Of Money and Mermish – The Mermaid Tail Trade

A grisly TAIL this week from Garden Street, USA a seven year-old girl on a desperate quest to become a mermaid tries to buy a mermaid tail, and reveals the murky underwater world of the mermaid tail transplant trade.

Residents of Garden Street woke up to this note on a street pole from a 7 year-old mermaid wannabe who thought she could swim, walk and babysit her way to achieving her dream of becoming a mermaid by buying a mermaid tale transplant.

The Internet reacted immediately. What kind of sick seven year old wants an amputated mermaid tail?

Is high unemployment and the current Hire-A-Mermaid craze making an underwater trade in black market mermaid tail transplants?

“What are we supposed to do,” said one girl who admitted she is saving up for a mermaid tail transplant too. “Times are tough and mermaids get all the good jobs now.”

I immediately alerted Mermaids for Hire about the situation, only to discover the dark truth about this company. They employ several mermaids who themselves bought a transplanted tail to make the transformation from human to mermaid.

According to mermaid Linden Wolbert, a mermaid tail sells for around 15,000 dollars. She sent me this shocking photo of a mermaid tail transplant in progress:

If you know any mermaids or you are one yourself, don’t let this happen to you!
Keep that tale under wraps! Do not reveal your Mermish status to people you don’t know.
Beware of anyone with an open drink, who could be a tail hunter. Why else would he be wandering around with an uncovered drink in hand?
In fact, avoid any social situations where liquid is likely to fly! Remember just a single drop in at the wrong time can find you flopping in the middle of the party.
Please alert the site if you see any suspicious activity in your neighbourhood.
Do NOT be fooled into becoming a so-called tail donor. This is not minor surgery here. Your tail will NOT grow back. In fact, you will find yourself without human legs when you transform back to human form.