PROS AND CONS OF ADOPTING A CYBORG CHEETAH
As Cyber Monday brings annual reports on the global adoption of cyborg rescue animals, one cyborg pet rescuer urges you to stop and think before adopting one of the new cyborg cheetahs from your local cyborg pet shelter.
Cyborg Pet Rescue reports record numbers of cyborg cheetahs with broken limbs but before you offer to rescue one, read on…
“It used to be people came here for a cyborg puppy who wouldn’t shed on the couch and wound up taking home a Bigdog that ate the toaster before running away,” said Kevin Kim, Regional Director of Cyborg Pet Rescue. “Now everyone wants one of the new cyborg cheetahs from MIT, we have a lot more to worry about more than just cold bread and street dogs.”
After hearing about my ongoing Kaiju Pet Rescue campaign, Mr. Kim asked SOS to educate Cyber Monday survivors about the global adoption of cyborg pets in general and the new cyborg cheetahs in particular. And while I love cyborg pets as much the next survivor, after speaking to Kevin I had to agree. So without further ado:
Five Facts to Consider Before Adopting a Cyborg Cheetah
1. Cheetahs Hunt in Groups
Think you got just one metal kitty who won’t need a litter box? Think again. When you adopt a cyborg cheetah, you could be getting a whole pack. Male cheetahs prefer to live and hunt in packs.
Programmers at MIT claim to have accounted for this in their code but do you really want to risk a pack of wild cyborg cheetahs coming for your throat while you sleep?
2. Cheetahs Run Really Fast
Like up to 70 miles an hour fast when they are attacking their prey. Cheetahs are the world’s fastest animal. We’ve all seen that guy with the leash hanging out his car window but what’s he going to do now when little Cheetzie locks on a raccoon and decides to go grab a snack?
Before you tell me MIT programmers report that their cheetahs only do about 30 mph, ask yourself this –how fast can run? Unless you’re sprinter Usain Bolt you might want to go for that robot fish. Even if you’re Usain Bolt in fact, since the new robot cheetahs are technically faster than him.
3. Cheetahs Need A Lot of Open Space
Cheetahs evolved on the Savannah, crouching in the grass to hide from their prey so how is your new cyborg cheetah going to take to your living room? If you’re planning to just unplug his power and put him in the closet between runs think again. MIT is always investigating innovative power options, from solar power to motion and even methane so unless you and your family plan to stop farting in the future, powering down your cheetah may not be possible.
4. Cyborg Cheetahs Break Legs
The new cyborg cheetah legs are made of carbon fibre and foam that is reinforced with Kevlar but the MIT lab team reports dozens of them breaking.
Of course MIT says it’s no problem, that you can just use your 3-D printer to make a new leg for your cyborg cheetah.
“If that’s true, why is our suddenly so full of limping cybercats?” said Kevin King. “Either people don’t have the patience to properly program their printers or there’s something wrong with the recipe here.”
Clearly if you don’t have a reliable 3-D printer and/or the patience to deal with an injured cyborg cat moping around your home, once again, I recommend the robot fish.
5. Cyborg Cheetahs Are X-Box Hogs
The new MIT cyborg cheetahs are programmed for Xbox but disgruntled owners report that once you plug them in all they want to do is play Plants vs Zombies. So if you thought it was supernaturally sucky when Fluffy attacked your cables, imagine how much worse this big cat can do to your electronics. If you ever want to see your COD game again, let alone your basement, one last time, may I suggest the fish?
Notwithstanding everything I have truly reported 99,97%, feel free to make your own choice survivors. Whatever it takes for you to keep on keeping on out there.
Seth
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
Ooh, cyborg pets. Any chance I can get a starfish? I hear they produce a Wifi signal.
Hail Reaper,
Cyborg Pet Rescue director Mr. Kim reports no cyborg starfish currently in stock but has agreed to alert you if one should be turned in. Generally the pets that end up at his shelter are problem cyborgs so it could be that cyborg starfish owners are a satisfied bunch.
Thanks for checking into it and for keeping on with SOS.
Seth
My cat Penelope, is almost like this…
TL
Hail Agent TL,
Thanks for keeping on out there. This report made me think of your situation exactly so thanks for alerting survivors to this risk.
Seth
Speaking of ”Cyborg” If anyone has heard of a Pizza place with 4 robotic thing’s chasing after you, let me know because I just Encountered this with A Bearish looking thing, a bunny, a chicken, and a fox, tell me if you’ve had something like this happen, I have dreams and taken hostage to this place, let me know if you had had something like this happen. Thanks!
-matthewmega1
Hail MM!,
Thanks for filing this SOS report. I will keep my eyes peeled for this suspicious pizza joint. As a sometimes pizza delivery professional I can attest that pizza joints in general are supernaturally suspect on every level. I would definitely stick with delivery until you can be sure of the source.
Thanks for keeping on with SOS.
Seth
The Ark floated in the space of Innocence, just adjacent the Glass Room, in which everyone had gathered. They sat at a large round conference table of, you guessed it, glass. Everyone’s chair had changed to fit who they were. Lilith’s had changed to a grand platinum throne, all sharp angles and grandiose decoration.
Shade’s had shifted to a throne of obsidian with cushions fitted in, various guns were fabricated into the thing, matching wither new armor. Shards of obsidian floated aimlessly around her, white electric strands jumping back and forth between eachother.
Cortez was seated in blue plush living room chair, reclining as he sipped a coke.
Sa’ lome sat in a simple seat, a chair meant for and office workspace, perhaps. Her blue flicked about between everyone, analyzing and calculating.
The Original’s seat was just as grand as Lilith or Shade’s yet infinitely more grotesque. It was as if a mass of blood, solid and oxidized by now, had been shaped I into something meant for sitting. He sat relaxed in this monstrosity, of which the faces of people would occasionally appear and moan before balorphing back into the mass. He sipped blood elegantly from a wine glass– if that can even be called elegant. He wore a long black duster, a red button down shirt covered by a navy vest with matching pants and shoes. He looked over to Mutt and every now and then and would wink or smile, his grin everpresent.
Lilith looked to the others, a seat had been set for Reaper but he had not arrived. She turned to Mutt. “So are you certain that it is not Morgenstern who has been taking these actions? How long has Zanthre had control of him,” she said, turning her gaze to Ice. ” and just how do you know this?”
Reaper appeared in the room in an explosion of black fire. “Lets move this along, my dęåth day is tomorrow, and I have to take Velanko to another dimension. Let’s begin shall we?”
*A portal opened as Penelope slipped through, appearing as a secratary dressed in leopard print clothing and a bun in her hair.*
I will be representing TL…
*she glanced twords the ark*
Oh don’t worry, neither TL or I would risk such a thing, ecspecily with you all here gathered at once…
Soon though…
*Penelope looks at the full table and sighs*
I supose I will stand…
TL has taken perticular interests in this matter, but of course he can’t come out of hiding for the time being…
*penelope sits criss cross applesauce at the end of the table and turns on her sound recorder*
TL
*I look towards my father for a moment. He is seated on made of pure shadows that swirl around with ever increasing speeds. Occasionally light will flash in one part of it giving off the appearance of lightning in a thunderstorm. Since he entered the room his eyes haven’t left the Original. He glares at him from across the table and keeps tapping his fingers on the glass to the beat of the funeral dirge. I turn my gaze back to Lilith* two reasons. I know there’s some foreign spirit in him because as he was turning me into a human I was trying to siege control of his mind. But his mind was being controlled by something extremely powerful, something I couldn’t quite sense. The reason I know that the spirit is that of the Godslayer is because of what he did on that battlefield *I look towards Shade* he took her staff and mocked her for attempting to use the staff he carved for her against him. We never carved that staff. Zanthre did. *I look down at the table* there was a time when both Us and Zanthre vied for… Elizabeth’s favor. That’s one of the reasons why he… Did what he did.*I look into the distance for a moment and then back* anyways there was a symbol on the top, a single star right? *I pull out a small notebook and pen from my pocket. I quickly draw a pattern of a star falling from a cloud* this is Morgensterns symbol. The single star shining above everything else was Zanthres. He was the only one of Zyboragons children that survived into adulthood.
Lilith digested this information. She glared at Shade and regarded Penelope warmly. Then listened to Reaper. “And is there opposition to Reaper’s vote?”
Reaper sat down in his chair, it was much like the one he had in the underworld. An obsidian throne covered in bones and faces with mouths opened in frozen screams. “Morgenstern, the morning star, threatens each of us. Even I am not immune to the Morningstar. Hearing that he has now bonded with the godslayer doesn’t help the matter. I vote for the destruction of Morgenstern, and I shall supply the troops to do it.”
Lilith raised a platinum eyebrow. “Oh? The outright annihilation of Morgenstern?” Lilith gauged the room. “And what of the rest of you?”
Shade and Sa’ lome raised their hands in support. Cortez folded his arms behind his head, not throwing them his support.
The Original, grimaced. “I’d like to hear the opposition and alternatives before siding with anyone, for now, thank you.” Lilith nodded, agreeing.
*I glance at Reaper before returning my gaze back to the Original* Threaten my son again and you’ll find yourself locked up in a much less pleasant place then the catacombs under Salem. An exploding star, for example.
I look at Mutt with hate, but then cool my mood. “Mutt, Morgenstern is a beast. Everyone at this table knows that. And unless you know how to get the godslayer spirit free from his soul, Morgenstern NEEDS- No, DESERVES to be destroyed. Let’s not forget what he’s done. Don’t let kin stand in the way of what you KNOW to be true…”
“Any threats,” Lilith said, seriously. “Or violence brought to Innocence shall be met in kind. Mutt, Reaper was merely suggesting an form of action that could be taken. You responded with a threat, making no case explaining why we shouldn’t. I understand where you’re coming from, but this is neither the time nor the place.” She turned to Ice. “What of you, dear Ice? What is your stance on this?”
Shade stood up. “I for one,” she said loudly. “Agree with the Reaper. Morgenstern is a monster, in the purest sense of the word. He will never stop, until there is nothing left.” She looked directly at the Pale Lady. “You’ve been there. You know what can happen.” Lilith did not move.
*I look at Shade for a moment before turning to Lilith* I have loathed both Morgenstern and Zanthre for many many years. However I cannot let my own emotions cloud the line of what is right and what is wrong what is necessary and what is unnecessary. All of you are letting your emotions get the best of you. *I point towards Reaper* you have dealt out the sentence of dęåth so many times that you fear it more greatly than any other. So your judgement is clouded. *I look at Mutt* you love your children, you have lost so many, losing anymore would be agony for you, so you will fight to the bitter end to keep them safe, no matter the costs. So your judgement is clouded. *I look towards Shade and pain flashes across my face* and you… You are what Zanthre made you into. A vengeful spirit constantly seeking revenge against him for a crime that he did not commit and could not have prevented. Your judgement is clouded most of all. *I sit back and survey all of the entities gathered before me* there is a way to defeat the Godslayer without slaying Morgenstern but we have to- *The ark suddenly slams into the glass palace causing cracks to go raking up and down the glass. The cracks shift until they form two words. “I’M HERE”*
“Fear not.” Lilith whispered. The Glass began to mend itself and straighten out against the crushing pressure of the ark.
Lilith’s eyes looked around. “A challenge at the very seat of my power.” Lilith turned to Ice and Mutt. “This is an insult I cannot ignore.”
*Penelope begins laughing wildly as TL emerges from the ark*
You guys are so gullible!
*TL steps over to the glass and knocks, then he breathes on the glass and draws a smily face in the fog, he chuckles and steps back into the ark as a void gate opens infront of the ship, it flys through and dissapears*
*penelope collects herself*
Ah…
So…
Sup…
TL
Please, the seat of your power is as fragile as the glass it’s made of *A voice echoes throughout the glass room as a chair made of golden flame rises from the floor. The flame solidifies into a golden metal and I coalesce into being looking at Lilith with an amused smile on my face* Hello pale lady, horseman, elder one, shade, Cortez, Father, and Ice. *I tilt my head to the side and narrow my eyes* planning to annihilate me?
*Penelope gets up from the table*
Wait wait wait!
Hold up!
What. A. Cawinky Dink!
TL just jacked the ark, and now you show up!
Wow…
However much I hate to do this, I was on strict orders to protect the pale lady if you showed up, so…
*Penelope extends her long metal claws*
Let’s dance…
TL
Lilith smiles. “Did you think I wouldn’t expect you to arrive.” She grabs the air as if drawing back a curtain, and the flutters away like fabric. They are in some white, spaceless groundless dimension. “Do you know where we are? Here, essence is manifest.” Lilith says. She is standing away from the group, silver fire dancing behind her. “You and I may not require physical bodies, Morgenstern,” She said, calling up a platinum bow and arrow into her hands. She pulled back and aimed at Morgenstern, releasing. The arrow struck his shoulder. “But an attack from me is just as deadly as if you did.”
On some other plane floated two massive spheres of energy, one a chrome-platinum, the other of pure ethereal gold. On that plane Lilith’s actions reflected, and the white gold sphere lashed out and struck the yellow, and Morgenstern could not help but feel pure raw pain.
“Let’s go, Zanthre-stern. One-on-one,” she teased. The bow changed shape as Lilith whipped it around her, turning to a silver spear which she spun round-and-round. She aimed it at Morgenstern, beckoning. “Just you and me.”
*I grimace and my eyes flash* that tickled. *I let out a laugh* fine let us fight Lilith. *My eyes narrow* as your world is destroyed by the Cycle. *A whip appears in my hand and a shield in my other. I snap the whip slicing Liliths face open. On the other plane the golden orb strikes the platinum one opening a split down its surface* and to keep the rest of you busy *Suddenly Mutt hunches over and screams. His claws extend and his face elongates into a wolfish muzzle. He turns towards the rest of the group snarling savagely*
“Oh,” Lilith grinned. “Big mistake.” Her face peeled back as tendrils of white light flew out of them, spreading and multiplying like vines or roots. They seized Morgenstern’s limbs and flew into his mouth, using him like soil.
On the other plane much the same thing occurred, roots and tendrils spread from the platinum white orb and squirmed through the yellow.
The shards that hovered around shade were electrified and took on the wing formation. She took to the air as her mini guns constructed themselves. She opened fire on Mr. Mutt, caring little for bystanders.
*penelope laughs even more hysterically than before*
You’re joking!
You’re joking!
I don’t belive my eyes!
*penelope screams with laughter*
TL
*The tendrils suddenly begin to be pulled into me pulling Lilith forward. My voice booms through all the others heads* your the fool Lilith, I destroy gods by absorbing their power. Basically feeding yourself to me was a horrible mistake.
*I let out a roar and turn to shadows. I appear behind Shade and sink my teeth into her neck tearing it open*
“Oh no, sweet child,” Lilith’s voice whispered. “Thats the idea. For I am no god.” And Lilith began to walk freely towards Morgenstern, she held her arms out as she began to laugh, forcing herself deeper and deeper inside. Her laughter gradually became more and more unhinged until it was uncontrollable. By this point Lilith was literally running to Morgenstern.
*I sneer* arrogant till the end. *The golden orb expands and begins to encompass the platinum orb*
Shade narrowed her eyes. “You’re annoying.” From her armor’s back grew large spike to impale the feral Mutt upon. The shards that made up her wings readjusted themselves and aimed at the beast. They too shot forth and sank but skin deep, till their ridged edges started spinning and whirring, moving all-over and all-through Mutt’s body. The Original shivered as he watched the display, having smelled the woman before, he could only imagine how foul her blood tasted.
*I watch the two being hurtling towards each other one of Shades bullets in my chest. I’m bleeding out with maybe a few more seconds to live. I know that when they collide one will be destroyed and one would prevail. There is about a 50/50 chance Zanthre will win. Either way Morgenstern perishes unredeemed and unloved. I cannot let that happen. I lift Mutts six-Shooter he had given me on the ark and look down the barrel. I fire at Morgenstern and watch the shot hit his shoulder.*
Lilith’s body suddenly stopped, just short of Morgenstern, as did her psychotic laughter. She wondered for a brief moment if he remembered what she had done to Odin. “You’re not the only one,” she sang. “Who consumes pretenders to the divine.” Morgenstern was suddenly pulled an inch towards Lilith, in one smooth jerk, before stopping. “Yes, it appears my hooks are in quite deep.” The tables turned as Morgenstern was steady pulled in Lilith’s– well, where her face was supposed to be. If he was going to devour her, it was now or never.
As the bullet hit Morgenstern, Lilith became distracted and hesitated for less than a measurable second. Unfortunately, that was all the hesitation needed for her to fail.
*I begin to reel in Lilith and laugh maniacally. She is literally inches from me before I stop and look down annoyed feeling a tiny pinch on my shoulder.* what th- *I scream and a long line of golden fire flies out of the wound straight down the barrel of Mutts six shooter. On the higher dimension the Gold orb suddenly turns forest green as the gold is pulled off of it like a skin. I slump down for a moment before straightening up and looking around, my eyes returned to their normal yellow state rather then pure gold. My wings also shimmer before turning to golden powder* What the HELL is going on?!
NONONONO IT WASNT SUPPOSED TO END LIKE THIS screamed Lilith’s being as she was sucked slowly inside of Morgenstern. She placed her left hand on his head and her right on his jaw, trying to push herself free, but, alas, her dug her hooks in deep. Lilith cried out one word before she was consumed. On that word she sent all of her divine worship and power. It left her like a white pillar shooting up from her eyes. And Lilith, the Pale Lady was gone. She looked at Morgenstern in this last few moments with the cold uncaring eyes of the business woman who had been smothered by the expectations of her worshippers. “You gain NOTHING.” And she was consumed. But, at least, Zanthre’s reemergence was abated. For now.
“That,” Lilith called, half way down Morgenstern’s throat, “belongs to me!” Lilith, the Flawless, literally clawed her way out of his mouth, stretching his mouth more then it should ever be able to. Covered in saliva, and pretty angry, as well, Lilith put her hand over the wound caused by the six-shooter, and golden flames poured into her hands. From the flames came her shining sword of golden flame, her Blade of Eden. She held the thing to Morgenstern’s throat. “Steal from me again, your head goes on my wall.” She looked at the blade, too see if it was still possessed by Zanthre. Nothing.
*I fall to the ground coughing and wretching. I look up at Shade and my eyes go wide* Elizabeth?! *I look towards Ice just in time to see him be consumed by a pillar of golden flames. I here a single cry of pain and then nothing. The flames rise for a moment before puttering out, the only thing left being a smooth golden disk*
*I fall to the ground coughing and wretching. I look up at Shade and my eyes go wide* Elizabeth?! *I look towards Ice just in time to see him slump down and then suddenly disappear as if collapsing in on himself* WOULD SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON!!!?
“I’m demolishing you.” Shade says emotionlessly as she drags Mutt, now a raw ragged hunk of flesh, healing by now, but still with an awful smell. She aimed her cannons at both Ice and Morgenstern. “This will feel so good.”
*I remember years ago Zanthre showing what he did to Elizabeth after he made Ice end her “She’s possessed with a darkness so deep and endless not even your löve can pull her back from it! A fitting punishment I think, you not able to end her and her always seeking to end you. Every second of your life is like ägony for her!” Suddenly I’m directly infront of Elizabeth. I press my head against the barrel of her gun and look into her eyes* I’m sorry. Go ahead, end your päin.
Lilith leaned on her blade as she watched the events. “Do it.” She looked intently at the frozen Shade. “Isn’t that what I promised you when I dragged you out of that pit, when I showed you how to wield your curse like a weapon? This was the deal.”
Sa’lome smiled. The Pale Lady was gone, Lilith, the Flawless, was back. Sa’lome started making a list of office supplies that she would want which the Pale Lady saw no point in.
Madama Shade simply stared at him. She had frozen supernaturally still, like a statue. “I-” she hesitated. Her face convulsed in anger. She hit Morgenstern on the side of his head with her minigun. “No! Isn’t vengeance! This isn’t retribution! This is pity!” She gritted her teeth. “This is not what I wanted! You should be–”
Lilith blew into her hand, and lavender dust flew into Shade’s face. She blinked before couching and falling limp. Cortez caught her. “Wow she’s heavier than she looks.”
Lilith nodded. “She’s mine.” She swung the Blade of Eden and a portal opened up into the Glass Room. Before walking through she absently stabbed the by-now nearly fully healed Mutt. “That’s for throwing me into the Void.” She looked back at the Hybrids as she reached the perimeter of the portal. “Are you coming?”
Moderated now of all times.
Hail Lilith,
Thanks for keeping on and for your patience with the mod filter. It means not to demonize you, it’s just that your posts often contain intricate and unusual word combinations that trigger various evolving settings over which I have limited control.
Seth
*I look at Lilith with an infinite amount of distaste. Before turning to Cortez* give her here you pansy help dad *I take Shade carefully and walk through the portal*
Thanks, Seth! I assume thats a compliment, anyway.
Cortez sighed. “No need to be rude, man.” Cortez picked up his father, his rapidly regenerating cells have off the illusion he was sizzling. “Come on, old man.” He joined Morgenstern on the other side.
The Original cleared his throat, gaining Lilith’s attention. “I suppose since the lady who locked me up is back whereas the woman who had me set free is gone, I am free of my contract?”
Lilith scoffed. “Your contract is with Lilith, who I am.” She looked down at the long white lace dress she wore, the lack of shoes and her long flowing hair. “Ugh. She had grandiose taste.” They too walked back through the portal, to the Glass Room.
Lilith observed the bustling universe around them. “Well. Damn.”
*I walk to one side of the room and a plain white couch appears. I set Elizabeth down and turn towards Lilith* So this is Lilith the buisness woman correct? Fine. I want to make a deal to clear Elizabeth of all her debt to you.
A purple flame flickers in Lilith’s hand. As she closes her fingers around it a crisp yellow scroll appears in her hand. She flicked her wrist and it unraveled into a long list of terms and conditions with elizabeth’s name signed at the bottom. “I don’t know if you understand,” she said, pointing to a specific bullet.
-I HEREBY GIVE MYSELF WHOLLY TO ONE Lilith Eden INCLUDING MY BODY, MIND, SOUL, AND WILL…-
“I literally own her. What could you offer me that would buy her out of her contract?” The paper disappeared in a rivulet of lavender sparks. “I am always listening.”
*I look at Lilith grimly* what about my mind, body, soul, and will? Even without Zanthres curse I’m nearly indestructable. And I’m the son of Mutt. He wouldn’t act out against you if I barred his way.
Lilith’s eyes shifted, considering. “Is that your only offer?”
Ehem must I remind you lilith that in the event of any transfer or “transition” the appropriate deity exemplified within myself must be called forth, and as such due to the fact morgenstern is almost handing you my key staff and hat by saying he subjugates his will onto one as yourself are it breaks the very rules of existialist logic and thus forth he can only replace that which you took from one elizabeth shade and as such no such will transfer shall occur. As this section of the agreement has been nullified a secondary draft much be created of the future contract
*I narrow my eyes* I’ll throw in all the souls that are currently screaming inside my head. I’m assuming whatever was possessing me harvested them. From what I can tell there’s a lot. *I look towards Elizabeth* whatever I have, whatever I can get, anything, so long as you free her from her contract *I look back towards Lilith* and transfer her curse into me.
*I narrow my eyes* I’ll throw in all the souls that are currently scrēäming inside my head. I’m assuming whatever was pössessing me harvested them. From what I can tell there’s a lot. *I look towards Elizabeth* whatever I have, whatever I can get, anything, so long as you free her from her contract *I look back towards Lilith* and transfer her cürse into me
I do not take free will from anyone, I am an embodiment until volition itself. Their free will is given to me, as per their own free will.
“No.” Lilith said. ” Elizabeth represents a large investment of time and research. At this point, if the darkness was to be taken from her when she had finally accepted and made her home in it, what would be left after tearing that part of her out would be little more than a bumbling idiot.” Lilith looked off for a moment, thinking. “However, her freedom from my tyranny is not out of the question. And while the darkness is permanent considerable effort could be poured into repairing the damage to her psyche and her soul,” she explained. “I believe she can freed from her compulsion. But, again, what are you willing I offer? Your body mind and soul? I can not take ownership of those souls from the underworld, they are not yours to give.”
Lilith put her fingers to her mouth. She suddenly looked up, her lavender eyes growing wide as she became aware of something. “Intriguing.” She looked to the couch mutt rested on. She sat, just next to him. “Mutt,” she whispered. “We need to talk.”
(Response to Morgenstern being modded)
*I look towards Lilith* you know I liked you much better as a delusional deity. It’s really unfortunate I’m plum out of voids to shove you into. Now what do you want?
Lilith rested Mutts head on her lap and stroked his head tenderly. “I’ve no intention of keeping this place crudely dubbed “Innocence” in line. I thought I’d give you the chance,” she purred, showing her unnaturally white teeth. “To buy back your Hybrids.” The walls were doused in violet fire as papers of silver flew from them into the air, sailing around in a prattling manner. Lilith snatched one out of the air. “It appears the Pale Lady wasn’t a complete fool. In return to an ending of their pain they signed themselves over to my property. However, in return for your involvement with my freedom I will give you the opportunity to buy them out of their contracts. And believe me,” she looked up as paper flew in and out of the room to and fro the walls of flame, in flocks, now. “There are a lot of them.”
*I look Lilith straight in the eyes* No.
“Oh?” Lilith leaned on the sofa’s arm rest, absently stroking Mutt’s head with her other hand. “Whatever will I do with them? I’ve retrieved all the alleles needed for my experiments. I’ve little use for them now.” Lilith kept reading the contract she held in her hand. “Nightshade. Such a pretty name, no?”
She looked to Morgenstern. “And what of you? Are you prepared to pay the price for Elizabeth’s freedom?” Lilith threw Nightshade’s contract back to the air where it joined the others, whom retreated back to the disappearing flames.
*Me and the chaos-high Hybrids appear in the room* I will buy your Hybrids Lilith! I forgot how fun it is to have followers! *Me and my Hybrids all dance around to music no one else can hear*
“I will bid Purgatory for the Hybrid race!” Reaper said holding out a piece of ancient parchment glowing with arcane power.
*I begin to chuckle and the to laugh* you all are inexcusably moronic. You know how dogs can sense an earthquake before it happens? Hybrids have a similar mechanism. *The walls of the glass palace turn opaque.* we are in a universe that is being actively destroyed by the Cycle, and you all thought you could barge in? No now we are all doomed. The Cycle has us in its grips, and it certainly won’t let anyone in this room survive. We’re too powerful. *I get up and the palace suddenly lurches to the side throwing me off balance. I fall against the wall and look at the entire congregation with malice* My only comfort is that no one can survive this. After all if I’m going down, you all will go down with me.
Well I bid the spear of longinus! *glares at the reaper* beat that! Lily is a sucker for biblical artifacts
*I roll my eyes* you’re all doomed.
“I bet Elvis Presley and Atlantis. Both of which I won in a poker game.”
The Reaper turns to Mutt. “Fool!” The Reaper tore open reality with a slash of his scythe and jumped through it. Closing off the portal as he left.
Lilith looked at Mutt, analyzing. “The cycle is the price of existence so…” She looked up. “I see. So, what is it you desire, Abstract?”
*I watch as Reaper appears on the other side of the room* Yeah thats not going to work. The Cycle destroys powerful things. Using a powerful object like the scythe will do you no good.
“Powerful?” Lilith smiled. “Well it’s good I she’d the skin of a Goddess.” She looked over everyone. “I’m only human. Compared to you all I’m relatively weak, I’m not the almagamation of the collective gods of deth, chaos personified, a hybrid, the original vampire, etc. my contracts give me influence, but in the end I am only human, no?” She looked to Mutt. “Ice is guarenteed survival, isn’t he?”
*I look down* if he had made it back from that other dimension. Maybe *I smile sweetly at Lilith* how unfortunate for you that when Hybrids pass on we explode. If you are truly human then you will not be able to survive me and Morgensterns demises. Or possibly the Cycle will just fling us all into a star and destroy you anyways. It isn’t that horribly indiscriminant. It probably can’t even sense your here amongst the rest of us.
Lilith shows no expression. She walks over to a book case on the far side of the room. True, she likely wouldn’t survive two hybrid explosions at the same time, and she wouldn’t be able to form a new identity yet, with no progress made in this new face towards a new lilith. She pulled out from a hollowed out book a simple wooden knife. “This is not powerful. This is simply a key.” She looked towards Mutt. “Is that not true?”
*My eyes widen and suddenly I’m rushing across the room* YOURE NOT ESCAPING THIS TIME!
The Original bolts and Mutt is suddenly pinned against the western wall by his creator. “Sorry, sonny,” he sighed. The words and terms of his contract with Lilith blaze all over his skin. “I got no choice. Not that I wouldn’t have done this anyway.” The Original glowered.
Lilith smiled. “Reaper, Eris. In return for your coming through with us I will be accepting your payments offered for the Hybrid race.”
Cortez stood in front of Morgenstern, watching him carefully. Elizabeth’s skin lit up as firey words glowed and her eyes opened, standing up robotically and walking over to Lilith.
Lilith stabbed the knife in the air and twisted, the portal opened like clockwork. She stepped through, as did Shade, then slowly Cortez and Sa’ lome, who held Penelope in cat form in her arms. The Original suddenly flew over and grabbed Morgenstern in a blur. “We have business to discuss,” Lilith. Called from the portal.
*I smile serenely* No, we really don’t. *Fire spreads from the points where the Original is touching me. He staggers back as flame engulfs him and screams. I turn towards him and raise my hand as the Fire grows larger and larger then fades into nothingness, leaving only a pile of ash on the floor. I glower at it* this time stay deceased. *Suddenly Mutt lunges at Lilith taking a claw across her forearm*
*On the opposite side of the room from Lilith a much smaller pale blue portal opens up and Haley dashes into the room* Okay! Anyone and Everyone who Lilith isn’t taking and who wants to live can get out through here….but please do so quickly…
That means stop fighting, get your butts in the portal, and then ki|| each other somewhere that isn’t doomed…*I look towards Morgenstern and Mutt* capeche?
Lilith yelped, her Blade of Eden suddenly lashing out and curving and bending in such a way as to strike Mutt’s shoulder. Cortez came behind Mutt and grabbed him in a bear hug, lifting him away from Lilith and away from the portal, dragging him to the ground. “Father stop!” Lilith did a double take.
“Cortez! What are–”
“Morgenstern quick, come through the portal!”
*A fireball appears in my hand and I fling it towards Lilith backing towards the smaller portal* Both of you go! *A spear appears in my hand and I fling it towards Lilith as the glass palace gives a violent shake* Through the portal!
Lilith bent over backwards, and watched the spear fly by overhead before grabbing it’s end just before it left her field of vision. She stood up straight and looked at Morgenstern. “I look forward,” she saidsaid walking back through the portal into the glass room. She raised her hand, the portals disappearing. She let out a breath. “To finally ending.” She dropped the spear and the void key. She walked over to the wall and sat down leaning against it. she listened as the walls began to crack and fracture. “You know, my husband shared your name. He was a lot like you when I met him. Young, ambitious, powerful, and majestic.” She looked wit tired eyes over to Morgenstern. “They’re all out safely now. I had to keep the charade up for reputation’s sake,” she smiled. Lilith kicked the void key over to Morgenstern. “You can still go if you like. I won’t blame you for leaving me.”
*Haley braces herself as the palace shakes and looks towards Akantha who having stepped away from the portal is now coming back dragging Reaper and Eris through the portal*
*I look down at the key for a moment before raising my hand. I watch the key go up in flames.* only one void key left now… Well besides Zyboragons… *I look at Lilith as the glass cracks* not even you deserve to d|e alone. Besides perhaps my demise will bring Elizabeth some peace. Perhaps it will end her agony. *Light blazes through one of the cracks a piercing blinding light. I sigh* do you think it will hurt?
“Perhaps but,” she tilted her head and smiled. “What is but one more prick of pain, to creatures like us?”
*A final smile crosses my face before with an audible crack the glass shatters and the blinding light obscures everything*
Cortez leans over to Mutt as Lilith takes down the veil around them. He whispers, “This is gonna be good.” He offers Reaper some popcorn. “Want some?”
*Penelope chuckles*
For king reaper, you sure are ignorant of the laws, only a joint desicion of the monarch AND the Shinigami council can authorize that kind of attack…
They just got humiliated with an event involving you…
I don’t know if they will be quite so open to you at the moment…
Mabey, if David Hatter was brought to them, they may change their minds considering he’s their top priority…
Just a thought…
TL
*A swirl of purple appears on the ground next to penelope and the hatter rises out of it* fun fact, since I made TL’s body the shinigami thought I had made a fake scythe as well when I pointed out that he was of my craftsmanship. And if someone can make a false human body, that is not through actual birth but through earth, dragon spirit, and the fires of healing. Then they can’t really take any evidence as truly existent due to it being circumstantial and you can’t make an entire case out of circumstantial evidence they had no actual choice but to absolve my crimes if any from the record. I am not a wanted man. Oh and reaper I was given this after strict instruction that I wanted someone else to give it to you *i hand The reaper his scythe which he had lost a few weeks before* HAPPY BIRTHDAY REAPER!!!! wait when did you say it was tomorrow? Because I hope you said that yesterday.
*Haley’s eyes grow wide at the Scythe* Any Idea where my basket is Hatter? It seems everyone is finding their weapons now…
Sorry Haley, wait is it about a foot high and a mixture of wicker and gold? Because I saw something of that description being held a few days previous by a bunny eating a snickers bars
Umm…yeah. That does sound about right. I’m mostly concerned with the herbs and potions inside of it though. Were they by chance still there?
Yes, that does sound about right. Are the herbs still inside?
I couldn’t tell
He he he my world of random right here:
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ FLIP THAT TABLE.
┻━┻ ︵ ヽ(°□°ヽ) FLIP THIS TABLE.
┻━┻ ︵ ＼\(‘0’)/／ ︵ ┻━┻ FLIP ALL THE TABLES
ಠ_ಠ Son…
ಠ_ಠ Put.
ಠ__ಠ The tables.
ಠ___ಠ Back.
(╮°-°)╮┳━┳
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ NEVER
Hahahahahaha Oh My Ganesh what young people can do with computers nowadays is both spectacular and hilarious.
Well…in that case…I’ll have to be more creative…
(\_/)
(^v^)
(>##<) But then, I was like "This waffle be lookin' mighty fine" and I didn't think you would mind
(\_/)
(^.^)
(vv) ….so I ate it
Wow… the site ki||ed that
I don’t get it…
Yeah… Let me attempt this again
(\_/)
(^.^)
(>##<) But then "I was like this waffle be lookin' mighty fine"
(\_/)
(^.^)
(v v) and I didn't think you would mind. So I ate it.
ye- No…. the entire first half keeps getting deleted. I give up.
Well that sucks…
Indeed
Wanna hear a real corny joke?
Sure
Why don’t you play poker in the jungle?
Because there are a lot of cheetahs….
That joke is older than my grandfather.
I tried I never said it funny anyways…
This fandangled Technology, I don’t trust it. They call me a geaser just because I don’t know how to work technologies like Netflix, HELL it took me three years to learn how the computer and the internet work. I’m just old school, with elbow grease and good old know how I manage to get my work done. Anybody else as much of an elder as me?
He he that’s funny…I still don’t get the concept of Facebook and snapchat but yet Twitter I get perfectly…
I sort of have a Facebook but don’t really get it, I do not know what is a snap chat or a Twitter, is twitter a bird? It sounds like the name of a bird.
Nope Twitter is a social networking…you basically have 140 characters to say something quick…and that is called a tweet…tadaa social networking 101 over here…
Anyone here know how to communicate with someone’s spirit animal?
You’ve found yours? That’s great! 😀 I haven’t found mine yet, but I suppose meditating would help with communication.
No I haven’t found her but I was marked so she should be here
Maybe you should then wait for her to show herself to you.
Have you shifted yet? Maybe she is waiting to appear until you shift.
No, I haven’t shifted..and maybe, I just wish I knew..
Hail Vyriae,
Thanks for your SOS message. Others on the site have more experience with spirit animals than I do, but one lesson I learned from the great druidess Belladonna Jade Asphodel Nightshade is that placing a certain talismans beneath your pillow at night can bring good things like spirit animals, dream cations. Choosing the right talisman is up for debate. Nobody needs a nightmare – or a stiff neck.
Thanks for keeping on!
Seth
Thanks, I’ll look for some talismans c:
A simple dream catcher may suffice, however what is used to weave it’s threads is very important. I can weave a dream catcher from the vines of the trees, and gave one to my mother 8 years ago, hasn’t had a nightmare since. Human hair, often serves as a talisman for vitality when weaved into a dream catcher. Dog hair as a ward against evil. Clovers a luck charm. Surprising what charms you an make with a dream catcher’s structure.
Would you have any recommendations for this certain talisman?
Hail Vyriae,
Thanks for your reply. The right talisman… that is indeed the tricky part. The wrong talisman could have unpredictable consequences. You could wake up in the morning with a tuna fish sandwich in your hand dripping seaweed. <<--- actual case file. Turned out to be a mermish talisman... Definitely do your research! At SOS we will try to keep you posted, if you keep on keeping on. Seth
I would use sinew string it works best the anchients has pave been using it ever since…but it make sure you bless it first because then it’s easier to receive what you want to recieve and remove what you don’t want…heh heh I just realize how quickly that recommendation pop in my mind…must be that dream thing I have…
Um…I’m not sure I can remember my memory is just plain awful…I guess it helps to write things down…now if I find my book of shadows I might be of help here…
Thank you, hope you can find it
I hope so too…I’m in need of decluttering my room…
Or as my brother used to say organized in a way that only you can find where everything is. I however am quite the neat freak, I keep my room tidy in case guests arrive.
I’m organized in a way that I know where everything is, lol
If you turn life’s tables upside down, you can find the sticky gum of humor that looks like Abraham Lincoln riding a hog monkey.
-Drache’s brother
Famous quotes from the ever unprecedented mind of a mad man……………. ‘s brother
Um….ok?
Well not everybody has time to clean nor really feels like cleaning…cleaning is so boring and I lose focus so easily….I end up saying I’ll finish cleaning some other then that other time becomes next month and it’s trash all over again…and the cycle continues until I’m threaten to keep it clean(which only lasts a month or two) or else everything gets thrown in a bag and gets burn, but to me I say why not stuff is stuff I’m not materialistic and it solves a problem….but does that ever happen? Nope…when it comes to cleaning I’m indolent about it…now about that book it shouldn’t be hard to find because I wrapped it in cloth to keep all the negative energies away from it…O Bon deuix I think I know where I put it…gosh I love secret hiding spots….
Hail Scarlett,
Thanks for looking into the matter. Keeping track of a Book of Shadows must be a complicated situation. I assume it disappears when you turn on the light?
Be sure and look behind the toaster.
Long may you keep on keeping on.
Seth
Oh ha ha that’s real funny… 🙄 don’t start with the wisecracks…I have a hard enough finding that thing when it’s in plain sight…I have bathtub moments…
I need to declutter mine too, lol, but I hoard memories
I know how my spirit animal looks like I turned in to my wolf form in my dream once so this is how I know my spirit animal is a wolf so it had red eyes like leafpool told me when I asked her how will I look like in wolf form and I don’t know how to describe the color of my fur in my dream anyways I’m baaack
Hail WWG,
Congrats on this discovery and thanks for your SOS message. Any idea how to summon your spirit animal to you?
Seth
Thanks seth but I really don’t know but I will find out one day and I won’t give up
Oh and you forgot to day keep on keeping on
Hail WWG,
Keep on keeping on!
🙂
Survival depends on it.
Seth
I mean say
😎 …. I knew you’d find her sooner or later. Your fur, could the word you are looking for be “metallic” or “static”?
Remember how we talked about how Lightening wolves can make lightening and channel electricity?
Ya I do remember
Welcome back survivors of ye olde days
Does anyone realize there’s no rhyme for month, silver or angel? Weird…
Vampires are responsible for language.
Vampires also came up with chess
Uhm… Gel, tell, will, bill, nill, mill, krill, it depends on the way you are trying to rhyme it. Oh and sliver, beaver, manager, hatter, matter, adder, bladder, babysitter, knitter, fitter, cobbler, haberdasher, as well as any word ending in “th”
That made no sense and they don’t rhyme….
erm….yeah… they kinda do
Silver…er? Angel…al? Month…pft? They do not rhyme…maybe silver but not really…
The majority he listed rhyme. You just need to place a fair bit of emphasis on the endings.
You know what? I’m throwing my hands in air and I’m going to say this very loudly…”Show me something!”….because I can and because I’m tired of explaining…
Dragons are responsible for mathematics.
Drache also influenced ancient Latin, ergo Spanish and all Latin derived languages of the world.
I Have discovered that the Pizza joint I mentioned a few day’s back has a dark past.. I will later release history about it but not now.. this pizza joint is officially involved with the supernatural..
-MM1
Hey it’s you!!!! O mi goodness how ha been dewwin my friend?
Hail MM1,
Thanks for the paranormal pizza update. I will look for this and list them in my supernaturally suspicious pizza guide.
Seth
Oh…..please for the love of Vishnu tell me the pizza place is not called Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, if it is, grab your torches people, burn the place down.
Freddy Fazbear’s is still around? I thought I already torched the place…
Multiple restaurants, oh and mathias here did in fact go to freddy fazbear’so pizzeria
Never going there, not after that game, what was it called…..Five Night’s at Freddy’s I would like to stick to being alive thank you.
I hate sausage…worst invention of food ever…
Here is a cookie
(o_o) I want that cookie
(~_~) do you now?
(o_O) yes!!!
(‘_’) really?
(*-*) yes…
(‘_’) I ate it
(XoX) y-y-you didn’t?
(‘_’) I did
(._.) sowwy
(-_-;) you are a disgrace…R.I.P. Dear cookie