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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

Seth

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Bigfoot Bounty Debate

(SOS/ASAP/WTF) Ohio – Email this week from a survivor contained this horripilating photo, below. Aboriginal hunters brandishing the head of a Sasquatch! Is this real historical proof of aboriginal responsibility for the North American Sasquatch hunt? The “Bigfoot Bounty” that almost wiped out our reclusive cousins?

I know what you’re thinking. I thought the same thing. The photo is clearly a fake. Aboriginal people are werewolves!¬†Everybody knows that. And a werewolf would never hunt a Sasquatch.

Or would they? Read on for the shocking answers…

Photographic proof of a Bigfoot Bounty?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The photo, which hangs on the wall of a roadside diner in the heart of Ohio, depicts an aboriginal family posing for a photograph with the head of a Bigfoot, as if ready to redeem it for a wooden nickel at the local trading post.

And while we have no way of knowing for sure if these particular Aboriginal people are in fact werewolves, it seems very likely. After all, while it may be true that not all Werewolves are Aboriginal, it’s very apparent that all or most Aboriginal people are werewolves. Why else would these particular Aboriginals be covered in blankets like this in a photograph? Clearly they have just transformed back into human form, and have yet to locate their clothing and their friend on the horse has given them blankets to cover up.

So what of the Sasquatch head?

Well, clearly it’s a fake. Werewolves and Bigfoots lived in harmony. Everyone knows that. Sure sometimes they would argue over a favorite cave or tree. But they could usually work it out, bonding over Abominable Snowman jokes. Like, what do you get if you cross an Abominable Snowman with a Vampire? (Answer = frostbite.) Because at the end of the day, the Werewolves would transform back to Aboriginal form and leave the Bigfoot alone.

Furthermore, most historians now agree it was the feet that paid the bounty, not the head at all. Otherwise every hirsute human with a big bushy face would be in danger. Remember, this was in the days of the straight razor, way before my Mach VI and almost any man could be mistaken for a bigfoot on a bad day. Officials learned their lesson and paid for the feet – 5 cents a pair.

So on behalf of SOS, I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to all of my aboriginal friends. We know that you, as responsible werewolves, had nothing to do with the eradication of sasquatch depicted in this photo.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

5 comments to Bigfoot Bounty Debate

  • Bebe

    Sound’s like alot of trouble…… Giggle. They do make great snacks if your list in the woods….. Giggle

  • Ice

    If they were Navajo they might have been skinwalkers. I’d believe skinwalkers would hunt bigfoot.

    • Hail Ice,

      A belated thanks for bringing this up. After some preliminary Skinwalker research I am inclined to agree this is a possibility. Seems like Skinwalkers may have a different moral compass than your average werewolf, who as we know would never attack a Bigfoot. Skinwalkers gain their ability to shift into wolf, bear, fox or cougar form by committing some secret and morally questionable acts which may include killing family members… and possibly even a Bigfoot or Sasquatch.

      I’m currently looking into the use of white ash to fight the skinwalkers – as you know we may have one on the site right now. Have you heard anything about the use of white ash? And does this refer to the TREE or like, ashes left from a fire.

      As soon as I have clarification I will be stocking up as we appear to be experiencing a shapeshifter attack here on the site.

      Thanks for keeping on with survival!

      Seth

  • firefang

    Seth I have a question I need a containment crib inside my house in my room do u know who for me to make one I’m not aloud out of the house yet

  • Squatch

    I think they are skinwalkers. A buddy of mine named Berrigan is an Aboriginal werewolf. I actually haven’t encountered a skinwalker on my travels yet. I’ll keep my eyes peeled. No, literally– my eyelids rotted off two months ago.

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