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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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Ready At Rainbows End Leprechaun Survival Lessons From The Saddle Ridge Hoard

March is the month to reach a rainbow’s end and find some buried treasure but before you leap into leprechaun season take a tip or two from the experience of the Saddle Ridge Hoard finders, “John and Mary” who found ten million worth of gold coins in tin cans on their property and now risk losing it all back to leprechauns.

Ten million worth of gold coins found in rusty tin cans.

Ten million worth of gold coins found in rusty tin cans.

You probably know the story of John and Mary whose dog sniffed out a leprechaun trove of gold buried in rusty tins on their California property around this time of year.

Deeply disappointed to find no leprechaun, the dog quickly lost interest in the find while John and Mary realized immediately the danger of their discovery and levied many leprechaun security measures.

Today let’s take a look at these security measures and evalulate what John and Mary did right and wrong so you can be rainbow’s end ready for the March madness.

1. Don’t be Fooled By A Rusty Tin Can

That rusty can does not equal long forgotten. Make no mistake, if you are looking for or have found buried treasure, there is a leprechaun – maybe two – looking for you.  Sure we all know how old leprechauns like Forrest Fenn will forget exactly where they stashed their cash but they will never, ever forget to look for it. And look for it they do, in ingenious and devious ways.

Furthermore, most modern leprechauns use rust as a security measure. A little oxidization, dirt and decay on a container ensures that even the most valuable treasure can be hidden in plain sight. John and Mary say the treasure on their property was buried there in the 19th Century which matches the dates on the coins – but then why are they refusing to allow forensic analysis on the tin cans?

I’ll tell you why. Fear of Leprechauns who will use the info to claim the cash. In this case entirely justified and well handled. ✔

2. Bring Your Dog

Two reasons for this. One, dogs love leprechauns. They’re small and quick and give the best games of chase. Two, leprechauns generally hate dogs. Even if your dog can’t help you sniff out the gold like John and Mary’s dog did, when you do find it, he will keep away the leprechaun who is also looking for it and/or in the process of stashing it, for long enough at least you can unearth it all and drag it away.

Good move John and Mary. ✔✔

3. Never Reveal Your Real Name

The problem is this. Unless the stash you find is current cash – an unlikely scenario as leprechauns traditionally prefer gold – you will have to sell your haul on the open market. This means going public with your find but like Mary and John, don’t use your real name. Just as knowing a leprechaun’s real name can give you power over him or her, them knowing your real name gives them same.

So good job John and Mary or whatever your names really are, for immediately hiring a lawyer who is a trusted family friend to deal with taking your find public. ✔✔✔

Is David Hall really Walter Dimmick?

Is David Hall really Walter Dimmick?

4. Stay Away From Numismatists

You know what rhymes with “numismatist?” Yeah, that’s right hypnotist. Your numismatist probably won’t tell you how long he or she has also studied that gray art. Numismatist is really just another word for leprechaun. Oh they claim to be respected historical money-ologists who will help you sell your stash for a cut of the cash but put that together and everyone knows the truth. It’s a legal way for a leprechaun to reclaim their horde. And explains why numismatist is actually the number two cover “career” for a leprechauns after locksmith.

And this is where our John and Mary really fell down.  ✖ 

The couple have contacted and entrusted, not one but several numismatists, while more and more of them are circling the hoard everyday now.

John and Mary should have clued in when their numismatist Donald Kagin issued a statement saying, “They found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.”

Now competing numismatists aka: organized leprechuans are coming out of the word work to lay claim they know the origin of the hoard, including one very suspicious seeming numismatist who looks a lot like the one who first stole it and stashed it, a leprechaun who went by the name of Walter Dimmick in the 19th Century when he worked for the Federal Mint (below).

Is the Saddle Ridge Hoard really Walter Dimmick's stolen gold?

Is the Saddle Ridge Hoard really Walter Dimmick’s stolen gold?

Is Walter Dimmick back for his hoard and out to retrieve it the legal way as a so-called numismatist? Time will tell.

Meanwhile,  please don’t let this stop you from following your own rainbows. There may not be a tin of gold at the end of every last one of them and you won’t always get to the right end at the right time and you may have to deal with a gold-crazed leprechaun –  but at least now you’ll be ready.

Click here for more tips on dealing with leprechauns. 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

27 comments to Ready At Rainbows End Leprechaun Survival Lessons From The Saddle Ridge Hoard

  • Hecate

    Eris stood before the Black Gates, colossal ebony doors to the Underworld, a statue of a massive three-headed beast behind her. A black endless fog was behind her as well, the space between worlds, the Gates perceived, for now, only her as a threat, it would seem, thus keeping her out. Kerberos had been little more than an inconvenience, just a modified Hellhound, really. She ran her fingers across the glossy service of the Gates, bright shining white cracks began to form along the surface, entropy causing the gates to slowly fall apart, the grin on her ever changing face faltered as the white cracks gave way to ebony, the cracks sealing up as the Gates restored order.
    “Tch,” she sighed. She blew in her hand and a silver dust flew up, she whispered a few words and the dust shot out into the Void. A bolt of arcane energy shot back, hitting her directly in the throat. It burned like hell and Eris doubled over in pain. She looked up towards the Void and a figure walked out. A statuesque woman stood at 6’2 on high heels, she wore a lady’s black suit thrown together with a skirt, her makeup made her bright eyes standout, further accentuated by her red hair, her skin milky and flawless. “What the hell? Lilith?”
    “Nay,” the woman spoke. “The demon queen is but a pretender, for there is only one Hecate.” Eris’ form shifted wildly at the name, but in each face she held there was horror. She became light and energy and shot straight up in a desperate bid to escape. Hecate but raised a hand and the Scion of Chaos was contained within a bubble, her form stabilizing.
    “Impossible! I am an unstoppable force! Chaos can never be contained!” Hecate smiled, and her form flickered, her teeth now crooked and stained. Her face ripe with wrinkles and liver spots, her outstretched hand now thin and aged. She wore dirty black robes and an oversized hat a classical witch would wear, hiding her now thinning and white hair. Her back hunched and feeble looking.
    “It matters not to Hecate. I tolerated your existence but the moment you tried to lay a finger on the land of dea d” she wheezed. “The wrath of the key-bearing Queen of all the Cosmos was upon you. Go now, sweetling, return to the Chaos. Return to yourself.” Two women walked out of the Crone, one the matron seen moments ago and a girl who couldn’t be a day older than twenty, her ginger hair dyed a defiant red, wearing a white summer dress. The triad levitated and surrounded the helpless Goddess of Chaos, flying around, and around, and around, each chanting arcane hymns, binding the unbindable personification of discord. Blue sparks flew from their finger tips, the Maiden held a knife, the Mother held a lantern, and the Crone a key.
    “I will return! I swear it,” Eris paused. “Or not…” Chaos Incarnate was wretched from the goddess’ body and flung back into the void, once again apart of it. Through that a scream was heard “OH C’MON I JUST GOT HERE”
    “Be no longer terrorized by Chaos, survivors,” spoke the Maiden, the other two sisters having disappeared. “It is good that I acted before the destruction of Wisconsin, lest the sleeping abominations there take Earth back for their own.”

    • Lilith

      Oh, well, this is awkward

    • Agent RB

      No, DEUS, cui próprium est miseréri semper et párcere: súscipe deprecatiónem nostram; ut hunc fámulum tuum, quem (hanc fámulam tuam, quam) delictórum caténa constríngit, miserátio tuæ pietátis cleménter absólvat.

      DÓMINE sancte, Pater omnípotens, ætérne Deus, Pater Dómini nostri Jesu Christi, qui illum réfugam tyránnum et apóstatam gehénnae ígnibus deputásti, quique Unigénitum tuum in hunc mundum misísti, ut illum rugiéntem contéret: velóciter atténdem accélera, ut erípias hóminem ad imáginem et similitúdinem tuam creátum, a ruína et dæmónio meridiáno. Da, Dómine, terrórem tuum super béstiam, quæ extérminat vineam tuam. Da fidúciam servis tuis contra nequíssimum dracónem pugnáre fortíssime, ne contémnat sperántes in te, et ne dicat, sicut in Pharaóne, qui jam dixit: Deum non novi, nec Israël dimítto. Urgeat illum déxtera tua potens discédere a fámulo tuo N. (a fámula tua N.) +, ne diútius præsúmat captívum tenére, quem tu ad imáginem tuam fácere dignátus es, et in Fílio tuo redemísti: Qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitáte Spíritus Sancti Deus, per ómnia sæcula sæculórum.

      Amen.
      Deinde praecipiat daemoni hunc in modum:

      PRAECÍPIO tibi, quicúmque es, spíritus immúnde, et ómnibus sóciis tuis hunc dei fámulum (hanc dei fámulam) obsidéntibus: ut per mystéria incarnatiónis, passiónis, resurrectiónis et ascensiónis Dómini nostri Jesu Christi, per missiónem Spíritus Sancti, et per advéntum ejúsdem Dómini nostri ad judicium, dicas mihi nomen tuum, die et horam éxitus tui, cum áliquo signo: et ut mihi Dei minístro licet indígno, prorsus in ómnibus obédias: neque hanc creatúram Dei, vel circunstántes, aut eórum bona ullo modo offéndas.

      Deinde legantur super obsessum haec Evangelis, vel saltem unum.

  • Fenrir Ulfangr

    Hail. Lady Hecate, maiden, matron, clone. If you are truly who you say you shall know me by my name. I know all Hecate’s names so test me if you wish. But I assure you I am real.

  • Hecate

    Oh your that doggy– ahem, wolf that made winter! It’s great to meet you! I’m Hellen, the Maiden, the Queen that Shall Be, or something like that. *curtsies*

    • Fenrir Ulfangr

      I’m a little bit more than a big puppy. I am older than Olympus afterall. I believe the Greeks called me Noios, Titan of intelect.
      Anyway nice to see you, though last time you were very close with Odin.

  • Hecate

    Odin? Odin, Odin, Odin… Not ringing a bell… Maybe you’re thinking of Mother, the Queen that Is? She’s always busy, its actually kind of depressing…
    But I was never really into the whole Greek thingie, I just know that we were incorporated into their stories after Atlantis fell… and, uh, yeah :mrgreen:
    I know Uncle J from outside that whole Greek/Roman thing though

    • Hecate

      Ohhhhhhhh, you mean Wotan? That’s just the name I think of~
      To clarify the really smart one-eyed king of the Aesir?

    • Janus

      I said to call me Janus, I am the Greek/roman god of choices and doorways I am depicted in statues as having two faces despite the in accuracy of this call me Janus or I will complain about this to Zeus/Jupiter.

      • Hecate

        Teehee, the only person who scares me is Grammy… All those spankings… and the wooden spoon… Okay I’m done Janus

      • Ahem, okay Janice. Let’s be nice to Hecate. I, Thanatos, Guardian of the Gates, demand it.

        • Janus

          NUS, Ja-Nus is it really that hard to say I mean come on, oh and by the way since I’m the god of doorways I have by extension power over doors/gates thus I am of greater power than you good night

        • Hecate

          And Mother does so appreciate what you do to safeguard the borders between Earth and the Otherworlds~

          • Janus

            Ok I feel like I should remember the person you keep calling mother but I keep forgetting

            • Hecate

              You know; Mother. She is the Queen that Is. The Mother part of the Maiden, Mother, Crone thing. I don’t really get it yet, I’m still just the Maiden. We’re like the same person or something but like at the same time she is my Mother and Grammy is hers. Something about trinity, it makes my head hurt 🙄

              • Fenrir Ulfangr

                A triple goddess in the old myth. One of several, another one was Morrigan. But she’s a stupid old crow. It’s rather interesting how you are divided. I have many aspects but we are all in one form, where as you have only three aspects, but also three separate forms.

                • Hecate

                  I know its so weird we’re simultaneously sisters, they’re my Mom and Grammy, we’re the same person, separate people, I try not to think too much about it… I’ve met some people in similar situations, like auntie Lily when she posed as Hecate in the Greek Pantheon to establish us as an influence among humans, she like divided herself or something. I forget what its called when aspects merge back into one person to form singularity, like, gestalt I think? I think Janus can do it too

                  • Hatter/Janus/guardianR.S.

                    No I’m one entity/form just I have gathered names over time I will always reply to old names if you call me by them but I’m only one god/man/creature

  • Lilith

    Hecate, an entity so powerful that undivided she could hold all the shining heavens and all the burning hells at bay.
    She is our salvation.
    She is our destruction.

  • luckily i have a 2 year old boxer dog who isnt that good of a guard dog but still is a guard dog that scares the crap out of a lot of ppl coming to my grandma’s house like those door to door ads ppl and the missionaries even though that dog doesnt hurt anything but rodents arachnids and insects

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