When he lived in Virginia, USA, the Bunny Man or Bunnyman worked in a chocolate factory in Fairfax county as a mascot in a white bunny suit. His job was simple, to promote a newly invented product – white chocolate.
The Bunny Man’s real identity was a closely guarded secret but everybody was happy and excited to meet him when he appeared on holidays, including Easter to give away his hugs and free samples of white chocolate. As one of the world’s first mascots, the Bunny Man quickly became famous.
But in October, 1970 things began to fall apart for the Bunny Man. The world just wasn’t ready for white chocolate and especially not here, in Fairfax County, home of the famous chocolate festival. White chocolate just didn’t make sense to them. How could you have chocolate without, well, chocolate?
When the company’s explanations sounded frankly racist to many and it was observed that the Bunny Man mascot resembled nothing more than a member of the KKK itself.
This was the last straw. Both white chocolate and Bunny Man got the axe…
Losing his job and his fame pushed the Bunny Man inside the mask over the edge. They gave him the axe so…
That’s when the Bunnyman put down his Easter basket and picked up an axe of his own. Bunnyman historian Brian A. Conley documents the very real police reports of the man in the white bunny costume who began attacking people in parked cars with this axe, smashing through their windows and threatening to kill them.
But after 50 reported incidents and no deaths yet, police eventually dismissed the Bunny Man as a harmless if crazy vandal. This further insult had a devastating effect on the real Bunny Man. He would have to up his game. Dead bunnies were reported hanging from trees. Worse, his wife and children were reportedly found dead on Easter Sunday.
Nobody knows exactly how or when Bunny Man killed himself. Did he really throw himself off the Bunnyman Bridge? It is named after him. Or did he jump in front of the train? Or did he, as many now believe, actually drown himself in a giant vat of white chocolate after sneaking into the factory one night? <<— As a totally impartial supernatural survivologist, you probably can’t even tell which one I believe.
Nobody knows for sure but it’s clear the real Bunny Man had passed because his spirit began appearing everywhere. These sightings are well-documented by others, but my job as an impartial scientifically certified supernatural survivologist is to talk about How to Beat the Bunny Man, so you can enjoy your holiday horde without fear!
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
Ok this makes me think that someone on this site will run screaming Irish swear words into a walmart and with a 3 foot sledge hammer repeatedly attack the chocolate on display leading to an arrest of a person screaming “I AM THE WALRUS” at police officers is that weird?
Not at all. Hatter, can I borrow some bail money? They don’t accept iTunes gift codes, I asked but they put me in jail anyway.
Sure, wait you did it didn’t you, but anyway tell them to go to the airport and tell the receptionist that terrence ‘adder wants to give you charity to be repaid later.
REAPER!!!
Why on earth would you drink a confiscated potion labeled: Shrink Juice
Hey don’t shake your fist at me!
http://imgur.com/J1z4MUG
RB
Ok that is so obviously a halloween decoration it isn’t funny
If only that were true hatter, if only that were true.
You of all people would know the dangers of “drink me”
I would think…
You don’t have any “eat me” on you do you?
RB
*tosses Noah a small cake with the words “eat me” inscribed upon it* not anymore that was my last one
Thanks hatter 🙂
*takes a crumb and shoves it into tiny reapers mouth*
Puts eat me back in cloak*
I think you should open a bakery in the underworld
People down here would love it, plus because it’s enchanted it Won’t turn into Pommigranits 🙂
RB
I would but I’m not the one who makes those cakes, plus with the fact they last like honey I am almost never near the guy who makes them
Tell him when you get the chance id like to put in an order for 5000
(Ps, does he also brew his own drink me, because that stuff is everywhere down here, it’s like somone is littering bottles of the stuff all over RHQ)
RB
Although the stuff labeled “drink me” is littered through out RHQ you must remember that the stuff as well as the cakes come from wonderland, and that last night I moved the entirety of the underworld which contains RHQ to wonderland due to a threat from creatures from the Void. just come topside in wonderland and keep asking for a baker for a few “eat me” cakes
I don’t have any more, and I’m not the one who makes them. But you can get some yourself if you can catch the white rabbit and get him to tell you where he gets them,
Seth…oh my god…you’ve gone too far this time. xD I will eat the bunny and after my ‘egg hunt’ with my cousins I’ll go on a shooting trip if you know what I mean. Most survivors here know how to protect themselves. Just know this…I see the bunnyman…well lets just say he won’t be a threat anymore. 😈
The Void portal has gone critical… The Voidlords are coming… If they reach this dimension I would recommend we all find ourselves a new universe to settle down in… We are boned people.
Ok *does hat trick and goes to wonderland bringing mary5544 and the underworld with him* oh and sorry about relocating the underworld again Noah
HALT!!!✋
You dare transit the planes without a passport!
I don’t care if the void Iis opening!
Paperwork on this must be filed there are steps to be taken
A suggestion, if I may…. When the void lords are in transit to our world, we redirect the spatial bridge to send them to a virtual recreation of our world.
Or, perhaps while they are in transit we could somehow transport our universe to the void, thus our dimension would become a new “void” and then the void would nbecome the location of our dimension, as such…
Or, and only as a last resort, we make a deal with Hecate, and I’m not just talking about the maiden who participates on this site. The Crone, her Cthonic Majesty, holds dominion over all things “beyond” such as the unfathomable entities outside our reality that can only be described as lovecraftian and, presumably, the Void. And even then if she doesn’t well need all the help we can get if were gonna take on the void lords. I’m willing to contribute all the things i took from Eden if need be, even the Apples and the Sword. Brothers and sisters, our survival lies only in harmony.
Mother of mine, you must not make a deal with hecate, she is only deception and pain, I know this, promise me that, please. I suggest a different route, but it will take the great work, which I know you have compleated, only you’ve been keeping it a secret from us.
No matter.
The only way is destroy the world with them on it and reconstruct it with out them. That is the only way to ensure they will not follow us where ever we may go.
RB
Hold thy tongue! I’ve worked too long and too hard to see the Great Work used for something so primeval, the Work shall be preserved until the moment of our existence, then, and ONLY then, will I invoke it…
Lilith, I need you to smuggle me into Eden, if it’s even possible, how can a snake like you enter anyway. I suffer the curse that should bind you…
RB
I left the garden of my own volition, despite my many abhorrent actions I did not partake of the fruit, I did not fall. My child, you could not walk Eden, but consult with the Queen of the Crossroads. All roads lead to Hecate, my sweet.
By the fruit I have risen and by the fruit I shall fall, I have nothing left wager. This curse keeps me alive, but it’s sinking my spirit as well. Either way, what do I have to lose?
*a sad smile lurks across RB’s face*
From his coat he pulls Anubis’s dagger and procedes to touch it to hi lips…
See ya in another life Lilith…
*the storm that surrounded RB fades to nothing as he falls to the ground cold*
RB
No! Insolent child, as reckless and arrogant as I am… We shall meet again. Nothing is permanent, not even de ath….
*with only a single spark in his eye he says to lilith*
Check mate.
*the spark fades from his eyes*
RB
Reaper clean up on the Easter warning page oh and if you can find the actual Egyptian god Anubis tell him that Noah forgot his wrappings and that he is needed. If he asks why he needs to go tell him “uoy era dellac” he will know I was there when it happened
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Meow
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Meow
One cannot stop a void lord. The Void exists specifically to keep them contained… They will come to this dimension and purge it, turning it into an extension of the Void. It’s to late… They have made it to the portal… Have mercy on your souls *a dark fire consumes Mutt and he burns away to dust*
The Mutt has fallen… No Void experts exist now… In the words of the Mutt, we are boned beyond all boning…
With recent events in knowledge reaper you should come to Noah’s burial, and to all survivors who can come please know that the sentiment is greatly appreciated by Penelope the cat/laptop/scythe and I only with that Noah had not passed away as he had Seth please roll the counter back 2 for what has happened this day
No Hatter… I’m sending Anubis in my place, I need to be alone… De ath may be my job, but I never handle it when it comes to the ones close to me… Di Immortales… How dare they leave me…
Sorry reaper but Penelope really wants you to come to the burial, she says it will be done “reaper style” and that you have to be there
I can read Binary Hatter… Penolope, can’t you just have another reaper do it? I need to figure this out…
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Meow
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*The Reaper sighs in defeat.* As you wish Penelope, but know I am doing this for you, and Hatter… I can’t forgive Noah and the Mutt for abandoning me on this earthly plane…
Umm reaper who says they abandoned you? Mutt just burst into flames and disintegrated and Noah opened his own mouth in both instances it looks like they were taken away from you not, that they abandoned you
They left me here… I am 10,018 years old… They didn’t take me to the other side. *The Reaper lets out a short bitter laugh.* And they didn’t even say goodbye. Ha, I envy them so. Oh my, irony is delicous isn’t it? The last de ath above ground, only wants to perish. *The Reaper continues laughing like a madman.*
Didn’t you hear Noah’s last words “check mate” it’s an old joke of his, in chess a check mate is made when the “King” has no legal moves left, it’s his and my version of saying “there was no other way it could happen good bye my friends” and mutt burned before he could say goodbye it’s not his fault.
I’m a bitter old man in the body of an angst filled teenager… I’m not exactly a person who considers those things…
I’m a born warrior in the body of a rebellious teenager why wouldn’t I point that out?
My father abandons no one Reaper… He couldn’t stop this anymore then he could prevent his other deaths…. It may take months or years, but someday he will reform… *images flash through my mind, father dying in a dark cave, father being consumed by Ęvil, father being turned to stone by Zanthre*…. He will return someday. He always does. Until then we need to ensure that there is a world for him to return to.
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Meow
Meow
Meow
Why can’t I see my whole reply?
RB
😡 No… No… NOOOOOOO! *The Reaper flips over a table and screams in rage* THIS CAN’T HAVE HAPPENED! IT CAN’T HAVE HAPPENED! THEY CAN’T BE GONE, THEY CAN’T! *The Reaper storms off towards a cave, his jeans and T-Shirt changed into a cloak and black medieval garb.* They left me… How could they… How could they leave me…
Who left reaper? By the way you still look awesome.
Who do you think Hatter… I have no family,and it’s not like Squatch is much help to me… The Mutt and Noah… They got to move on… I’m earthbound….
Want to know a secret reaper? Some of the greatest and most well loved men and women in my eyes never got to leave the surface or the underworld for millennia and the greatest yet of those men likes dressing up as a ice cream truck driver, calls me by my last name, was a roommate with a Sasquatch, started a survival website at 10,000 years old, defeat a great serpent in one try, became a SoTM during a moon that belongs to Artemis, and still thinks he is alone, well guess what because they never said I couldn’t do this again after that fateful Sunday afternoon, *holds out his right hand and a scythe appears in it and his flesh starts to flicker and disappear until it is gone and his tweed jacket starts changing into a black cloak* I will take those 400 if you want to do something else, or I can just go back to my legal form. But remember it’s always an option to just give it to me and give up,
I appreciate the offer Hatter, but the only way I’ll ever get out of my contract with the shingiami, is if I perish by their hand or become one myself… Besides, Noah would want me to keep my word until the bitter end… More bitter than most, but you know.
Ok then, *the scythe disappears and hatter returns to his normal tweed jacket green Hawaiian shirt and top hat his flesh returning as well* but remember it’s always an offer I am willing to make, oh and isn’t it true that Noah’s shingiami soul will be looking for a new body to inhabit at his burial so technically if it chooses your body you would become one right? Or at least that is true from my understanding of the rules,
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Meow
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It would be an honour Penelope for me to come and although I wish I could speak for the reaper and say he would come as well I don’t think it it a good idea he is still getting over the shock of the fact that Noah has left his position open
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Meow
Meow
Meow
Ok I will get him to come but this better not be another Bank of America scheme that results in Noah coming back in some fantastical way and being crazier but even more likeable than ever
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Meow
Meow
Meow
Sorry Penelope it’s just he is kinda crazy and has in fact faked his d eath before. I will make sure that the reaper or as he called himself “Matrix” is at the burial, and I understand that it is a lot to go through but Noah just like G, has his reasons for everything and was… No is a great man right up there with Orion and Thanatos.
Might I, too, attend the ceremony? Please, I may not have been the best mother, but…
The guest list for Noah’s funeral,
Lilith,
Penelope,
the reaper,
David A. Hatter,
Did Penelope forget to give you your invite?
For translation: http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp
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Meow
Meow
Meow
Thank you penelope… I can’t help but wonder, perhaps if the Great Work was… no, I can’t let my thoughts be clouded. But, if the Fruit of–
No, the Work must be preserved. This is a day of mourning. I must control myself.
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Meow
Meow
Meow
I just notice how scary Christmas songs sound in Irish Gaelic this Is halloween as an example
Buachaillí agus cailíní de gach aois
Ní Ar mhaith leat rud éigin aisteach a fheiceáil?
Tar le linn agus beidh tú a fheiceáil
Seo, ár mbaile ar Oíche Shamhna
Is é seo an Oíche Shamhna, Is é seo Oíche Shamhna
Pumpkins scream i marbh na hoíche
Is é seo an Oíche Shamhna, gach duine a dhéanamh ar radharc
Trick nó a chóireáil till an comharsana gonna bás de phreab
Tá sé ar ár bhaile, gach duine scream
Sa bhaile seo Oíche Shamhna
Tá mé an ceann i bhfolach faoi do leaba
Fiacla talamh géar agus súile glowing dearg
Tá mé an ceann i bhfolach faoi mise staighre
Fingers cosúil le nathracha agus damháin alla i mo chuid gruaige
Is é seo an Oíche Shamhna, is é seo Oíche Shamhna
Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna!
Sa bhaile seo tugaimid baile
Tá ag gach duine hail leis an amhrán pumpkin
Sa bhaile seo, ní féidir linn grá sé anois?
Gach duine ag fanacht leis an iontas eile
Babhta an chúinne, fear i bhfolach sa féidir le bruscar
Rud atá ag fanacht anois le pounce, agus howl beidh tú …
Scream! Is é seo an Oíche Shamhna
Dearg ‘n’ dubh, glas slimy
Nach bhfuil tú scanraithe?
Bhuel, sin é ach fíneáil
Abair sé aon uair amháin, a rá sé faoi dhó
Glac an deis agus an dísle a rolladh
Taisteal leis an ghealach sa marbh na hoíche
Gach duine scream, gach duine scream
In ár mbaile Oíche Shamhna!
Tá mé an fear grinn leis an cuimilt-away aghaidh
Anseo i flash agus imithe gan rian
Tá mé an “a” nuair a ghlaonn tú, “Cé atá ann?”
Tá mé an ghaoth ag séideadh trí do chuid gruaige
Tá mé an scáth ar an ngealach ar an oíche
Líonadh do aisling go barr le phreab
Is é seo an Oíche Shamhna, is é seo Oíche Shamhna
Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna!
Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna!
Lumplings Tairisceana i ngach áit
Saol aon spraoi gan scanradh mhaith
Sin ár n-post, ach nach bhfuil i gceist againn
In ár mbaile Oíche Shamhna
Sa bhaile seo
Ná bhreá linn é anois?
Gach duine ag fanacht leis an iontas eile
D’fhéadfadh creatlach Jack ghabháil leat sa chúl
Agus scream cosúil le mBean
Déan duit a léim amach as do chraiceann
Is é seo an Oíche Shamhna, scread duine
Wont ‘ya do thoil ar bhealach a dhéanamh le haghaidh Guy an-speisialta
Is é ár Jack fear Rí na paiste Pumpkin
Tá ag gach duine hail chuig an Rí Pumpkin, anois!
Is é seo an Oíche Shamhna, is é seo Oíche Shamhna
Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna! Oíche Shamhna!
Sa an áit seo tugaimid baile
Tá ag gach duine hail leis an amhrán pumpkin
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Meow
Meow
Meow
That isn’t mr. Mutt that is his son ice, oh and I understand that Noah is no longer a survivor but I find even when you are 100% certain of something you can be just as wrong, but dwelling on the past isn’t good for the future, oh and btw as Janus I can tell you with master list certainty that Noah will come back just in time for the reaper to go horseback riding. Oh and if you know what the term shingiami-sama means that would be just as good I just remembered those words out of context and need to understand what they mean
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Meow
Meow
Meow
Sheol? The original name for hell. Oh and please know that Egypt has an old trick in their underworld the feather of truth, the same feather happens to come from what you might call a Phoenix or a firebird, fire of course purifies if used right and well the pure might carry their prisons with them but they hold no curses, and some know passing away as a way to come back even better than before so don’t bury him yet.
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Meow
Meow
Meow
It’s not that I want to try to do it but I have already reached across dimensions for that guy why not try raising him from the afterlife, oh and reaper if your reading this I might need Anubis to help me with this please bring him to the site
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Meow
Meow
Meow
Ok 1) a jacket is not a mutt 2) your right Anubis is easy to steal from 3) I wanted the reaper to reply not you
Jackel*
Reaper closes his eyes in concentration, and then begins whispering in Arabic. “أنا كنت استدعاء الكلب كبير يا مصر. الانضمام إلينا الآن في أحلك لدينا، وأيضا، وجلب جيوب ساخنة!” Reaper then passes out, and waits for the Jackal to come.
Ok reaper what is it with you and hot pockets?
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Meow
Meow
Meow
Ok that seems like the weirdest thing to be credited for ever, and completely awesome in 12 different ways
Luckily ive got translator websites on my side
*I stare out at the writhing hordes of the Void, amassing at the portal entrance. They don’t know what I know, they’ve not seen what I’ve seen. They think themselves invincible… They are not. The sword crafted from the essence of the Void burns coldly in my hand as I give an imperceptable nod. Hybrids descend apon the horde… The second Void War begins*
Give me time cordenants, and I’ll be there the second I can. The army of chaos stands with you. I can help put away some of them.
*I awoke suddenly, and nodded.* Anubis is on his way… For now, I have a war to attend. *I then storm off pulling out my scythe. I have had many names throughout the centuries, but none of them as important as this. This name, Matrix. This one will be a hero. I have been fighting for so long, so very long. I am tired, if this is to be my last fight? I will have it amongst my friends! I AM THE REAPER! I jump into the Void, watching the Hybrids as the fight. My Scythe hums with power, and I start cutting through the horde*
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*penelope jumps into the fray, claws fully extended humming with the same unnatural energy as reaper’s*
*an army of Shinigami follow*
Meow
Meow
Meow
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Meow
Meow
Meow
You called for me? Where is Reaper? I brought his hot pockets. *I hold up a box of Hot Pockets and grin with my jackal head.*
Hello there Anubis, sorry to do this but I guess I have to say it, Noah of ark both stole and used on himself your dagger, and now we might need your help bringing him back I might say I am calling in a favour because of the fact that I am Horus’s therapist. But long story short we need to bring him back before his body decays beyond saving will you help?
He wasnt reaped was he hatter cause i think kurogane could bring him back cause kuro is a necromancer err wait RB is a reaper then Reaper could
Oh he was reaped, he even did it himself. And plus necromancy goes against rule 2 of magyk you can’t bring anyone back from the afterlife, but of course if the body never decays it isn’t in the afterlife yet so we need to make sure that we can get the owner of the scythe/dagger to undo his work and put Noah’s soul back into his body, oh and please know that having Noah brought back kuroganes way makes it so that there is no certainty that Noah’s soul will return to the body.
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Meow
Meow
Meow
But hes a reaper if you look in one of his photos hes just a skeleton with his cat Penelope in the backround. Maybe RB faked his death and ran to canada or something without penelope knowing
Good thing i dont really like white chocolate when you liquefy it, it looks like something that ummm babies come from… not the egg but uhh i cant say it
Uhhh something is wrong with the website again whenever im on it on my ipad its all zoomed out and it should be at 100% zoom not 15% zoom plz fix i think it might be on all mobile devices
*i wrench my sword out of the last void lungs body and watch it dissolve* we hold the portal…. For now.. *i survey the many chard patches of ground where Hybrids had passed on* too many… *images start flashing through my head and I growl in pain*