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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

Seth

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Singularity Now Surrender to the Satellites

A dire warning appeared around the globe today, the satellites surrounding the earth have reached saturation, let the singularity begin.

Is this the beginning?

Is this the beginning?

The singularity as survivors are aware, is loosely defined as the point of technological progress at which our technology officially becomes smarter than us and the result is freaky and bad.

(I mean ALL of us. Not just your grandpa who officially gave up on his cell phone last year.)

The date for this auspicious event, originally predicted for 2045, has been moving ever closer, until at the last Singularity Summit, the clock was set to the year 2017.

But as this info-graphic warning clearly shows, the satellites have us surrounded and it’s only a matter of days before they take over.

The info-graphic was issued by a mysterious company calling itself Extreme Networks with an oddly incomprehensible website on which they claim to want to make, “an extreme difference in the world.” Their warning, clearly implied is simple – we control Skynet, surrender now.

Are these the claims of an overly confident communications company trying to scare up their stock price with big talk? Or is this the day my cell phone enslaves me to the refrigerator and Graham finally succeeds in uploading himself for all eternity?

I’m looking into that today. Until we know more, survivors are advised to unplug after reviewing singularity survival tips.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

56 comments to Singularity Now Surrender to the Satellites

  • I KNEW MY IPHONE WAS TRYING TO KILL ME! Great, and I just downloaded a new game and song… Wait… Our worst fears have been realized! The SOS supercomputer is coming to life! Guess I should let Squatch know to stay away from the fridge… Hm… Then to decide my fate, Blue Pill, or Red Pill…Oh, orders from up top… Gotta hang around… Sierra Condor? Oh wait, Sarah Connor. Now I get it. OMG I ALWAYS KNEW BEING REAPER TO THE STARS WOULD COME BACK TO HAUNT ME!

  • Kenji Genpachirou

    I’m back again! I’m sorry I wasn’t there for some time. I have been chosen to attend some sort of Monstrology Boarding School. No clue where I am, but their WiFi is very unstable. That’s why I couldn’t post anything. Their WiFi only works when there is a class… Very annoying. I’m not sure if I can post again very soon, but I did fix the WiFi a little, so I should be able to do so…
    Anyway… My friend’s in trouble. His phone is trying to communicate with him. It keeps ringing, but when he looks he sees that no one calls him. And then there’s this problem with my mentor… He has multiple perso- no, it’s more like… His body is being shared. His eye-colour changes when his other personality takes over. Kinda creepy, man… Although it’s also kinda funny.
    Well, class is about to start again… Hopefully, see you later.

    • Hatter/Janus/guardianR.S.

      Hey Kenji it feels like we haven’t seen you since last year

    • Hail Kenji

      First off, Welcome Back! How have you been besides this Monstrology Boarding School? As for your friends phone trying to communicate with him… Sounds to me like your friend is the first victim of singularity. Is he talking with an Austrian accent yet? Or maybe wearing a leather jacket and trying to take over California? If so, it’s very likely. As for your mentor… Is it possible he’s hosting some sort of god/goddess?

    • Hatter

      Better than what reaper said check his phone/your wi-fi connection if a random doctor who refference is correct you should find that there is a few wi-fi networks on the wi-fi options list for both objects being tested in a weird or unknown language and I’m very sorry if that is true because it means you were chosen and uploaded into “the data cloud” I’m sorry if this is all true but your gone/preserved and we won’t be able to get you back

      • That is unless Graham uploads himself into the internet, and becomes the king of all Wi-Fi. Then we might be able to convince him to eject Kenji’s consciousness out of Cyber Space, and using Google Earth to find my old war buddy Kzazier Vetenari. Do you remember the Cycle Hatter? No? Oh right, you weren’t there were Ye? Anyway, I’m off to mothers house. She and Chronos invited me for supper.

        • Hatter MT

          Actually I was a silent partner to the site and it’s development at the point that the cycle was an occurrence oh and try and sit on the far side from Saturn/chronos you might remember what he did to all his children other than Jupiter/Zeus. And another thing can we please stop playing the pronoun game and just say the name of someone when talking about them instead of calling them: mother, father, uncle, aunt, grandmother, or grandfather, for those of us who either haven’t been to Olympus in a while or want to be able to read the comments and understand what is going on. Oh and for those of us who just skim through the comments looking for someone to pester can you please say who mother is because the Olympian family tree gets confusing to look at

          • Nyx/Nox is who my mother is. And you aren’t kidding about the Olympian family tree, we still don’t know who’s son Pan is… We’ve narrowed it down to Zeus and Hermes because, let’s face facts, they both have plenty of free time with Goats. And I didn’t mean the titan, I meant the Primordial. I suppose I should have said Aion…

            • Hatter MT

              Spoiler alert Pans father is Hermes/mercury in fact if you look at the Greek story about peacock feathers Hermes/Mercury flat out tells argus that he is pans father. oh and you should still stay closer to Nyx than Kronos (Chronos adjusted for pronunciation) because of the thing with his kids/ the first six Greek gods

              • The Reaper

                The only thing that is wrong about what you said, I meant the Primordial god of time, not the Titan father of Zeus, Hades, Poseidon, and Hera.

                • Hatter MT

                  You do realize that in effect those two creatures are by name one in the same and as such I would have no proper way to reffer to the two as different creatures but then again why should one call them separate if they fall under the same name and ability oh and if your mother is Nyx who is your father?

        • Agent RB

          Hey reaper, old buddy, old pal 🙂

          You mind explaining this whole cycle thing to me, I’m a bit of a history buff, and for some reason I can’t find it in our archives, I hope you haven’t been tampering with it, that would be bad 🙂
          Verry bad 🙂

          RB

          • Hatter/Janus/guardianR.S.

            It wouldn’t be there because all scans or other observations have caused abnormal results so the reaper teams that would have figured out how it worked would have had results abnormal in appearance so they would scrap them and plus your organization would have if they ever did identify it would find that it’s existence was against the very religions recognized by it due to it being called: the first, the creator, the Eldar one, and “the disarmer”,

          • Let me explain it to you in the way I understand it. Kzazier Vetenari, SoTM first came to the site about… 2 months before I began posting, I was a long time member before, but I put it to use summertime last year. Anyway, when I came to the site Vetenari was dealing with this thing called the Cycle, he explained it like… Order, but in truth it was a force of destruction unlike any other. It caused such an uproar, everyone on this site, myself included, joined in the fray to find out how to stop/prevent/survive it. Thing is, we still don’t know fully. It could still come after us, if say… The Reaper Corps and the Guardians went to war. It would destroy the entire planet, just to stop the two forces from destroying everything. So far? We haven’t had much luck in finding out how to disarm/fight it. It’s still out there, but the thing is… We don’t have our resident Contali Space God anymore.

            • Agent RB

              Ah, I see, however, I must inform you that our science and forensics te is the best in the universe, they wouldn’t miss an important detail Ike that. Oh what am I talking about, or forensics team is cr@p…
              Anywho, the relations between reaper corps and the guardians appears to be quite stable, at least it appears that way…
              I’ll be doing a story book reading to the children who lost there homes in hurricane sandy, for some reason I always feel guilty after a major storm hits somewhere…

              RB/Noah

              • Hatter MT

                Your actually right Noah the relations between The Reaper Corps(e) and the guardian are in fact stable and your forensics team is composed of well people who seem to have broken a deal they made with rumple stiltskin or something equally bad/good and had to pass their time a bit so someone recruited them and they then lied to your face and got the job

                Oh and the feeling bad after a storm hits is probably (but not likely) because if what you say is true you pretty much drowned everyone but your family in a flood you caused.

              • Hatter MT

                Your actually right Noah the relations between The Reaper Corps(e) and the guardian are in fact stable and your forensics team is composed of well people who seem to have broken a deal they made with rumple stiltskin or something equally bad/good and had to pass their time a bit so someone recruited them and they then lied to your face and got the job

                Oh and the feeling bad after a storm hits is probably (but not likely) because if what you say is true you pretty much drowned everyone but your family in a flood you caused.

    • Agent RB

      Do i know you from somewhere ❓
      Im sorry if I’ve forgotten if I’ve met you or not, reaper can tell you, us trims tend to have our memory loss fits.

      RB

      ps sorry for the repost, i was trying to reply to Kenji

    • Hail Kenji,

      Thanks for checking in with this important SOS Report. I’m glad to hear you’re no longer holed up in your home fearing the other magic users on the hunt with their swords of light for the killer of their necromantic experiments. (Which incidentally, if you could get a hold of one of those swords, lots of survivors have been asking about them.)

      Do you think your friend been slated for upload as the survivors above suspect?

      Seth

  • Agent RB

    Do i know you from somewhere ❓
    Im sorry if I’ve forgotten if I’ve met you or not, reaper can tell you, us trims tend to have our memory loss fits.

    RB

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