The Walking Moai

(SOS/ASAP/WTF) Scientists have finally proven it, once and for all. Stone giants known as Moai, do indeed walk on Easter Island.

In fact, National Geographic scientists have finally caught one in the act of walking!

An SOS truer-than-true story in progress…

It’s common knowledge these great stone Moai are actually the revered elders of the Rapa Nui, a magical people who grow to an average height of 13.3 feet tall and weigh around 12 tons at the end of their lives.

Island legends have long maintained these ossified elders would take one final walk to the coast, over 18 miles away from the village, where they would line up for all eternity, keeping watch over their families but never lifting a finger again.

But ever-skeptical scientists refused to believe that stone giants that big could ever walk, let alone that far. They argued that rollers and pulleys must have been used to haul these aged ancestors to the coast so they could stand sentinel for all eternity.

Until just weeks ago, scientists with National Geographic finally succeeded in trapping a real live walking Moai:

This 10-foot, 5 ton Moai walked right into the scientists’ snare and danced with them all the way to the coast where it became the youngest of over 800 stone giants standing guard over the Rapa Nui people.

“The statue just did its thing,” stated scientist Terry Hunt who led the statue trapping expedition.

Terry adds that he hopes this means there will be more stone giants walking, dancing and even racing across the Easter Island sometime very soon! But nobody is sure how long it will be before another Moai decides to take a walk as Moai time moves more slowly than human time.

Meanwhile Easter Island officials are very concerned about Moai hunters flocking to the island in search of a giant pet rock. They remind tourists that these great stone humans are sacred representations of real Rapa Nui elders, and are not to be treated like a boss capture in some video game.

Further, survivors are advised that if these stone giants are indeed on the move again, any attempt to capture one and turn it into a giant pet could prove fatal. Sure you might impress your friends and family for a while, but do you really want an 80 ton elder asleep on your foot for all eternity?

Probably not. So until we have confirmation that all of these so-called scientists made it back alive, remember if you spot a Moai on the move, please clear the path immediately. Do not interrupt progress to the coast.