“Zombie-Proof Home Owner” MIA

“Zombie-proof home owner,” in Poland is MIA.

ALARMING ZOMBIE NEWS FROM POLAND:

This cement house in Poland becomes an Internet sensation after builder brags it up as “100% Zombie Proof!” But when all attempts to locate the zombie-proof home-owner fail, the question remains, is this a case of false advertising?

Consider the facts. This home took four years to build for an anonymous client. Its smooth concrete design includes such safety features as a retractable drawbridge and concrete-metal window shutters. After four long years, it was finally complete in 2009. Yet today after less than two short years this elaborate home is back on the market again. Why?

“To be fair, we never claimed that the owner was 100% Zombie Proof,” clarifies the home designer Robert Konieczny from his place of business KWK Promes in Poland. “Just the home.”

But even this claim remains in doubt after the home’s owner, zombie proof or not, remains AWOL today. Recent attempts to locate him have uncovered only an abandoned shoe. As everyone knows, abandoned shoes can be among the first signs of the last stages of ZSE, as the infected shambler loses all feeling in his or her feet and ceases to care about proper foot protection or fashion.