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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

Seth

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Scatomancy Scam a Big Pile of Poo

A so-called scatomancer witch calling himself S.S. Singh is pushing a steaming pile of poo about his supposedly pungent power to tell the future and even do magic using human scat this week.

Steaming pile of psychic poo

Steaming pile of psychic poo

*Warning to anyone reading this before Thanksgiving dinner…  maybe don’t. 

The man in this photo claims to be a so-called scatomancer in a documentary out this week called “Journey to Planet Sanity,” but supernatural survivologists are calling bulli$h&t on his schtick after watching his so-called psychic shIz@ reading.

After kneeling in front of the full toilet, Mr. Singh reaches right into the toilet bowl and picks up one of the documentarian’s turds, holding it up to his nose and takes a big whiff.

“The stronger the aroma, the more accurate the prediction,” he declares.  Then after feeling and smelling the poo, the self-styled scatomancer advises the film maker to continue on his journey.

But Supernatural Survivologist Seth Greening called the reading a pile of steaming poo in an interview with WBEX.

“A traditional scatomancer would never lower himself to kneel over a toilet. In fact, a traditional scatomancer would not read human poo at all. They examine animal scat for clues about the past and upcoming years. Further, if Mr. Singh were a traditional scatomancer, he would have dried the turds outside in the sun until they became what scatomancers of yore referred to euphemistically as “magic beans.” Then he would have laid the magic beans on a grid for reading past, present and future or used them in a magic spell.” explained Seth help-ily.

“But the bottom line is, if Mr. Singh knew anything about scatomancy  at all, he would know that today modern scatomancers perform their art using test tubes, glass slides, latex gloves and microscope. And most if not all of them prefer the title of lab technician to scatomancer. Unless they are trying to impress a date, in which case many of them still have a pile of business cards with the title of Grand Scatomancer ready to give away.”

Scatomancers used dried poo or beans to tell the future.

Scatomancers of yore used dried poo or beans to tell the future.

 

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

8 comments to Scatomancy Scam a Big Pile of Poo

  • fenrir9

    WOW this site just got wierder

  • Hatter

    This seems like a pile of s#%^ and yes I did censor the swearing myself and your right fenrir

  • Kzazrier Vetanari

    I am sorry to tell you this, but I have to leave.
    Right now.
    Sentinel left this realm and is causing some problems in a different realm.
    That realm is very, very, very far away, which means I cannot help other survivors here.
    However…
    There’s a human around here, and…
    Well…
    He’s interesting…
    I’ll change my body so we look alike.
    Just because I feel like it…
    Goodbye, my friends.
    I plan on returning when all the problems have been sorted out, but I might not be able to return.
    Maybe I won’t be able to go back for ages.
    Maybe I can go back after a week.
    I cannot know that.
    Hell, maybe I can’t go back at all…
    Anyway, I want all of you to survive.
    That is why I gave the human some powers.
    That is why I will take Cycle and all the Sentinels with me.
    And that is why I warn you, don’t underestimate Area 51.
    Goodbye, I will miss all of you.
    Hallen’da,
    Kzazrier Vetanari

    • Hatter

      I’ll send you a hat be fore you leave but unfortunately it only goes to this dimension

    • Kenji Genpachirou

      Grrr….. You copied me!!!!! Why did you do that! Not nice not nice not nice! Gotta take notes… Note 1: do not trust guys who hit you with a bottle o’ whisky, put some weird sparkles in your face and then say weird stuff… I think spells. But… WHY THE SPARKLES?!??!? WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THE SPARKLES?!??!? Seriously… AAAANYWAAAY…….. I’ma just….. Do some more research… Why did he open this site on my computer anyway… Meh, I don’t care.

      • Hatter

        As the local therapist and hat maker I can send you a hat that will take you where you need to go but what ever you do don’t try and jump though the mirror in the hall of realities (the kind of room I guess in the hats) it just sends you to wonderland the third weirdest place you will ever encounter. As well I can you WTH is wrong with the person your talking to so yeah and the sparkles were kind of well magyk and I will always spell magyk M-A-G-Y-K in case you wanted to know

    • Alex

      Looks like an anime Tom Baker.

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