Cannibal Pills Seized

Grisly news from Seoul, South Korea this week. A load of pills advertised as healthy food supplements turned out to be capsules for cannibals.

Read on for the good news and the bad news about cannibal pills. Another SOS true story, 99.98% guaranteed.

The South Korean customs agency says pills containing children’s body parts were being smuggled into the country in suitcases and parcels from China.

But the Chinese government denies being behind the horrific cannibal capsules.

“I want to reassure everyone in the world community there are absolutely no cannibals in China,” says Health Ministry spokeman Deng Haihua.

“We ate them all.”

So then who is making these cannibal pills and why?

Well, nobody is jumping up to take responsibility but rumors of cannibal activity have surfaced everywhere.

“I’m so scared,” says 11 year-old Connor B. “My mom tried to give me Baby Aspirin. But is it made with real babies? Think about it. ‘Childrens’ pain relievers? Made with real childrens!”

Have modern cannibals given up their fire pits and big iron pots for a more socially-acceptable appearing food source?

Until we know more, Survivors are advised to be on the lookout for these cannibal pills, which are often blue, green or red and white. If you do see one, report it immediately. A mysterious pill in somebody’s home or on their person, could be a clue you are dealing with a cannibal. Get out of there as fast as you can.

Conversely can a simple baby aspirin stop a cannibal in his tracks? If you find yourself in a tight spot with one of them, try tossing them a Baby Aspirin and then run like heck.

Boy's mom tries to give baby aspirin. Is it made with real babies?