The Dog Days full moon always brings a record number of new lycans into packs around the world, but his year a dangerous new diet fad brings the new scary prospect of aging Hollywood celebs devoted to following the so-called werewolf diet wolfing out around the world.
Sources report that a strange new diet called the Werewolf Diet gaining popularity among older Hollywood celebs like Madonna and Demi Moore hoping to regain their youthful strength and vigour may actually be turning them into werewolves.
“Instead of eating normal food, on the full moon she starts drinking this stuff,” says Janice W. former assistant to Madonna. “And then things start to get weird…”
According the website Moon Connection the drink in question is just juice and there’s no need to be alarmed but her former assistant is not so sure.
“Then how do you explain her change in behaviour? As the moon rises, she gets grumpier and grumpier until finally she just locks herself away.”
Lycanthropologists point out this is classic behaviour for a werewolf but according to one, Dr. Dominicus Van Buran, it’s still unclear if the drink is an effort to trigger a transformation or actually a desperate attempt to forestall one.
“If the drinks contain extract of lupin and/or colloidal silver this could actually be a diet designed to prevent an unwanted transformation,” states the Doctor. “However if it contains a lycanthroporous extracts directly from a living donor, it could indeed be a misguided attempt to become a werewolf.”
Until we know what exactly is in the drinks it’s impossible to know. Smart survivors will be on the lookout for celebrity werewolves this full moon.
3 Signs You Could Be Facing a Celebrity Werewolf
1. Big, Blingy Teeth And Nails
Celebrity werewolves allegedly prefer to avoid full wolf form so they can retain the expensive gemstones in their dental work and manicures. So if you are facing a blingy werewolf in wolf man form this full moon, it could be somebody famous.
However as ultimate transformation control is generally only an achievement of an experienced werewolf, this can result in a trail of gemstones left behind by a new werewolf celebrity so also keep your eyes open for a trail of diamonds.
2. Fashionable Full Moon Gear
While most werewolves prefer to save their human clothing and go au natural into the full moon, celebrity werewolves invest a lot of time and money into form-fitting transformation gear. So if you spot a werewolf wearing high-tech yoga pants, hold your laughter. At least long enough to snap a selfie with them.
3. Beware Their Lean and Rangy Look
Because celebrity werewolves go into their transformation so hungry, they are especially dangerous. The diet – or failed diet – that brought them to this point makes them even more dangerous than average, especially to their pets but also to anyone else they encounter. At this point you can’t count on a mere muffin to protect you. It’s going to take a juicy steak or a medium sized pet. If you don’t have either handy, asking for an autograph can buy you some time, but be prepared for a fight. Start by reviewing the werewolf survival tips here on SOS and elsewhere on the Internet including yourlupinelife.com.by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com