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You are here: Home / Survival News / Humans Get Down On Knees And Beg NOW Advises Bill Gates

Humans Get Down On Knees And Beg NOW Advises Bill Gates

March 21, 2014 By Seth 57 Comments

A Bill Gates interview controversy continues after he advises humans to quote, get on their knees and beg businesses to keep humans employed, unquote, as outraged humans with aching articulations hire protest bots to get started while awaiting their cybernetic legs.

Will humans use robots to protest losing jobs to robots?
Will Emigilio keep his job as a robot protester?

Famous Microsoft founder Bill Gates stated in an interview that robots are steadily replacing most humans on the job, everywhere, even places you wouldn’t expect, “from accountants to real estate agents and commercial pilots.”

(You can read an account of that Bill Gates interview here). 

But humans who heard his message to get down on their knees and beg this week are begging to differ.

“Human knees are terrible at begging,” stated one anonymous articularly-challenged underemployed human who heard Bill Gates’ advice. “Can’t we just get a robot to do that?”

“After a certain age – and it’s pretty young –  human knee joints just begin break down, making begging difficult if not impossible for most people,” the human explained.

Will cybernetic Leg designed by Aron McBride help humans beg for their jobs?
Will cybernetic leg designed by Aron McBride help humans beg for their jobs?

“Why do you think hominids stood upright to begin with? Duh. Sore joints!”he added, noting that he himself suffers terribly from a condition known as chronic chondromalacia virtually every time the kitty litter needs changing.

Rising – or dropping – to Bill Gate’s challenge, other humans have responded by developing protest robots like this one named Emigilio made by Randy Sarafan.

“It might work,” commented the human. “Emigilio is knee height.” He added that a robot might also have more success convincing another robot to give up his job than a mere human.

However, humans not convinced by Emigilio are looking instead to cyborg technology like this to facilitate better begging.

“Oh yeah! That’s more like it,” said the human who is totally not actually really me interviewing me. “With a knee like that you wouldn’t have to beg for very long before you could just take over the whole universe.”

While Darth Vader may be the only human to have an awesome knee like this one so far, humans like me, er like this one totally anonymous human, are lining up now.

(And on a related note, does anyone else find it disturbing that Bill Gates would mention the total replacement of commercial pilots by robots just days after the Extreme Revolution was declared and Flight MH370 mysteriously disappeared?)

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Humans, robots, Singularity

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Agent RB says

    March 21, 2014 at 4:14 pm

    This is why both animals and robots are more advanced than people…

    *Isn’t that right Penelope*

    That’s also why I just bought a zoo in Michigan and invited all the animals to live with me in my home.
    God I miss having animals

    Yep, I am never going to regret this decision…
    Ever…

    *oh, Penelope, how would you like to be the supreme leader of all of our new friends?*

    RB

    Reply
    • Hatter/Janus/guardianR.S. says

      March 21, 2014 at 5:33 pm

      Umm RB you do know your talking to a cat/laptop and look insane right? And that is coming from the MAD hatter,

      Reply
      • Agent RB says

        March 21, 2014 at 5:55 pm

        Is it insane Penelope?

        Penelope says no, and Penelope is always right 🙂

        Isn’t that right Penelope…

        My new friends tell me that you are the insane one…

        RB

        Reply
        • Malachi4577 says

          March 21, 2014 at 6:52 pm

          Yeah I’m pretty sure your the crazy one

          Reply
          • Agent RB says

            March 21, 2014 at 7:15 pm

            No, everyone else is crazy except Penelope and I
            We are the only ones who deserve to rule the world
            Yesssssssss…..

            RB

            Reply
            • Hatter says

              March 21, 2014 at 8:19 pm

              Umm… RB by the mere fact that you are saying that everyone else is insane that makes that insanity the new sane and thus by that process you are in all manner of fact completely insane

              Reply
              • Agent RB says

                March 22, 2014 at 7:27 am

                Unless everyone else is Penelope except you, join us hatter, join us…

                RB

                Reply
                • Hatter says

                  March 22, 2014 at 8:54 am

                  You are seriously making me want to torch that cyber of yours just give Penelope here and I will take care of it, you know get it back to being a laptop then fix the software problem that makes it wanna take over your body, oh and by the way

                  010100000110010101101110011001010110110001101111011100000110010100100000011010010111001100100000011101000111001001111001011010010110111001100111001000000111010001101111001000000110101101101001011011000110110000100000011110010110111101110101001000000110010101110110011001010111001001111001001000000110111001101001011001110110100001110100001011100010000001001001011101000010011101110011001000000110011001110101011011100010000001110100011011110010000001110111011000010111010001100011011010000010000001110011011011110110110101100101011101000110100101101101011001010111001100100000

                  Reply
                  • Agent RB says

                    March 22, 2014 at 1:44 pm

                    Oh I see, can you fix the whole body takeing over thing without turning her back into a laptop, I’ve grown attached…
                    Oh and I had Penelope relay the message and she told me it said:

                    Penelope is trying to snuggle with you everynight but there is always an obstacle in her way. You should just go to sleep with her in your arm.

                    RB

                    Reply
                  • Agent RB says

                    March 22, 2014 at 2:15 pm

                    Penelope is trying to snuggle with you everynight but there is always an obstacle in her way. You should just go to sleep with her in your arm.

                    Is what Penelope just translated it to 🙂

                    I’ve grown to fond of her cat form to do that to her hatter 🙁

                    RB

                    Reply
                    • Hatter says

                      March 22, 2014 at 9:37 pm

                      Actually I said that she was trying to k1ll you in your sleep and that it’s fun to watch

        • The Reaper says

          March 21, 2014 at 7:05 pm

          I’m crazier than both of you combined! Isn’t that right disembodied skull of Shakespeare?

          *Help me, this guy has used me as a toilet ever since he got his flesh back..*

          HEY! THAT’S A SECRET! I oughta go get Mexican food right now… 👿

          *NOOOOOOOOOOOO!*

          Fine, I’ll start using Michael Jackson. Let me tell you guys, having the body of an 18 year old sucks. I have to go to school, I have to feed my bearded dragon (Lizard) I have to pretend Urban Squatch is my dad… I wish I had more Mexican food. o.0

          Reply
          • Agent RB says

            March 21, 2014 at 7:12 pm

            Wow, umm…
            Ok…
            I’ve got some flesh eating insects from South America if you want them.
            They were part of the zoo animals stock…
            Anyway, I can hear Penelope’s thoughts, like there drilling into my own mind and echoing into my own thoughts and decisions…
            It’s pretty cool I guess….

            RB

            Reply
          • Malachi4577 says

            March 21, 2014 at 7:19 pm

            Well yeah what did you expect

            Reply
          • Hatter says

            March 21, 2014 at 7:22 pm

            Hey it’s better than being tracked down by every known organization and the guy who runs beyourownaccountant.weebly.com I mean come on I bury my money in the snow every winter, I’m not that important, if you have to track my whereabouts you don’t have a life (sorry Noah)oh and reaper I have the physical appearence of a 15 year old so please be quiet about the toughness of life at 18 or I swear I will take the stuff of you.

            Reply
            • Agent RB says

              March 21, 2014 at 7:25 pm

              Penelope says she has a new code for you
              See below

              RB

              Reply
              • Hatter says

                March 21, 2014 at 8:02 pm

                That was more a claim to your body than anything else actually and I think it was also an insult and then she started talking about taking over the world,

                Reply
                • Agent RB says

                  March 21, 2014 at 8:10 pm

                  What, sweet little Penelope would never post something like that,

                  *no you wouldn’t, no you wouldn’t*
                  *your just my sweet little girl arnt you penelope*

                  Penelope agrees and says your a LIAR!!!
                  How could you accuse her of that, the nerve…
                  I bet it was a heartfelt careing love note to you
                  And you became jealous of her
                  We’ll let me tell you
                  YOU WILL NEVER BE MY CAT HATTER!!

                  RB

                  Reply
                  • Hatter says

                    March 21, 2014 at 8:44 pm

                    Here is the exact translation RB

                    You insolent she drones you are obscureing my plan all hail Penelope the new god of he new world donate donate donate all hail Penelope Penelope shall steal the body of this reaper and take reaper corpse as her own I am Penelope I am law I am GOD Meow eowm owme wmeo meow
                    Penelope

                    This was that “heartfelt caring note” that cyber wrote

                    Reply
                    • Agent RB says

                      March 21, 2014 at 8:53 pm

                      Oh that’s just silly nonsense, it’s probably stem from her being my laptop, and my laptop being my Sickle, I use a program called Skyth to give the final gift…

                      RB

                    • Fenrir Ulfangr says

                      March 21, 2014 at 10:54 pm

                      Told you cats are Evil.

            • The Reaper says

              March 21, 2014 at 7:47 pm

              Well jeez, High School must be easier than college. You know what college was back in my day? Gladiatorial combat. Today, college is sitting in a classroom with a sweaty bald guy teaching you math. And RB, I wouldn’t be willing to give those to my little Beardie. She’s to sweet.

              Reply
              • Agent RB says

                March 21, 2014 at 8:04 pm

                Let me EMPHASIZE , FLESH EATING beetles
                They were intended to fix your body of an 18 year old delima, plus why are you going to collage, your a Grim, Azreal the unfallun, humans arnt required to go to collage…

                RB

                Reply
                • The Reaper says

                  March 21, 2014 at 8:13 pm

                  Good point, but then again I got a date this weekend. Whoo hoo. Sorry, anyway, just because I’m a Grim doesn’t mean I don’t have to follow the rules of conduct up here, you don’t go to college? You don’t get a PAYING job. Being a Grim doesn’t pay the bills, so in other words, it’s either I get a job, or I starve. Having interns really has helped me learn how to take care of my new form. Speaking of which, I need 2 more. I uh… Forgot to leave out the food dish…

                  Reply
                  • Hatter says

                    March 21, 2014 at 8:22 pm

                    Seriously a food DISH what the underworld though you are 120% the funny RB is it does not make sense to have a food dish for what I’m guessing are human interns why they happen to be human would be apecciated

                    Reply
                    • Agent RB says

                      March 21, 2014 at 8:29 pm

                      They are human Grim worshipers, we indulge them sometimes by letting them become “interns”
                      It doesn’t matter what happens to them though, they already sold themselves to us.

                      RB

                  • Agent RB says

                    March 21, 2014 at 8:31 pm

                    Hey, we give you an unlimited supply of Pommigranits and Styx water, your basicly rolling around in food…

                    RB

                    Reply
                    • The Reaper says

                      March 21, 2014 at 8:43 pm

                      Have you ever had Mountain Dew and Chimichangas? If you have, you’d know why I have a job.

                    • Agent RB says

                      March 21, 2014 at 9:13 pm

                      Again with the not eating thing

                      RB

                    • The Reaper says

                      March 21, 2014 at 9:20 pm

                      Eating doesn’t have to be ‘Just so I can have nourishment and live for another day’ no, if that was all it was people wouldn’t even have spicy, salty, and sweet foods. It’d just be bland. No, eating can be just for enjoyment as well.

                    • Agent RB says

                      March 21, 2014 at 9:28 pm

                      But then you get a nasty end result…
                      So if you just not eat…
                      You don’t get…
                      That…

                      Besides why can’t you just enjoy other things like putting the food in your mouth and spitting them out again.
                      All the fun of eating with none of the end product 🙂

                      RB

                    • The Reaper says

                      March 21, 2014 at 9:38 pm

                      Mostly because as of 1 month ago, I am alive. However, there is a type of food that is ‘putting in, chewing, spitting out’ variety. It’s called chewing gum. You should try it.

                  • Agent RB says

                    March 21, 2014 at 8:38 pm

                    You know what take this
                    *hands Azrael the keys to the intern barn*

                    Take whatever you need…

                    RB

                    Reply
                    • Fenrir Ulfangr says

                      March 22, 2014 at 12:45 am

                      There is something called plumbing that makes the end product much easier to deal with, no more messy chamber pots. You should look into it.

                    • Agent RB says

                      March 22, 2014 at 1:21 am

                      I know what plumbing is…
                      It’s just, I don’t need it…
                      I don’t eat…

                      RB

              • Fenrir Ulfangr says

                March 21, 2014 at 10:56 pm

                There wasn’t high school when I was first around. There was just mortal combat against others. And druids telling people how to do magic with leaves.

                Reply
                • Agent RB says

                  March 22, 2014 at 1:21 am

                  How do you do magic with leaves?

                  RB

                  Reply
                  • Fenrir Ulfangr says

                    March 22, 2014 at 1:25 am

                    Oh you can do a lot with leaves. Cause trees to grow. Wake up trees to fight for you. You can even create semi-undead by causing the plants to grow through the body, and then animating them.

                    Reply
          • Kurogane says

            March 22, 2014 at 6:44 pm

            Give me a call.i’ll transfer your soul and conscious into a liquid metal core and you can put into any body you like.its basically immortality through alchemy.a art I am a master and practitioner of.

            Reply
            • Agent RB says

              March 22, 2014 at 9:01 pm

              Ugh… Immortality, what a nasty word, it’s never realy imortality anyway, just a cheap immatation of it…

              RB

              Reply
      • Agent RB says

        March 21, 2014 at 7:23 pm

        0101100101101111011101010010000001101001011011100111001101101111011011000110010101101110011101000010000001110011011010000110010100100000011001000111001001101111011011100110010101110011001000000111100101101111011101010010000001100001011100100110010100100000011011110110001001110011011000110111010101110010011001010110100101101110011001110010000001101101011110010010000001110000011011000110000101101110001000000110000101101100011011000010000001101000011000010110100101101100001000000101000001100101011011100110010101101100011011110111000001100101001000000111010001101000011001010010000001101110011001010111011100100000011001110110111101100100001000000110111101100110001000000110100001100101001000000110111001100101011101110010000001110111011011110111001001101100011001000010000001100100011011110110111001100001011101000110010100100000011001000110111101101110011000010111010001100101001000000110010001101111011011100110000101110100011001010010000001100001011011000110110000100000011010000110000101101001011011000010000001010000011001010110111001100101011011000110111101110000011001010010000001010000011001010110111001100101011011000110111101110000011001010010000001110011011010000110000101101100011011000010000001110011011101000110010101100001011011000010000001110100011010000110010100100000011000100110111101100100011110010010000001101111011001100010000001110100011010000110100101110011001000000111001001100101011000010111000001100101011100100010000001100001011011100110010000100000011101000110000101101011011001010010000001110010011001010110000101110000011001010111001000100000011000110110111101110010011100000111001101100101001000000110000101110011001000000110100001100101011100100010000001101111011101110110111000100000010010010010000001100001011011010010000001010000011001010110111001100101011011000110111101110000011001010010000001001001001000000110000101101101001000000110110001100001011101110010000001001001001000000110000101101101001000000100011101001111010001000010000001001101011001010110111101110111001000000110010101101111011101110110110100100000011011110111011101101101011001010010000001110111011011010110010101101111001000000110110101100101011011110111011100001101000010100101000001100101011011100110010101101100011011110111000001100101

        Meow
        Meow
        Meow

        Reply
        • Fenrir Ulfangr says

          March 21, 2014 at 10:56 pm

          Slightly ironic, the original name for binary code was Lucifer.

          Reply
          • Agent RB says

            March 21, 2014 at 11:08 pm

            She prefers Penelope thank you…

            RB

            Reply
          • Hatter/Janus/guardianR.S. says

            March 22, 2014 at 1:01 am

            That is kinda ironic

            Reply
        • Hatter says

          March 22, 2014 at 6:19 pm

          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          Reply
          • Hatter says

            March 22, 2014 at 9:38 pm

            Sing this if you know binary

            Reply
          • Agent RB says

            March 22, 2014 at 10:02 pm

            Can you translate that hatter, Penelope refuses to translate anything else for me, so weird…

            RB

            Reply
            • The Reaper says

              March 22, 2014 at 10:11 pm

              Cat-Tops are very selfish creatures. 😉

              Reply
            • Hatter says

              March 22, 2014 at 10:12 pm

              Boys and girls of every age
              Wouldn’t you like to see something strange?

              Come with us and you will see
              This, our town of Halloween

              This is Halloween, this is Halloween
              Pumpkins scream in the dead of night

              This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
              Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
              It’s our town, everybody scream
              In this town of Halloween

              I am the one hiding under your bed
              Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red

              I am the one hiding under yours stairs
              Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair

              This is Halloween, this is Halloween

              Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
              In this town we call home
              Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

              In this town, don’t we love it now?
              Everybody’s waiting for the next surprise

              Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can
              Something’s waiting now to pounce, and howl you’ll…

              Scream! This is Halloween
              Red ‘n’ black, slimy green

              Aren’t you scared?

              Well, that’s just fine
              Say it once, say it twice
              Take a chance and roll the dice
              Ride with the moon in the dead of night

              Everybody scream, everybody scream

              In our town of Halloween!

              I am the clown with the tear-away face
              Here in a flash and gone without a trace

              I am the “who” when you call, “Who’s there?”
              I am the wind blowing through your hair

              I am the shadow on the moon at night
              Filling your dreams to the brim with fright

              This is Halloween, this is Halloween
              Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
              Halloween! Halloween!

              Tender lumplings everywhere
              Life’s no fun without a good scare

              That’s our job, but we’re not mean
              In our town of Halloween

              In this town

              Don’t we love it now?

              Everybody’s waiting for the next surprise
              Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back
              And scream like a banshee
              Make you jump out of your skin
              This is Halloween, everybody scream
              Wont’ ya please make way for a very special guy

              Our man jack is King of the Pumpkin patch
              Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King, now!

              This is Halloween, this is Halloween
              Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

              In this town we call home
              Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

              Reply
              • Agent RB says

                March 23, 2014 at 11:16 am

                Hahaha,
                God that movie was good

                RB

                Reply
                • Hatter says

                  March 23, 2014 at 11:20 am

                  I know it’s one of my favourite Christmas movies

                  Reply
  2. Fenrir Ulfangr says

    March 22, 2014 at 12:48 am

    Besides if you want to compare underworlds, Neifelheim has all the best stuff. Running water, food that’s not pomegranates, a boat made from fingernails, it’s even got a giant icy vortex. 🙂

    Reply
    • Agent RB says

      March 22, 2014 at 1:18 am

      That’s it I’m applying for a transfer, wait no, I can’t…
      I’m all ready incharge of RHQ here…
      Hmm…

      RB

      Reply
      • Fenrir Ulfangr says

        March 22, 2014 at 1:22 am

        You wouldn’t like it, I’m in charge over there now. Hel got tired of babysitting the draugr so I took over.

        Reply
    • Agent RB says

      March 22, 2014 at 1:19 am

      Pomigranites are pretty good once you get used to them though…

      RB

      Reply
  3. Kurogane says

    March 22, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    Pfft….I can provide more stylish and functional cybernetics at half the price. Of even better quality than the stuff on the market right now.

    Reply
    • Agent RB says

      March 22, 2014 at 9:05 pm

      Can I buy a cybernetic/magical eye implants so I can open Rcorps data base from anywhere now that my laptop is gone?

      RB

      Reply

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Links

  • Spray Nine
  • The SOS Monstrometer
  • ZAG – Zombie Actor's Guild
  • Zombie Specimens

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