unattractive people to help you under the evil eye of a vengeful witch.

Follow my advice this Halloween and your survival is guaranteed, 99.98%. And oh if you’re planning a Halloween party for the big night, a review of anti-vampire party planning is essential.

Your survival is guaranteed, 99.98%.