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Postcards From Vamp Camp Look Before You Book

Are you tired of seeing your friends ship off to summer sleepaway camp while you have to stay home kicking around the coffin all day because of your need to stay out of the sun?

Seems like there’s a summer camp for almost every supernatural situation, from demigods to witches, zombies to werewolves. Even demons and angels. (Nobody likes a good campfire better than a demon.) Hey just because you don’t sleep, ever, doesn’t mean you don’t want to NOT-sleep away, like every other young supernatural and his dog. Am I right?

Of course I am, 99.97%. That’s just a fact. Thankfully this year a number of new vamp camps have opened up in several abandoned mines located around the world. But before you book your summer sojourn at any one of these new vamp camps take a look at some of the reports SOS has received from survivors:

Camp Turda:

The t-shirts suck but the mini-golf is okay

The t-shirts suck but the mini-golf is okay

“Hey Seth from Camp Turda.

The brochure says underground  theme park in Transylvania salt mine but let me ask you. What do you think when you hear the words “theme park?” I don’t know about you but I was expecting roller coasters and ferris wheels and things on sticks you can eat but so far the only attraction I have seen is mini-golf.

Worse, the second and third year campers refer to us noobs as “Little Turds.” Like doesn’t that make them “Big Turds?” How is that cool? Whatever. They don’t care. They like to try and scare you in your bunk to see if you’ll step off into the shaft and fall to the bottom of the pit. It’s not that it hurts that much but it takes you forever to climb back up and everybody laughs.

 At least the elevator is pretty fun. We have a contest to see who can push all the buttons before somebody gets in. You get a points for every floor and for not getting caught. So far I am in third place so that’s okay. But I miss home. Or at least Internet. The reception down here is terrible. Be sure and report to the other Survivors about that okay? G2g the elevator’s here and one of the counsellors is waiting to get in.

—>> signed, Darkhawk. 

Camp Wieliczka

Chapel of St. Kinga

Chapel of St. Kinga

“Hi SOS. This place is unexpectedly alright! I thought for sure it was going to SUCK, pardon the pun because A) It’s inside an old salt mine in Poland and 2) All the stuff they tell your parents about how you will do the salt pilgrim route which is basically just walking and praying and praying and walking to these freaky salt statues of the sacred ancestors. Not my idea of a good time. 

So I had this big plan to steal the sacred salt pearl and break outta here to meet up with a few other survivors, but then I discovered the interactive 3D media lab complete with 3D DDR and now it’s okay. I’m still keeping my eyes open for the salt pearl and I wish you could have a real campfire but for now I can report Camp Wieliczka is not too weak-za.”

—>> signed Cindersis

 Camp Bonne Terre

Camp Bonne Terre Mine promises great diving for vampires.

Camp Bonne Terre Mine promises great diving for vampires.

“Guess I should have picked one of those camps in a salt mine like all my friends but when my uncle said I had to pick a camp or get a job in a salt mine I didn’t really see the point of camping in one.

So ya I picked Camp Bonne Terre and trust me the water is NOT this blue IRL. Not even close. It used to be an iron mine so it’s actually really murky and every time you dive in you risk coming up with a rusty old pickaxe in your head. Still, learning to dive is pretty cool. 

Tomorrow there’s an underground botany class when we learn about mine flowers and that should be okay too. I like flowers. There’s also a trout pond for fishing *yawn* and a waterfall you can jump in. 

The best part? I guess that would be the herd of wild mules. Apparently a bunch of mules went feral after being left down here after the mine closed and now they terrorize the tourists. I can’t wait to see them. I’m going to tame one and name it Mike. Keep on keeping on Seth.” –>> signed, Selene

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

22 comments to Postcards From Vamp Camp Look Before You Book

  • Seth, seeing as I cannot find you doing an Ice Bucket challenge… Tomorrow, on Reapers Lazy Days, I shall be taking the challenge. And then, I shall challenge you! Good luck Seth.

  • werewolf girl

    Seth they are not vampire camps they are just camps human camps ok they are swimming in that picture vampires don’t swim they die if they go in the water

    • Hatter MT

      Actually WWG what you just said is 99.98% wrong and the exact opposite is true, due to vampires not being considered alive and the fact that water is not on their list of stuff that can k1ll them they won’t die if they enter water, oh and BTW vampires are better swimmers than humans because despite popular opinion vampires need not breathe it’s actually zombies that die in water

  • Kurogane

    Well…..I’m off to Eastern Europe for my monthly vampire hunt. I only have one problem though 😕 I’m not sure if I should go to Transylvania,Serbia,Poland or Belarus for it. Someone help me pick!

  • Assanjin

    Vampires also known as methusala do not burn in sunlight, not most of them at least, they are nocturnal and are therefore blinded by sunlight, they are also sensitive to silver like the lupine. Dhampir are the human/methusala hybrid they are also known as day walkers, they mostly eat solid food and they stop aging after a certain age, they do drink blood as well. Then there are the crusniks, they are known as kinslayers as they are vampires who kill and drink the blood of other vampires, these are the most dangerous, feared even by the counts of old such as Vladimus Draculia the 3, also known as Vlad the impaler.

  • Kurogane

    You have forgotten about the most hated off all vampire species the Vampirium belluinus more colloquially known as the bruskolask. These are crusnik-dhampyr hybrids. Also known to many as the Nosferatu(not to be confused with vampirium nosferata) due to their lack of hair whatsoever. They are the second most powerfull next to the bruskolask-werewolf hybrid known as the prodromus exitium. These are very rare and very powerful. They are completely immune to both silver and sunlight. The only way to kill one of these is to blind them with j-strength holy water((taken from the river Jordan by virginal girls wearing white robes with silver thread embedded and blessed by 40 priests. The water is then consencrated by 50 priests of the world s major religions. Which are : Christianity(specifically the catholic denomination,the priest must also be of the Franciscan order),Judaism,Islam,Buddhism,Taoism(specifically a medium wearing all black robes who is over the age of 40 and is completely blind) and finally Sikhism.)) then piercing through both of their hearts with a uranium alloy based weapon and destroying their brains then removing the eyes and burning them.

    • Assanjin

      Yes, but one crusnik above them all is the most powerful of all vampires I have ever encountered, which is a lot by the way, I was able to fight off the hybrids and nosferatus quite easily, but this one was different, it took me a while for me to take him down, we battle for three days, then he starved from lack of blood and out of mercy I let him go. He was more terrifying than a thousand fold hoard of demons. More fierce than any I came across, he made my summers cold. The one crusnik above all vampires, he who slew his kin, he even slew his sibling Vladimus Draculia the third and drank his blood he has slain the most powerful Nosferatu from Tibet to Rome herself, he is the fiercest one the king kobra in a pit of vipers.

      • Assanjin

        And so I say let him be, he kills vampires after all so in effect he helps you complete your mission, but if you ever find him do not confront, he was starving when I met him, by now he must be full.

        • Kurogane

          Is he the spawn of abbadon? I have heard of only one vampire with those traits, and he is sealed in a pocket dimension within the pocket dimension of the great fortress. He is restrained by 4000000 seals by each clan leader of every generation of the ,Hebi,Kijin,Ryu,Akumamizu,chiha and kurakumichi sub-houses of the Gane clan and finally the clan leader of the Gane clan, or for the next trillion years or so, me! It’s name in Japanese is 親族の食い or when translated means devourer of kin or shinzoku no kui. In Latin it is known as the Devoratrix consanguineis perhaps you have heard of it. If this is the creature you speak of then yes I have fought it and it was a beast,but I beat it and restrained it as part of my 100,000 thousand year training for the position of leader of the Gane clan. Please answer me!,
          signing off,

    • Hail Kurogane,

      Holy HOLY water. This j-strength stuff is pretty serious business. No wonder it’s so hard to find.


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