Strange news from Moscow, planet Earth today. The six-man Mars 500 mission crew returned safely to earth after a 520 day round trip to the red planet, only to discover everybody on earth pretending they never even left.
“Simulation my a$%! I did not endure 520 days of Yue Wang’s lectures about hand-washing hygiene to go down in history as a “simulated” astronaut,” ranted Italian astronaut Diego Urbina. “Do I sound like a simulated astronaut to you?”
To prove his point, Diego offered to really punch me right in the head – an offer I declined. But I did promise to reveal the truth about his mission, that it was a very grueling, very real mission.
“Think about it. I’m an engineer, not an actor. Where are the martian soil samples we took? If that’s not real, why won’t they produce them? And what about our hair? That’s not simulated radiation-induced hair loss – that’s real. ”
But why would the Russian Institute for Biomedical Problems devise this elaborate ruse to convince the world that the Mars 500 crew never even left the earth?
“It’s the Kremlin. What do you expect? The truth?” laughed Mars 500 crew member, Russian Alexy Sitev.
“A lot of people still think the Apollo moon landing was faked,” pointed out another crew member, Roman Charles. “Maybe a simulated simulation is their way of ensuring the media gets the story right this time.”
But is it just clever PR? Or a massive cover-up to prevent a mad rush for Mars? To give Russia and the EU a chance to exploit Martian minerals without regulation before the cat’s out of the bag? Keep on keeping on to find out!
Cool info please.
Hail TK,
The post has been updated with new info for you.
Keep on keeping on.
Seth
It was a fake.
I’ve been to several trips to Moscow, one of the trips being to rescue my birthparents…. In vain of course. 🙁
But I happen to know Diego’s scent, and very early do I make mistakes in this sort of thing.
If he wants to punch a giant metal dragon… Then he call my name three times.
Also Seth, thanks for the birthday card and sasauge bus survival tips.
Hail Zyboragon,
You’re welcome!
Keep on keeping on.
Seth
Sausage*
Typing a little fast there. Also slightly dizzy.
Also Rarely* iPhone autocorrected it and turned into early for some reason.
Nice save Zyborg
Anyways Seth quick question! Zyborg first showed me this site/app back in Augest and it said zombie month then and now its November, so my question is when does zombie month end?
Also it bugs me that Zyboragon knows your real name and won’t tell me.
Hail Enigma,
Well first of double thanks to Zyborg/Zyboragon for showing you the site/app and for also not revealing my secret identity. It is a dangerous world that we live in and it is important that we all protect our identities here on the site (and everywhere else online for that matter). So it’s very important that only trustworthy individuals ever learn your true identity.
Traditionally November is Zombie Month here at Seth On Survival but I keep the Zombie Month videos up all year long because zombies are such a significant threat to survival. As to when Zombie Month will end, I guess it will end whenever zombies stop being one of the the most pressing dangers to survival.
Speaking of which I am going to have a new (non-zombie) video soon. Well soonish any ways… I’ll keep you (and everyone else) posted when it’s ready.
Keep on keeping on.
Seth