Nobody could be more surprised than me that Agent RB would win Survivor of the Month. After all, when he first came to SOS in 2013, it was with a summons from the underworld for yours truly. I was to stand trail for charges of assisting in the survival of condemned souls and it took the expensive efforts of an entire team of demon lawyers working alongside many other survivors on the site to beat those first charges.
But in the intervening months, RB proved himself to be fair and impartial, if not enthusiastically pro-survival. Sure he may still be compiling 1000 page dossiers on each and every survivor who stops by the site. And yeah, he is still not above collecting on unpaid infernal debts. But he has also proven to be a valuable source of information and not to mention a great defender of Wisconsonites – and he did manage to negotiate one more year for me here in the over world, for which I am grateful. When does that expire again? I better check…
RB is still not keen on most mortals, especially not mortal humans, but in the event of another great flood, you may be able to count on him for a ticket to his Ark. Providing he can remember where he parked it. And of course, you can’t guarantee he won’t be the cause of that flood especially if he has a migraine but hey, who doesn’t like a bit of rain?
Still over the many months that he has been contributing to the SOS database, RB has undergone many changes in his life. Some good, some not so good. I will try in this profile to lay those out for you now FYI so you will understand the complexity of the survivor you’re dealing with now…
The SOS Saga of Agent RB
–>> As mentioned, RB began as a straight shooting police officer of the underworld, shade class 5th in command. A stickler for paperwork and protocol, you could count on RB for a fair trail, if not to turn a blind eye. He worked hard to remain neutral or as he puts it, unfavored by both the under and over worlds. If you had loose ends or unpaid debts in the underworld, his job at the time was to find you and get you to trial. A job which to his credit, he always executed in a fair and impartial way, with great deference to the correct rules and procedures.
–>>But this job wasn’t his exactly his choice. It was in fact a life sentence. A punishment for something he had done during his mortal life. What did he do exactly? Well it appears that RB had been a sorcerer of with great elemental power who played a particularly cruel game on the world once, deploying a massive flood that became a part of history. In honour of this event he called himself Noah of Ark, which explains why he sometimes signs his posts as Noah and performs grim readings for children who survive great floods.
–>>Having successfully completed his mission here on SOS earned RB a chance at a dubious promotion. He could be released from his job, defeating a Shinigami named Rizoriregoon in armed combat. While at first it appeared that RB succeeded, it soon became clear that his opponent had in fact joined him in a most unusual way as a result of the fight.
(Although on the bright side, he became along with Reaper, a founding member of the Society of Grim Reapers.)
–>> This change wasn’t all bad though. He became a big defender of the state of Wisconsin. Possibly it was the cheese or the fact that he claims this state holds the biggest reaper stronghold in the mortal world but he successfully defended it from the wrath of Azreal on at least two occasions. And after a chance encounter with a Cupid he acquired a family of supernatural inlaws who continue to haunt him…
–>>After that, things got weirder when the Singularity got to RB. In a freak electrical storm brought on by March madness, his personae became fused with his cat and RB has never quite been the same. Although it does appear to have softened his link to the Underworld, Among other strangenesses still under research…
Understand though, even the SOTM prize can’t guarantee RB ‘s sanity. He is still way too prone to long posts in dead languages and binary. And he still appears to be missing his spirit and too unwilling to let anyone help him regain it. And he still has a burning hole where his heart once beat for the Reapers who have spent too long in the Overworld, in his opinion those who have may have gone a little soft on us mortals. And The Reaper in particular. But in general, you can rely on RB to let you know where you stand with a flurry of flaming paperwork and for that alone, he is a worthy recipient of the cursed SOTM prize.
I won’t say he make us all safer, but he has become a valuable longstanding contributer to the supernatural knowledge here at SOS.
Long may you keep on keeping on, RB.
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com