Lizard Man Returns to Town After Ten Years

South Carolina town happy to see him but has Lizard Man reverted to his former feral ways? 

As Bishopville officials celebrate the return of their beloved Lizard Man this week after his unexplained ten year absence from the community, local historians urge a return to caution.

“Until we know what happened to Lizard Man during his long absence, we can’t assume he is still the peaceful reptilian hybrid who left his swamp in 2005 or if he has reverted back to his rage-filled car-crunching, cat-eating early days,” says renowned supernatural survivologist Professor Dominic Van Buren who urges humans to stay away from the shores of Scape Ore Swamp until the truth can be determined.

The Bishopsville townsfolk however do not appear to be heeding Van Buren’s warnings. Town officials are already planning to resurrect Lizardstock Live, the largest Reptilian Rock Festival in the Southern USA.

“My hand to God, I am not making this up!” writes church lady Sarah who snapped this photo of the 7 foot-tall red-eyed scaly humanoid on Sunday. “I am so excited!”

But even as the town celebrates the return of their cool cryptid,  rumours continue to circulate about his long and unexplained absence from his home swamp and community.

The last time anyone saw Lizard Man was in 2005. After starring in a series of TV commercials, he was spotted for the last time… but he was not alone. Specifically, he was spotted in the presence of another reptilian humanoid, who was surely, the town surmised, his new leading Lizard Lady.

The Lizard Love theory made sense to everyone. Certainly it wouldn’t be the first time a scaly, half-human found love after becoming famous. So the town gave the couple some swamp space.

But when spring rolled around again, bringing with it another busy tourist season in Bishopville, the shores of Scape Ore Swamp remained empty. The Lizard Man and his Lady had left the building.

What followed was ten long years of false reports and the occasional, mysterious 3-toed footprints around the world.

“Think about it. He’s back again. Alone. In Bishopsville, South Carolina. Ask anyone who has been through a divorce. Or three, like me. Does anyone really believe that the Lizard Man is happy about this situation?” said Professor Van Buren.

“If you believe that then I have some swampland in South Carolina I could sell you…”

Van Buren remembers vividly the bad old days when Lizard Man first appeared after a meteorite first hit Scape Ore Swamp in the summer of 1988. Back in the days when beloved pets began disappearing and drivers reported collisions with a giant, angry reptile on the road.

“I’m not saying this is absolutely 100% going to happen again now,” he stated. “But this is absolutely, 100% going to happen again.”