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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!


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Witches Warn Lady Gaga After Witch Assistant Fired

Witches worldwide threaten to curse Lady Gaga and revoke all her fame and riches today after the pop diva defended firing her personal assistant for witch-like behaviour.

Bewitched: Witches react to Lady Gaga firing witch assistant (left)

In official court documents Lady Gaga accused fired assistant Jennifer of just staring at her, “like a witch,” after refusing to be at her beck and call and not even using her witch magic to unpack the pop star’s 20 heavy bags for her.

“She would only open a couple of bags and it was very stressful for me because then again on my days off I couldn’t really have a day off because you know, I weigh 115 pounds and I was trying to move these big heavy luggages all by myself in the room,” stated Lady Gaga.

Her statements have enraged the World Witches Federation, who warn that one does not hire a witch to be at one’s “beck and call” let alone unpack bags.

“One does not hire a witch for her bag unpacking spells!” raged Romanian White Witch Queen Maria Campina. “Does Lady Gaga imagine that all her fame and fortune comes out of thin air? Maybe it’s time for us to revoke the magic we have granted her if she is going to keep acting this way. Let her deal with the demons and see how she likes that!”

The White Witch says that she will bring up the matter for vote at the next WWF council. Until then she warns everyone to be kind to Witch Assistants, who work very hard and are in many cases the the hidden source of your power and riches.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

2 comments to Witches Warn Lady Gaga After Witch Assistant Fired: Your Days of Fame Are Numbered

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