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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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Friday One-Three V-Day Self Defences

V Rules To Weather A Psycho Stalker Storm

SlasherRose

 I. When you don’t know the sender, put it in the blender.

Okay I know I just like that because it rhymes. The virtual blender of course. Or brain blender if you will. Unless you have a really good blender, that can accommodate things like flowers and small taxidermy projects, in which case by all means. The point here is just this. Stalkers keep stalking, and stocking, your in-boxes, for as long as you accept it. Do Not Accept. No room on the shelf or screen. Delete.

As cute as that stuffed squirrel may seem at first, send it back unopened.

II. No Friend Zone for Stalkers

Stalkers don’t understand the meaning of friend zone. So no, you can’t really just be friends and unless your idea of a good time is making papier mache hockey masks and dreaming of homicide, never offer to be one. It’s not fair to either of you.

III. BYOH: Always Bring Your Own Hydration Source

Never leave home without your preferred hydration source in hand, properly protected. Two obvious reasons. One, nobody can slip you a unwanted shot of polonium. Two, you’ll be limber and well-hydrated when fan and feces meet.

IV. Safe Way Home

Two things to remember here. One, a safe walk or ride home is not with just anyone you know or anyone bigger or stronger than you who has a car, bike, donkey. If it’s not with somebody you have known and trusted for years, then you’re statistically speaking better off travelling alone or with a true friend at the other end of a connected device.

V. Avoid All Open and Running Water Sources

Why??? Why did they always do it? Go out on the lake? Into the shower? Sit on the toilet? Somehow they always found a reason.

But don’t you. As night falls on this Friday One-Three Part V,  just say no to good hygiene and tempting offers to go midnight fishing. And above all watch out for strangers in hockey masks and coveralls.

As always, your survival is my survival!

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

3 comments to V-Day Self Defence

  • Fenrir Iceborn

    I’m leading a Cupid hunt tomorrow if anyone is interested, best sport of the year. And they make for a tasty meal all fried up. Don’t make fun of me til you’ve tried it.

    • Mishael

      Oh I would like to come you know it’s my birth day to day and yes the devourer of souls merciless King of the druchii has a brith day. I’d love to come maybe I can skin a few alive first my favorite part of the Cupid is their miserable wretched hearts I’ll enjoy a bloody feast tonight some what time does it start also I prefer them raw.

  • Bella

    I’m glad my Valentine isn’t a psycho! Well, I suspect he’s a werewolf but he’s not a psycho at least!

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