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Starbucks is fighting a supernatural situation this week serving up apologies and holy water to ward off a foamy supernatural symbol scandal fomented by a devilish barista. Don’t be caught in the CROSS-fire, read on.
The rumours began when Catholic coffee lover Megan Pinion from Louisiana, USA found these supernatural symbols in her coffee foam and grew with shocking revelations from customers around the world that the company has been serving up holy water charged with shocking powers.
“We have reached out to Megan on social media to apologize,” stated Starbucks when the supernatural symbol story broke. “We would also like to apologize to the witch and the demon who likely received crosses by mistake and urge everybody who receives any unwanted supernatural symbols in their coffee to turn them upside down before drinking.”
While the identity of the demonized barista has not been revealed, the story has fuelled speculation that Starbucks has been secretly slinging a supernatural situation with coffee foam and holy water.
Holy water? That’s right. Some time before Megan Pinion found her foam hexed with a pentagram and the number of the beast, Starbucks survivor Greg Allbright discovered that every plain glass of water you order at Starbucks (no ice, no straw) delivers a series of holy shocks.
Allbright first noticed the situation drinking Starbucks special triple-filtered water during a supernaturally boring business meeting at his local coffee shop when the liquid delivered a series of strong zaps to his face and lips. After he started blogging about it, customers from around the world came forward to reveal the same shocking situation happening to them and/or people they know.
While Allbright suspects a simple electrical charge may be responsible, SOS immediately identified a clear link between the two shocking stories. I personally sent a sample of this special triple-filtered shock water to an official online holy water provider for assessment. The result came back 99.98% positive for the presence of blessed holy ions, making it official – Starbucks is now serving holy water with a powerful charge.
As Starbucks has yet to comment on the supernatural situation evolving within its stores or divulge the nature of its secret holy triple-filtering system – father, son and holy ghost anyone? – Survivors of every persuasion are advised to check both foam and water before drinking and to turn all cups three times (counterclockwise) for good measure. It’s not clear yet what effect drinking an unwanted supernatural symbol will have on a drinker but the holy water taken alone delivers a series of zaps to your face and lips, roughly the equivalent of a nine-volt battery. While not necessarily a bad sign – indeed this is likely a sign the holy water is working – the effect can be shocking or even dangerous to the wrong being and likely indicates that you are or somebody you know is part vampire or demon.
And nobody – including me at this point – knows yet what will happen if you drink a 666 latte simultaneous with a grande glass of holy water or alternate sips of each, so take heed! You could find a holy war – or worse – in your belly.
That said, Starbucks triple-filtered water is a generous offer for anyone who needs to stock up on holy water. It’s a holy charge the company offers free of charge to customers. Just make sure to ask for it without ice and use it without the straw for best results.
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
I heard about this on tumblr. Hey Seth,have you ever gotten plain water from Starbucks before?
Lilith can we talk about my last comment over coffee?
RB
Of course, what have you need of?
Lilith, i need only an answer, the answer to the only question I’ve had in hundreds of years, who am I?
And if what you say is true, about hecate, why did you abandon me, i was an outcast Lilith, i was shunned by my own family, i was a freak… 😥
RB
Yes, but did you not take retribution upon all those who had wronged you?
Sweet Noah, the Queen of Hell could never take a child –a mortal child, think of the implications, all the enemies I had. I knew that the best thing for you, rather than be cursed with a monster for a mother, was to grow up around others of your kind. I was always there. Watching from a distance. How do you think Elto, the bully, ended up blind and crippled?
Who do you think nudged the coven to seek you out?
My child, life is not often easy, but we are dealt our hands and we must play are cards, whether we like it or not. But
True I sought retribution, but nothing could fill the void that was caused, I learned that the hard way, I used my gifts given to me by you for selfish desires ultimately sending me here, our was I bound here from the get-go?
You say people like us…
I will ask again, who am I?
Truly…
RB
And more yet, if you were to give me away, why sacrifice a peice of yourself to create me, why purpose does my existance even serve!!!
RB
To fill MY void! To satiate MY thirst! Can’t you see? There’s nothing left inside my soul…
You’ve no idea what it is like to watch your child run and play and cry and grow, knowing that the only way to keep them safe was stay out of their life.
It was all for you, one of the few things I could ever love, my darling. You think I knew you would be like the children of Adam & Eve? It was Hecate she tricked me!
Your right, I don’t know what it’s like, but one feeling I do know well is that of revenge, I know it will be of no avail to fill my void with more of it, but it’s just in my nature, look out Hecate, I’m comeing for you…
RB
You will die before the tree facing the threefold aspects of the twilight lady. If you seek her out with violent intentions.
Perhaps both of you should learn that hate leads to more hate. Learn how to cry again and laugh and love. For the strongest stone will shatter and break, but the wind and wave are endless.
I’d cry if I could I’d laugh if I could, all I ever wanted was to feel human emotions, but all I feel is revenge, and as that is the one feeling I have left I must act upon it, whatever the cost may be…
RB
Noah, you must not. You can not. Hecate is a being of unimaginable power and authority. The Matron of Earth alone has the potential to wipe us from existence, never mind the Queen of the Heavens and the Crone, her Chthonic Majesty. Fear not, my child, for soon the Great Work will be complete.
What is your purpose? What aim are you trying to achieve? Your involvement was not foreseen.
Then what can I do, I was never part of gods plan…
I have no purpose, i am an out of place gear in the clock work of the universe, but I’m part of my own plan now, what would you suggest I do?
RB
I can’t believe I’m saying this but I agree. Hecate is on a level of her own when it comes to Power. Your plans for vengeance are suicidal at the very best.
She’s not at her own level, she’s a mid level eldar. Odin, Andrastre, and I out power her. She simply has enhanced foresight. She can predict every move you make therefore she can counter them.
Fenir, that is why reaper left…
That’s really all I’m going to say about that…
RB
An eldar? No, I’m not one of them silly Fenris 😛
I’m really that awesome??? Even if I am, I still suck at using so many magics 😥
You guys don’t have to worry about me haha
People like us, we need not play by His rules…
Those are bad symbols seth, Demon signs. I am displeased with them, some mortal is tampering with things they don’t understand.
Best way to describe this situation is a quote
“He called on a god he didn’t believe in and now it’s come to claim him.”
You should note that Starbucks logo is a twin tailed mermaid.
Actually the pentagram isn’t demonic in origins. It can actually be traced back to the seal of Solomon. It’s meant to be a warding symbol, and although it can be used to help raise demons, it also contains them, making its alliance seraphic
A pentacle is demonic though, An inverted star within a circle is symbolic of a goat’s head. The devil’s head.
With all due respect….. WHAT have you been smoking?? The Devil does not have the head of a goat!
And for the last post before my Hiatus, I am going to insult Fenrir because he is the main reason I’m going on a holiday. Respect? Respect?! Ha! The guy makes it so only he can answer any questions about the Demigods, decides when and where people are wrong because you know, he’s got to be the smartest person here. The guy isn’t due respect, he’s due a swift kick to his hubris. I’m sorry to say this Fenrir, but I can’t handle you anymore. Not at all.
He does often in depictions of him. I am only repeating common knowledge, I was at the inquisitions. A goat is a symbol for the Dark One. Crom, Satan, Baalzamon, it doesn’t matter what name you call him by they’re all the same person. As for Solomon’s seal it was a six pointed star in the oldest stories. A different sign entirely.
And reaper I did no such thing, I have no interest in puny demigods whatsoever. As for my being the smartest person here, I just try harder than the rest of you. I too am going. I will still check my profile of Lupine life though. I have given up on you and humanity as well. May the light shelter you, so that I do not have to.
The pentagram is nota demon sign, the devil does not have the head of a goat -.-
I should know, the Yin legend (or is she yang? I never remember) has a sister, the Ice Legend, and the Ice Legend gad a run-in with him I guess. He takes the shape of your worst fear.
Besides, I was always taught the pentagram repsented the four elements and spirit, and if upside down it meant curiousity, not a goat!
Hail Mad Sparkles,
Thanks for stopping by to point that out and I suppose that’s why drinking one upside down is good for you. I know that’s what I intend to do if I get one in my next latte. In fact I might just make one myself so I can try. Incidentally, Msuprise was wondering if you could share a couple of quick and easy magic secrets. She read a comment you made about magic being easy. It’s linked to the front page but I’ll link it again HERE…
Thanks for keeping on,
Seth
I wonder if these chicken drank that coffee…
😈 😈 😈
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0101/chickens.html
RB
Hey soooo, I thought I’d give you guys a heads up. The reason I’ve been inactive lately, is because I don’t think I can handle this anymore. Everyone has to be ten times more powerful, and become a god or some random stuff like that. When I first came to the site, it was more of a place where you could get and give help to the wayward werewolf, or the marine mermaid. Now it’s just about 1 upping each other and trying to prove who’s the smartest. I’ll probably come back, but for now I’m going on a hiatus. Sorry. 😐
Later, but you know reaper, you can’t be counted as an exception, apocoliptic horseman
Anyways well miss ya and all of that mushy tuff I guess, but the site will just have to be 20 percent less funny while your gone…
RB
I did that because I got caught up into it too. I never meant I was the exception, I forgot to type that I had done this myself. But no, no more. I’m leaving until further notice. If you want to contact me, send it through the Hatter.
I know them feels, so I just step back from that stuff and when someone claims to be more powerful then me, I simply shrug it off. Honostly, I don’t feel like holding a contest to see who can create the bigger creators with their power, so I just try to stay away from who is stonger contests.
Hey mad.sparkles my favourite legend(that has a profile on the site) it’s been a while tell us the story of what’s been happening with you, all that happened with me was my adding MT to the end of my tag name
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meow
meow
meow
Ok I will do that one thing but you have to promise it’s not going to end up another Atlanta fiasco and that you will leave as soon as things happen the way they should i can’t say exactly where I am but I can say that if you can get to the reapers email through Noah’s then find any emails ending in “your good friend hatter” then reroute that email address name through Facebook you can find my house pretty easily to a degree of fault
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meow
meow
meow
Well played Penelope, well played oh and you really should stay indoors (the back door is unlocked)I hope Noah comes back soon though
Oh gee? A story? Eh… Nightmares.
Is Jeff the Killer real? If so, I need to sleep next to a weapon. If the guy os real he needs to stay out of my dreams and stop threatening me in my dreams!
How bout you?
Nothing much with me, oh and yes Jeff is real and also apparently singing songs from Christmas movies in Irish Gaelic makes you a criminal if you do it near a government building
Weird laws. Welp, that explains why my dream catcher isn’t working. That or I need to clean it…
Clean it dude, it’s safer to Clean it.
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Meow
Meow
Meow
Not the one upping I mean, the god modding
RB
Hail The Reaper,
Thanks for stopping by. Survival’s a slog sometimes and sometimes we all have to go underground to regroup – even me. It’s entirely expected and okay. Come back full of adventures and advice whenever it’s safe for you again.
Seth