A showdown at The Crossroads is brewing! As witches around the world prepare to celebrate their biggest holiday on November 30, an ominous force is gathering to oppose them, namely the biggest Ceili of leprechauns in global history.
First – my apologies to witches including our own Mr. Jaffa, for overlooking to acknowledge the fact that November is Witches’ Month. A time for men to celebrate by leaving food and supplies for traveling witches at three-way intersections and/or by making masks or growing protective facial hair – or both – to prevent any witches with a grudge from recognizing them.
Historically this arrangement has worked very well. It enables the November witches to travel uninterrupted by night, to work their healing mojo on the sick and the dying without the distraction of having to stop and wreak revenge on anyone.
Generally speaking the only other supernatural beings who would dare to mess with a witch this time of year is an angel and even the most ambitious angel would normally wait until after the witches’ biggest holiday, The Crossroads on November 30.
So what’s up with the leprechauns this year? A record number of them – 262 of them – fearlessly manifested a show of traditional strength in Dublin last week. Blame it on global warming but the Leprechauns are leaping out of March and laying claim to Witches’ Month.
“Those witches don’t scare me. As far as we’re concerned, every month is Leprechaun month,” stated one of them (below), who refused to give his name or lower his fake beard.
Famous last words, leprechaun! Survivors, don’t get caught in The Crossroads Crossfire! Remember to:
1. Grow a beard if you can. If you can’t, invest in a good fake one and don’t take it off. Not even if you’re a girl. Not even when you go out. Especially not at night.
2. Avoid 3-ways if you can. If you can’t, at least avoid them at night. (Witch magic is strongest at 3-way intersections.)
3. If you must cross a 3-way intersection at night, remember to leave a distracting snack for any traveling witches. Something good like a bacon double cheeseburger not your moldy last week’s lunch. They’ll know it was you and remember. (Hence tip number one – the beard. It’s not just about cancer!)
4. With the involvement of leprechauns this year, good idea to keep a little four leaf clover handy too.
wow! what a coincidence, crossroads and festival of hecate on the same day! if my calculations are correct, this will increase the power of dark magic by 70%. these leprachauns are getting intorelable. ive started to rely on exploding them from the inside. messy.
Mr. Mutt says
Uuuummmm couldn’t you just talk to them? I mean there probably not UNreasonable……. And I’m probably only saying this because I’m 60% Irish…..
ive found that most irish people are reasonable, however these leprechauns attack on sight. ive had to erase a few minds at school.
Mr. Mutt says
Dang……. Oh well….. Wait where’s my pot of gold?