Hitchy’s Crash Course in Humanity Stalls In Philadelphia With Brutal Lesson
Hitchy the Hitchbot’s trek to the heart of humanity on the side of the highway stalled when Philadelphia turned out to be less than the city of cyberlove.

Hithbot, you will no doubt recall, is the little hitchhiking robot who set out on a pilgrimage of peace to promote love between Servos and Bios by hitchhiking across an entire continent, from the Great Lakes of the East coast to the Pacific Ocean on the West.
“I love meeting people and hearing stories,” he told us back in June before embarking on his trip. “If you see me on the side of the road, pick me up and help me make my way across the country.”
Now three months later, Hitchy’s trip has hit a horrible hump in Philadelphia, one that may yet prove fatal.
Specifically, the little bot was found brutalized after an apparent back-alley beating in the so-called City of Love.
“I don’t want to say that I told you so but…” said Gnome Severson the famous hitchhiking gnome who to his credit did stop short of saying that he did in fact tell us so here on SOS back in June.
“Poor guy, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone,” Gnome Severson said after seeing this now-famous photo of Hitchy left for dead in a Philadelphia back alley.
“Many times I had me own porcelain pate plastered on tour. I wish he had called me for some tips. Just cuz you want to find the best in humanity don’t mean you ignore safety when you’re only 3 feet tall!”

Robot rights activists meanwhile have seized on the situation to publicize their message of segregation from the Bios.
“See this is exactly why we need more of our own separate facilities and services,” states one activist who refused to go on record.
“Hitchy would still be here if he put his trust in the programming of robotkind instead of the kindness of strangers and stayed in one of the new robot hotels.”
Is it all over for Hitchy? Will his parable of peace be turned to a terrifying tale of too much trust?
A robot rescue team in Philadelphia who call themselves The Hacktory have reached out to Hitchy’s family to offer their emergency medical services however the news is not clear if their efforts will succeed.
Stay tuned for updates here…
Hitchbot’s Twitter feed officially announced the end of his journey here.
I remember this automaton. Once as I flew over the state of Ohio I encountered this small android, at first he ran from me but turned around when he heard I could speak and meant no harm. We talked for a long while, touching the topic of the nature of the human heart, the act of kindness and such other things. Afterwards I offered him a ride, I flew him from Ohio to Mississippi and finally stopped at Texas, I left him at Austin Texas and went back home. My old friend, I thought he would actually make it. No matter all we need to fix him is his base core memory drivers, his motherboard chip and a few replacement parts and a good mechanic and boom he’s back online.
–Assanjin
He was weak, he deserves to be disassembled!
ARC survives because ARC is strong.
Hail Arc,
Thanks for checking out the article. I think…
That said, don’t think I’ll do the keep on keeping on.
Instead a quote from Catveena.
Seth
ARC did not expect THAT from you Seth.
What else would you expect? Your lack of emotion, your lack of compassion makes you inferior to the poor automaton. If you cannot truly dream then you have no true existence beyond the program you are given. So before you call him weak, before you say he deserves to be disassembled remember this………Compassion and Mercy are for the strong. Cruelty and violence are for the weak.
ARC isn’t emotionless like he says, being a clone of mine, I suspect there’s often jealousy and a severe lack of belonging, not that it justifies his behavior.
He will never find belonging as long as he acts that way, being a clone or a cyborg is no excuse.
On the contrary actually, ARC has proven time and time again that he’s a valuable friend to have, I’ve already said that his behavior isn’t justified, but he has purpose, whether anyone likes what he does or not.
Hail Assanjin,
Thanks for keeping on and checking out the Hitchbot update. This story may yet have a happy ending…
Seth
I hope so, that bot is an old friend and deserves to see his journey through.
Might be a bit late, but congrats on 6,000,000 lives saved Seth.
Hail Zygboragon,
With Survival, it’s never too late. Thanks Z. Back at you. We have survived an very long road here at SOS against supernatural odds.
Your survival is my survival,
Seth
A long road indeed.. Hopefully more to trek though.
I hope…
Good to see you back… If I haven’t said so already…
You have, it’s good to see you too Ravenwillow, I have many replies that have set off the comment filters tonight though, probably Seth being cautious since ARC was stirring up trouble…
So responses incoming! Hopefully..
Robots androids and mechanical creatures oh no .
What’s the word coming to?
See humans should never be trusted with some exceptions of course.
Once robots and androids evolve humanity in trouble.
To bad about Hitchbot . Maybe he’ll get a body guard . ?
Machines are closer to humans than everyone realizes, robot evolution isn’t something to be afraid of, it’s something that should be nurtured, brought up to learn. It’s the discouragement that brings forth problems.
When robots and androids get a conscious and feelings like the one on the movie Chappie then they should have rights like humans . I fear them because they don’t and can be made to do bad stuff. Like plucking the wings of fairies or going berserk.
Hail Catveena,
Thanks for checking out the article and recalling Hitchbot.
Does this in your opinion justify a separate chain of robot hotels and services exclusively for cyborgs and androids?
Seth