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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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Why Are Fairies Following Professor? FBI Agent Investigates

Fantastic fairy photos from a British professor this week prompted a former FBI agent to investigate and caused the world to wonder, why are fairies following this man?

Why are fairies following this man?

Why are fairies following this man?

When Professor John Hyatt released these images on social media, he swore to the world they were not altered in any way, shape or form. The fairies, he said, began appearing in his nature photographs snapped on long walks through Rossendale Valley.

His photos immediately attracted the attention of the supernatural world, including former FBI Agent Ben Hansen who whose own investigation concluded the appearance of these fairies could not have been an accident.

“It would be quite a coincidence that the fairies all happen to emerge in front of the camera at the precise distance needed to be in focus,” he said on his SiFy TV show.

Former Agent Hansen could not answer the question on many minds, why are fairies following this particular professor? Is he in fact posing them in front of the camera? The answers are flying on the Internet to day. SOS invites you to read a few of them and judge for yourself.

Are they posing for the professor?

Are they posing for the professor?

Historical Hoax Theory:

In this place in 1917, two girls fooled the whole world with their own photographs of fairies. For the infamous Cottingley Fairies Hoax, friends Elsie Wright and Frances Griffiths took photos of themselves frolicking with fey folk later found to be made of cardboard – but not before fooling the entire world, including some very famous people. As a result, some say, nobody would ever believe a human who claimed to have seen fairies in this spot here, making it the safest place for fairies to meet.

Fairies Want to Work With Professor Hyatt

Professor Hyatt’s work at Manchester Metropolitan University involves bringing magic into the real world to achieve healing. He denies being a wizard or magic user himself, that is his stated job description. Are the fairies trying to impart a healing message to the professor? If so, what could it be?

Professor Hyatt Is Summoning the Fairies For His Own Reasons

Although the professor used to play in a punk band, in recent times he has been caught on camera playing a number of highly suspicious instruments including this one:

Professor Hyatt plays a number of suspicious instruments.

Professor Hyatt plays a number of suspicious instruments.

Why the sudden change of heart? Many believe he is using them to call the fairies to him as part of his mysterious magical mission. Is he really summoning them with a song and making them dance? If so, is this really about healing somebody or something? Or some other mysterious personal reason?

I haven’t made up my mind yet, but two things at least are very clear to me today. One, if the Professor is summoning the fairies with magic music, he better be prepared for unexpected consequences. Fairies do not respond well to command performances. The magic they bring to him may be much more than he had in mind. If he is hoping to hijack a tooth fairy, for instance, he could wake up tomorrow with a mouth full of fairy dust – and nothing else. True story. Happens all the time.

Two, readers are cautioned to not make the mistake of many Internet entomologists today. Fairies do not take kindly to being called bugs. Or insects. Unless you want to spend your summer swatting swarms of mosquitoes cursed on you by an festering fey, do like me and just keep that idea to yourself.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

26 comments to Why Are Fairies Following Professor? FBI Agent Investigates

  • Agent RB

    You know, the first ever selfie was taken by a fae, they invented Instagram for that purpose in the first place!
    A magic hacker took the app off the faerie only page on the App Store and revealed it to the world of humans, the fairies now use a different app, wich I’m nota at liberaty to talk about…

    RB

    • Hatter

      So what if faeries invent Instagram, I hear from a contact I have in Egypt that play station was invented by vampires as a ploy to make humans slower/easier to attack alternately werewolves invented xbox to combat this new developement because werewolves &vampires always have to be fighting for some reason.

  • Hello friends and other assorted survivors. Reaper update time! That special time of the week when I come back to report some fun news I found out! Got some juicy stuff in the celebrity world today, it turns out that not only is Miley Cyrus a cyborg… She is being controlled by none other than famous Dubstepper… Scrillex! Is it just me, or is that Bangarang? And in other news, I’ve found Blackbeards secret treasure! Unfortunately, it was haunted and I had to give it to a treasure analyst. Long story short, I dumped it into a dragons den and ran out. Also, did you know that the cat-top Penelope isn’t the first of her kind but rather an uncommon reaction to what happens when you pour water on a mystically electrical device? Spilled diet coke on my CD player, and it turned into a frikkin lizard which I have now named Larry. Well that’s all for this week survivors, I might show up again later this week or just reply to anyone replying to this conversation.

    Keep on keeping on.

    The Reaper

  • Jerry9012

    Foolish mortals. I have returned. Applaud if you wish.

    • Lilith

      Charmed. And who might you be?

      • Jerry9012

        Jerry son of Dragoon. The dark dragon. Alternatively, you may call me your ruler. Also, it’s quite clear why the faeries are following him. Perfume. Faeries are attracted to a certain smell, he has clearly found the scent of Titania. As I remember, it was honey, rose petals, and an extinct type of honey bee. Known as ‘Wasps’. But I don’t know how he could have got a hold of them.

        • Lilith

          That’s nice, darling. I’m Lilith, you’ve probably heard of me so I’ll skip all the praddling of titles and past names and yadda yadda. It’s a pleasure.

        • Mad.Sparkles

          Ugh, if you are some egotistical twerp bent on world domination you might as wait in line behind the rest of the evil people. Seriously, i have meet like five different people who want to take over the world, and then claim that they can too! It gets so annoying, especially since they can’t well, at least three of them cant. Whatever.

          If you aren’t an evil dude bent on world domination though, nice to meet you!

        • Mr. Mutt

          Mutt. Hybrid. Old. Not going to call anyone ruler. But hi Jerry!

        • Mr. Mutt

          Also not very mortal. Like slightly mortal. One eighth mortal…. Mortalish?

        • Agent RB

          Ruler, you know what I did to the last person I called ruler!
          Nothing, I don’t belive I’ve ever called anyone ruler before, mabey king or god, but never ruler, take a tip from me, if you want to rule everything give yourself a less bland title and more people will respect you.

          RB

          • Jerry9012

            How about emperor? Or world master? Sorry for replying to you RB, I couldn’t decide who to speak to.
            I don’t necessarily categorize under ‘good’ or ‘evil’ I’m more chaotic neutral.
            The famous Mr. Mutt. Tell me, do you know how to get the smell of burning voidmunk out of my scales? I’ve been trying since… 1995.
            Lilith. The second snake of the garden. I do admire your work so. Tell me, how do you twist the souls of mortals so?
            The guardian hatter. Never understood your kind, never feared it either. Also, I’ve gone under many names throughout the centuries. Don’t feign to know everything, reading back that’s how a survivor gets hated around here.
            As for the wasps, I come from another dimension. Where Zyboragon and his allies failed the void wars. I was sent with 7 other dragons to warn you of an upcoming battle. Then I realized how funny it is that you are all worried about non dimensional threats. You know, even though you’re Zyboragon is sleeping away on forest fenns treasure, and your mutt has already been taken down twice. Once by his own son. But don’t worry, I’m sure you survivors with no experience of the void will survive the war my people lost just fine.

            • Agent RB

              If litith is the second snake of the garden, then I’m what happens when that snake sheds it’s skin so to speak, Noah, Agent RB, either is fine. Fun fact I’m the one who cause the flood.
              It tends to happen when you are an incarnation of Lilith the storm, a form she have up to Crete me. Tell me has a storm ever bowed to you, I’d be Verry surprised if it did, they don’t have knees as you may have noticed, so no, your not my master…

              RB

            • Mr. Mutt

              Zyboragons slumbering?…. No I’m afraid you are misinformed. I saw Zyboragon fall. He is no more. As for inter-dimensional threats we will rise to the occasion should the occasion rise to us. Besides the Void is sealed off. It does not pose any threat to this reality. Finally I would recommend a nice bath in some oregano, hydrogen peroxide, and dish soap for the burnt void chipmunk smell.

              • Jerry9012

                I’m sorry Lord Mutt, I didn’t realize. Ah but wait, I’ve been fighting off voidmunks and at least one void chicken for months now. Also, if you excuse me I need to run to the supermarket, and the pharmacy for my bath supplies. Maybe I’ll burn it down, maybe I’ll wait for my dimension to push into this one and finally begin it’s war. Also, how did any draconian manage human form for so long? I mean jeez, it’s so demeaning! Compared to our regal form, why choose to run around in this weak water filled unprotected sack of weakness? I so wish I could go out in my own form without the military coming after me, but as the last draconian who went out without human form learned… Rocket launchers surpass our sword proof scales.

                • Mr. Mutt

                  Either learn to cast glamours, or quit complaining about your human form. And if I catch anyone burning down a pharmacy or store, or even a fast food place, I will kick them so hard they fly into next week (Don’t test me I’ve done it before…. Literally)

        • Hatter

          Wasps aren’t even extinct too so it’s pretty easy

  • Kurogane

    Btw that instrument he’s playing is a chinese yuen qi .I mastered it at the age of 3.

    • Hail Kurogane,

      Thanks for keeping on with this report. Then I count us all lucky you weren’t carried off by fairies at the age of 3. If you survived the Blood Moon I hope you will tell us how it summons fairies. Is it a particular song? At a particular time? Or related to the one who plays it? Are they readily available where you reside?

      Seth

  • Kurogane

    It’s no magical instrument just a normal instrument.
    Though the one I own i enchanted and is made of vampire skulls and oak.
    If you combine Theban and Latin cursed lyrics while playing in a pentagram made of blood and human ashes while wearing a sash made of cursed black satin.
    This summons fae’s that are used to spy on others.

  • Kurogane

    I was born on a blood moon under the full blood moon.
    During the next 4 blood moons I’ll be
    As powerful as I’ll ever be.

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