ET Phone Home

Lost and Found: Ancient Cell Phone But Does It Belong to An Alien? 

Aliens and time travellers rush to claim this ancient cell phone allegedly unearthed in Austria by archaeologists this week but none yet know the correct cuneiform number to claim it.

The cellphone allegedly appeared in Fuschl am See, in Salzburg, Austria. Researchers who unearthed the mysterious artefact date it to the thirteenth century, long before the appearance of cell phones on earth.

Did an alien lose this phone?

But is this really the lost phone of an alien visitor to earth some 800 years ago? Or the misplaced device belonging to a time traveller?

Disagreeable experts disagree.

“Earthlings had just invented the printing press and the closest thing to a phone they would know was a carrier pigeon for like the next 700 years,” sniffed Professor Van Buren. “There is no evidence of any time traveller trapped in this era searching to find or re-invent a lost device like this one.

Besides which, everyone knows technology like this can’t cross temporal barriers,” he added before going on to recall many reports of poorly equipped alien tourists wandering around wanting to phone home.

“Case closed, I say clearly an alien phone not a time traveller’s.”

Whether you are a time traveller or an alien yourself, if you know anyone missing their ancient cell phone, please contact the site immediately. But claimers take note: to prove ownership of the device you must know the correct number in cuneiform so look very closely at the keys first!