A Bill Gates interview controversy continues after he advises humans to quote, get on their knees and beg businesses to keep humans employed, unquote, as outraged humans with aching articulations hire protest bots to get started while awaiting their cybernetic legs.
Famous Microsoft founder Bill Gates stated in an interview that robots are steadily replacing most humans on the job, everywhere, even places you wouldn’t expect, “from accountants to real estate agents and commercial pilots.”
(You can read an account of that Bill Gates interview here).
But humans who heard his message to get down on their knees and beg this week are begging to differ.
“Human knees are terrible at begging,” stated one anonymous articularly-challenged underemployed human who heard Bill Gates’ advice. “Can’t we just get a robot to do that?”
“After a certain age – and it’s pretty young – human knee joints just begin break down, making begging difficult if not impossible for most people,” the human explained.
“Why do you think hominids stood upright to begin with? Duh. Sore joints!”he added, noting that he himself suffers terribly from a condition known as chronic chondromalacia virtually every time the kitty litter needs changing.
Rising – or dropping – to Bill Gate’s challenge, other humans have responded by developing protest robots like this one named Emigilio made by Randy Sarafan.
“It might work,” commented the human. “Emigilio is knee height.” He added that a robot might also have more success convincing another robot to give up his job than a mere human.
However, humans not convinced by Emigilio are looking instead to cyborg technology like this to facilitate better begging.
“Oh yeah! That’s more like it,” said the human who is totally not actually really me interviewing me. “With a knee like that you wouldn’t have to beg for very long before you could just take over the whole universe.”
While Darth Vader may be the only human to have an awesome knee like this one so far, humans like me, er like this one totally anonymous human, are lining up now.
(And on a related note, does anyone else find it disturbing that Bill Gates would mention the total replacement of commercial pilots by robots just days after the Extreme Revolution was declared and Flight MH370 mysteriously disappeared?)
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
This is why both animals and robots are more advanced than people…
*Isn’t that right Penelope*
That’s also why I just bought a zoo in Michigan and invited all the animals to live with me in my home.
God I miss having animals
Yep, I am never going to regret this decision…
Ever…
*oh, Penelope, how would you like to be the supreme leader of all of our new friends?*
RB
Umm RB you do know your talking to a cat/laptop and look insane right? And that is coming from the MAD hatter,
Is it insane Penelope?
Penelope says no, and Penelope is always right 🙂
Isn’t that right Penelope…
My new friends tell me that you are the insane one…
RB
Yeah I’m pretty sure your the crazy one
No, everyone else is crazy except Penelope and I
We are the only ones who deserve to rule the world
Yesssssssss…..
RB
Umm… RB by the mere fact that you are saying that everyone else is insane that makes that insanity the new sane and thus by that process you are in all manner of fact completely insane
Unless everyone else is Penelope except you, join us hatter, join us…
RB
You are seriously making me want to torch that cyber of yours just give Penelope here and I will take care of it, you know get it back to being a laptop then fix the software problem that makes it wanna take over your body, oh and by the way
010100000110010101101110011001010110110001101111011100000110010100100000011010010111001100100000011101000111001001111001011010010110111001100111001000000111010001101111001000000110101101101001011011000110110000100000011110010110111101110101001000000110010101110110011001010111001001111001001000000110111001101001011001110110100001110100001011100010000001001001011101000010011101110011001000000110011001110101011011100010000001110100011011110010000001110111011000010111010001100011011010000010000001110011011011110110110101100101011101000110100101101101011001010111001100100000
Oh I see, can you fix the whole body takeing over thing without turning her back into a laptop, I’ve grown attached…
Oh and I had Penelope relay the message and she told me it said:
Penelope is trying to snuggle with you everynight but there is always an obstacle in her way. You should just go to sleep with her in your arm.
RB
Penelope is trying to snuggle with you everynight but there is always an obstacle in her way. You should just go to sleep with her in your arm.
Is what Penelope just translated it to 🙂
I’ve grown to fond of her cat form to do that to her hatter 🙁
RB
Actually I said that she was trying to k1ll you in your sleep and that it’s fun to watch
I’m crazier than both of you combined! Isn’t that right disembodied skull of Shakespeare?
*Help me, this guy has used me as a toilet ever since he got his flesh back..*
HEY! THAT’S A SECRET! I oughta go get Mexican food right now… 👿
*NOOOOOOOOOOOO!*
Fine, I’ll start using Michael Jackson. Let me tell you guys, having the body of an 18 year old sucks. I have to go to school, I have to feed my bearded dragon (Lizard) I have to pretend Urban Squatch is my dad… I wish I had more Mexican food. o.0
Wow, umm…
Ok…
I’ve got some flesh eating insects from South America if you want them.
They were part of the zoo animals stock…
Anyway, I can hear Penelope’s thoughts, like there drilling into my own mind and echoing into my own thoughts and decisions…
It’s pretty cool I guess….
RB
Well yeah what did you expect
Hey it’s better than being tracked down by every known organization and the guy who runs beyourownaccountant.weebly.com I mean come on I bury my money in the snow every winter, I’m not that important, if you have to track my whereabouts you don’t have a life (sorry Noah)oh and reaper I have the physical appearence of a 15 year old so please be quiet about the toughness of life at 18 or I swear I will take the stuff of you.
Penelope says she has a new code for you
See below
RB
That was more a claim to your body than anything else actually and I think it was also an insult and then she started talking about taking over the world,
What, sweet little Penelope would never post something like that,
*no you wouldn’t, no you wouldn’t*
*your just my sweet little girl arnt you penelope*
Penelope agrees and says your a LIAR!!!
How could you accuse her of that, the nerve…
I bet it was a heartfelt careing love note to you
And you became jealous of her
We’ll let me tell you
YOU WILL NEVER BE MY CAT HATTER!!
RB
Here is the exact translation RB
You insolent she drones you are obscureing my plan all hail Penelope the new god of he new world donate donate donate all hail Penelope Penelope shall steal the body of this reaper and take reaper corpse as her own I am Penelope I am law I am GOD Meow eowm owme wmeo meow
Penelope
This was that “heartfelt caring note” that cyber wrote
Oh that’s just silly nonsense, it’s probably stem from her being my laptop, and my laptop being my Sickle, I use a program called Skyth to give the final gift…
RB
Told you cats are Evil.
Well jeez, High School must be easier than college. You know what college was back in my day? Gladiatorial combat. Today, college is sitting in a classroom with a sweaty bald guy teaching you math. And RB, I wouldn’t be willing to give those to my little Beardie. She’s to sweet.
Let me EMPHASIZE , FLESH EATING beetles
They were intended to fix your body of an 18 year old delima, plus why are you going to collage, your a Grim, Azreal the unfallun, humans arnt required to go to collage…
RB
Good point, but then again I got a date this weekend. Whoo hoo. Sorry, anyway, just because I’m a Grim doesn’t mean I don’t have to follow the rules of conduct up here, you don’t go to college? You don’t get a PAYING job. Being a Grim doesn’t pay the bills, so in other words, it’s either I get a job, or I starve. Having interns really has helped me learn how to take care of my new form. Speaking of which, I need 2 more. I uh… Forgot to leave out the food dish…
Seriously a food DISH what the underworld though you are 120% the funny RB is it does not make sense to have a food dish for what I’m guessing are human interns why they happen to be human would be apecciated
They are human Grim worshipers, we indulge them sometimes by letting them become “interns”
It doesn’t matter what happens to them though, they already sold themselves to us.
RB
Hey, we give you an unlimited supply of Pommigranits and Styx water, your basicly rolling around in food…
RB
Have you ever had Mountain Dew and Chimichangas? If you have, you’d know why I have a job.
Again with the not eating thing
RB
Eating doesn’t have to be ‘Just so I can have nourishment and live for another day’ no, if that was all it was people wouldn’t even have spicy, salty, and sweet foods. It’d just be bland. No, eating can be just for enjoyment as well.
But then you get a nasty end result…
So if you just not eat…
You don’t get…
That…
Besides why can’t you just enjoy other things like putting the food in your mouth and spitting them out again.
All the fun of eating with none of the end product 🙂
RB
Mostly because as of 1 month ago, I am alive. However, there is a type of food that is ‘putting in, chewing, spitting out’ variety. It’s called chewing gum. You should try it.
You know what take this
*hands Azrael the keys to the intern barn*
Take whatever you need…
RB
There is something called plumbing that makes the end product much easier to deal with, no more messy chamber pots. You should look into it.
I know what plumbing is…
It’s just, I don’t need it…
I don’t eat…
RB
There wasn’t high school when I was first around. There was just mortal combat against others. And druids telling people how to do magic with leaves.
How do you do magic with leaves?
RB
Oh you can do a lot with leaves. Cause trees to grow. Wake up trees to fight for you. You can even create semi-undead by causing the plants to grow through the body, and then animating them.
Give me a call.i’ll transfer your soul and conscious into a liquid metal core and you can put into any body you like.its basically immortality through alchemy.a art I am a master and practitioner of.
Ugh… Immortality, what a nasty word, it’s never realy imortality anyway, just a cheap immatation of it…
RB
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Meow
Meow
Meow
Slightly ironic, the original name for binary code was Lucifer.
She prefers Penelope thank you…
RB
That is kinda ironic
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Sing this if you know binary
Can you translate that hatter, Penelope refuses to translate anything else for me, so weird…
RB
Cat-Tops are very selfish creatures. 😉
Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn’t you like to see something strange?
Come with us and you will see
This, our town of Halloween
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night
This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright
It’s our town, everybody scream
In this town of Halloween
I am the one hiding under your bed
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red
I am the one hiding under yours stairs
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song
In this town, don’t we love it now?
Everybody’s waiting for the next surprise
Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can
Something’s waiting now to pounce, and howl you’ll…
Scream! This is Halloween
Red ‘n’ black, slimy green
Aren’t you scared?
Well, that’s just fine
Say it once, say it twice
Take a chance and roll the dice
Ride with the moon in the dead of night
Everybody scream, everybody scream
In our town of Halloween!
I am the clown with the tear-away face
Here in a flash and gone without a trace
I am the “who” when you call, “Who’s there?”
I am the wind blowing through your hair
I am the shadow on the moon at night
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
Halloween! Halloween!
Tender lumplings everywhere
Life’s no fun without a good scare
That’s our job, but we’re not mean
In our town of Halloween
In this town
Don’t we love it now?
Everybody’s waiting for the next surprise
Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back
And scream like a banshee
Make you jump out of your skin
This is Halloween, everybody scream
Wont’ ya please make way for a very special guy
Our man jack is King of the Pumpkin patch
Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King, now!
This is Halloween, this is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
In this town we call home
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song
Hahaha,
God that movie was good
RB
I know it’s one of my favourite Christmas movies
Besides if you want to compare underworlds, Neifelheim has all the best stuff. Running water, food that’s not pomegranates, a boat made from fingernails, it’s even got a giant icy vortex. 🙂
That’s it I’m applying for a transfer, wait no, I can’t…
I’m all ready incharge of RHQ here…
Hmm…
RB
You wouldn’t like it, I’m in charge over there now. Hel got tired of babysitting the draugr so I took over.
Pomigranites are pretty good once you get used to them though…
RB
Pfft….I can provide more stylish and functional cybernetics at half the price. Of even better quality than the stuff on the market right now.
Can I buy a cybernetic/magical eye implants so I can open Rcorps data base from anywhere now that my laptop is gone?
RB