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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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This Week In Survival Brings Blood Moon Tetrad, Flying Monkeys and Final 4 Million Moon Winners

The SOS 4 Million Moon Contest comes to a bleeding end with a bang of four bloody moons, as the so-called Blood Moon Tetrad begins here on Tuesday April 15.

Four Blood Moons In a Row to celebrate 4 Million Survivors

Four Blood Moons In a Row to celebrate 4 Million Survivors

Now I can’t claim full credit for making the moon celebrate the number 4 with us here at SOS by lining up a dramatic celestial display of four lunar eclipses in a row. No the credit must be shared with NASA who broke the story here, the Americas for whom all four eclipses will be visible, the Jewish faith, for scheduling the holy days due to coincide with this auspicious event and the planet Mars for lining up with the Earth and Sun.

(Hey does this have anything to do with the Mars light SOS? Hmmmm…. makes you think doesn’t it?)

But what I can claim is this – when the first of four bloody moons rises on April 15, there will be prizes and survivors here, including one grand prize winner.*

So if you haven’t entered the four million moon contest yet, there’s still time. Not much time, mind you but more than enough to pick any one of the easy free ways to enter here before midnight Tuesday night, EST.

*Offer pending continued survival of the Earth in general, you and me in particular and soothsayer  televangelist John Hagee’s expected qualification of his apocryphal prophesy that the tetrad event will usher in the apocalypse.

Until then, check back here as we check in with survivors keeping on keeping on around the globe, starting with:

Warning from Hatter this week

Warning from Hatter this week

Flying Monkeys Ahead:

–>> A note from HATTER who is either tracking the appearance of flying monkeys – or else giving them directions! Unless you are a witch or a flying monkey, you might want to plan an alternate route to Oz this week.

Flying monkey hunters take note, this species is still closely protected and controlled by a council of very crusty witches

Missing Reaper Scythe

–>> An update from BLUESTAR about the REAPER’s missing scythe. To recap – the Reaper has been reclining on the couch working on palindromes of all things, ever since his scythe went MIA in a cataclysmic full moon event. Good news some say for the souls on his revolving list, but likely bad news for the rest of us as a completely unqualified being could be taking up his scythe as we speak….

White Chocolate Bunny Alert

–>> Being myself of the mainly caucasian persuasion, I don’t think it’s racist to remind you the white chocolate bunnies are here, so be prepared. Remember to sleep with a hammer beside your bed on Easter weekend, if you don’t already, because a significant percentage of these trojan Easter confections contain this creepy confection demon lurking inside. What percentage of white chocolate bunnies contain this creeper remains unclear. I hope to clarify the numbers after the blood moon, after conducting my own white chocolate buy and smash test this week. (Last year I made the mistake of bringing my hammer into the stores and let’s just say it didn’t end well.) If you are a bunny nibbler, learn to smash before you gnash! It’s the only way to scare the spirit away.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

70 comments to This Week In Survival Brings Blood Moon Tetrad, Flying Monkeys and Final 4 Million Moon Winners

  • Urban Squatch

    Uh… Is it just me… Or has Seth taken over the universe? Reaper did say something about blood on the moon this month… Of course, he might be crazy.

    • Agent RB

      Yeah no, that’s Sehth, he is still running around takeing over things because I forgot to send him back to his dimension after hatter was tricked by me into summoning him and unbanishing me…
      Oops…

      RB

  • Blood on the moon! Blood on the moon! HAHAHA! I was right! Take that Steven Hawking! Well, I do have to feel bad for a guy in a wheel chair… TAKE THAT AL GORE! *Kicks him into a wheelchair.* Wait, Al Gore is for environmental protection… Great, now who am I going to kick for saying I was crazy?

  • Jerry9012

    *Sigh* One of the first signs…

    • Lilith

      The first horseman draws near… Conquest, he cometh…

      • Agent RB

        Lilith, I’ve been wondering, how is it you can enter Eden and holy ground with ease, are you not banished by your very nature from those places, god banished all snakes from the garden, even you mother…

        RB

      • Wait, I thought he already did come? Like, halloween last year? If not, who have Squatch and I been eating Chili with…?

        • Agent RB

          no, he came…
          its just he left…
          so he could make a dramatic entrance just now…
          but don’t tell anyone he’s been hanging around the mortal world…
          he’s suposed to be awaiting down here…
          just like YOU REAPER!!!

          • Fine, but only so that I can see my old Buddy’s War, Famine, and Conquest. Also, call me by my new code name… Wait for it… MATRIX!

            Matrix

            • Agent RB

              You have changed your code name more time than any other reaper.
              i don’t think the reaper codex will let you change it anymore time under your registered account at reaper corps.

              RB

              • The Reaper

                The lady at the admissions desk has a thing for me. Oh, hey. I guess I’ll stop by there and tell Gladys hello. She’s an older lady, but nice enough. Plus, she bakes me cookies. :mrgreen:

                • Agent RB

                  sure thing Matrix
                  hey can you bring me by some of those cookies?
                  im sick of pom

                  wait, how’d she bake cookies?
                  the only ingredient we have down here is pom…

                  RB

                • Agent RB

                  oh and reaper, your an older man…

                  RB

                  • Just because I’m older doesn’t mean I don’t look younger than her… I look 18, she looks 70. Anyway, I’ll bring you some cookies. I bring the ingredients, she takes my souls I collected, she gives me free Oatmeal Raisin cookies. I’ll give you some. I’ll even bring a gallon of milk. I’ll be there in like…. 4-5 minutes?

                    • Agent RB

                      *quickly stuffs 3 cookies in mouth, they then proceed to turn into pomegranates*

                      *sigh* i guess ill have to eat these on earth, and here i thought id be able to enjoy my first snack in thousands of years in the comfort of my own home…
                      anyone else care to join me, i might as well go to paris and eat them there, its as good a place as any…

                      RB

                    • Mr. Mutt

                      *chucks a pomegranate at a white wolf* sure

            • Hatter

              Yeah just because I say so I am going to keep calling you and RB respectively either reaper or Noah, and also that if that franchise was a living thing it would have had one of the reaper corps members take it’s soul away after ther first movie then do what Velanko gas been doing e.g. Living without a soul.

  • Agent RB

    http://imgur.com/3ACIn84

    See if you all can spot a photobomb ing Penelope in my selfie
    :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

    RB

    • Hatter/Janus

      *opens the link* Left wing near the tip but it’s just a shadow in the pic oh and btw it’s not a selfie if someone else took it

      • Agent RB

        I did take it, I have one of those old cameras with a timer…
        That still counts as a selfie right…
        Gods…
        I don’t think I’ll ever understand this earth teen nonsense…

        RB

        • Hatter/Janus

          Ok timers make it confusing I only count a selfie as a selfie if the creature taking it has their hand on the image capture button while the selfie is being taken

          • Agent RB

            Darn fairy and their stupid selfies, I think I’m going to leave that to them from now on…

            RB

          • So, I went back to school yesterday. And who do I run into but my ex? It was quite awkward. But on the other hand, Squatch got an awesome pic.

            http://i.imgur.com/Spe3WG2s.jpg?1

            • Hatter/Janus

              Why is it in every pic of you reaper either you are dressed as a stereotypical reaper or wearing an awesome outfit that covers your face?

              • Probably because I don’t want you to see my face until I come out with an actual video which may or may not happen this year depending on if I can get cash from working at McDonalds. But you really think my outfits are awesome? Also, I have been up reaping since like… 12 o’ clock this morning. I may just pass out like… Nowwww………………

                • Hatter/Janus

                  Of course your outfits are awesome in fact they are mad hatter approved outfits as of… Now oh and because you might need it *gives you a green bowler hat* just spin it clockwise if you ever need help

                • Bluestar

                  Hey my sister ate something from Mcgagandpuke NO OFFENSE REAPER just my family HATES mcdonalds cause it aint real meat

              • Agent RB

                He is a reaper hatter…
                If you know a reaper’s face you can cheat him…
                That’s why I took all of my shade skin off for my picture…
                Plus it’s more comfortable without it…

                RB

                • Hatter/Janus

                  Well it’s a good thing I could still shift forms back when I was a reaper isn’t it? Oh and btw I only remember minor details of my time as a reaper consisting entirely of when it began, how and when it ended, and the way I looked at the time.

                  • Agent RB

                    *pins hatter to the ground and takes out some medical instruments*

                    I guess the wipe didn’t fully work on you, no matter I’ll just have to do it manually…
                    Are you ready for your lobotomy?

                    RB

                    • Hatter/Janus

                      But you forget Noah *disappears in a proof of smoke and reappears at a door that just appeared marked “hatter”* I win most of the time

                    • Agent RB

                      *takes out a sheet of paper and reads aloud*
                      We the Grimm society of reapers now declare war against
                      1 hatter.
                      Only hatter….

                      I never thought I ever would have to use that.
                      *a swarm of reapers spread themselves amongst all known dimensions*

                      RB

                    • Hatter/Janus

                      Hey reaper give it a spin if the world gets in trouble *goes to an unknown reality*

                    • Agent RB

                      Go ahead and hide now, hatter, but when you return to the mortal world, my reapers will be waiting, armed to the teeth with medical instruments…

                      RB

                    • Just for the record, you only gave me a paddleball toy.

                      Almost breaking my record… Dang it! 1 2 3!
                      Beat my record! :mrgreen:

                  • Hatter/Janus

                    Ok two things Noah 1) you are as crazy as you are part of the bible, 2) reaper *takes the paddle ball back and gives you a GREEN BOWLER HAT* give that hat I just gave you a spin when the world is in danger

                    • Noah gave me that for my deathday… 🙁

                    • Agent RB

                      Were friends right?
                      And as friends we do nice things for each other like friendship lobotomy…
                      So what do you say, come on, you know you want brain surgury…
                      Also, I didn’t get one speaking part in the bible, and I know I said some strong things about god, but he basicly muted me out of the bible…

                      RB

                    • Hatter/Janus

                      “Becomes world famous because of book about God seems to absolutely hate God” Noah if we were really friends you would understand that cutting part of my brain off is not a very nice gesture,

                      and btw at least your part of the bible I’m not even in the 1654 edition and I flat out screamed at people that Jesus was my older brother (truth).
                      I just realized something else to everyone one this site that has a relation to G or Christians is crazy in some way and has a weird yet awesome style I wear clothes together that urban squatch would light me on fire for wearing in public, you go free form and don’t even wear clothes, and the reaper wears black or dark gray hoodies and jeans

                    • You have a point Hatter. Also, urban Squatch has told me to point out that just because he’s classy doesn’t mean he has no sense of fashion. Of course, this is coming from the guy who is wearing a top hat and monocle like a hairy monopoly guy… Hey! Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful. I’m back, Squatch ripped me out of my seat. Why he didn’t edit, I will never know. I suppose he wants you to feel sorry for him. Now where was I… Oh yeah, I didn’t even know they made monocles anymore!

                    • Hatter/Janus

                      Your right Noah friends do do nice things for each other *tosses you what looks like a tablet* that should warn you if anyone gets anywhere near the current location of the underworld and anyway why are reapers so secretive about what is basically putting marbles in a bag then going home afterwards and dropping the marbles on the floor and writing down things about those marbles? Answer that

                    • Agent RB

                      Hatter, reaping is only one of the many jobs of the grim socity!
                      We a basicly the MIB of the supernatural world, we handle clean up, and passage between the worlds in order to keep orde to an anceint balence that has existed for millions of years. The only reson we reap spirits is because we don’t want a bunch of ghost running about prove ing the existance of our world.

                      RB

                    • Agent RB

                      For example, if sasquatch were the biggest threat to prove ing the supernatural real we’d be bagging them insted of ghosts, but because ghost are by far the biggest problem, we have been associated with the d@eth word

                      RB

                    • In other words. If there’s something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? Reaper Corps! If there’s something weird, and it don’t look good, who ya gonna call? Reaper Corps!

                    • Hatter

                      You didn’t disprove my marble analogy thus your argument is less than valid, anyway if you guys are basically the supernatural police why is it that you try and wipe the mind of any… Oh now I understand the MIB reference but you forget I was never actually a part of the human world and never mentioned a single word of what I did remember about being a reaper to a single *snickers* a single soul *bursts into laughter* oh and why did you focus two comments on how I was basically right the whole time well trying to prove me wrong?

                    • Hatter

                      Btw reaper you just confused reaper corps with ghost busters and ghost busters with men in black

                    • Agent RB

                      Hatter I don’t care if you have done said anything to anyone yet, you still might, and if you do that could jeopardize the entire operation!
                      About 1/5 of al humans have what I like to call the hunter gene, if they are exposed to the supernaturals existence it’ll take them over and they will do whatever they can in their power to get rid of it. Have you seen what humans can do when determined enough?

                      RB

                    • Well, we don’t have a theme song, and We Are The Men In Black belongs to another secret organization I probably should stop talking about before I get deported.

                    • Hatter/Janus

                      How about this anyone who has a connection to G completely forgets that this comment thread and we just go and get some form of food dependant on what surface time we align with at the current moment or just take a nap. I like that idea and it’s the most survival oriented solution

  • Mr. Mutt

    I just caught a voidling sniffing around my territory… But voidlings only come from the Void…. And I eliminated all of the ones that came through during the first Void war….. Strange

  • Bluestar

    Crap i hate looking at bloody moons luckily im an Ice moon….i hope i was born the end of 2000 7 days before 2001 which was the new moon of the ice moon it was a new moon on christmas day i was born when the moon was just out at 6:31 pm SETH YOU DELETE THE WORDS I WILL ASK REAPER TO TELEPORT TO YOU AND CUT YOU! 👿

  • Agent RB

    Who’s ready for PALENDROME WEEK

    41414
    41514
    41614
    41714
    41814
    41914

    RB

  • Agent RB

    Seth, while I apreciate the nice gesture of helping me with my little missing sickle problem, I’m not THE reaper, I simply am A reaper.
    It might get confusing to those who click on the link…

    RB

  • Agent RB

    ill be off for a while guys, a dear friend of mine has passed and ill be grieving for the next few days, just want you to know in case your wondering.
    it was a hit and run accident.
    by two criminals in a minivan.
    if you go on to WFAA Dallas you’ll see the top story.
    he was 13.
    😥 😥 😥

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