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You are here: Home / Survival News / 3 Signs of Demon Danger from Singer Stalked by Satan

3 Signs of Demon Danger from Singer Stalked by Satan

July 3, 2014 By Seth 7 Comments

A singer stalked by Satan serves her top three tips on how to know if a demon is stalking you.

Pop/R&B singer Ariana Grande says she has been stalked by Satan since taking a trip to a Kansas City cemetery.

Singer says she is stalked by Satan.
Singer says she is stalked by Satan.

“Stull Cemetery is known as one of the seven gates of Hell on Earth,” claimed the singer in a recent interview. “The Pope won’t fly over it.”

So of course she drove there at midnight. And while in the car she noticed three signs that Satan had been alerted to her presence.  A highly probable scenario to me since pop stars are considered prime targets by infernal forces skilled at identifying humans most likely to part with their souls for a song.

And so I submit, for your consideration, the three signs of demon stalking as related by Ariana:

Sign #1: Bad Smell

Ariana says that on approaching the gate, the whole car filled with the smell of sulphur, a sure sign of a nearby portal – or natural hotspring. Or both.

Also a reminder to survivors everywhere about the importance of eating an appropriate egg-free breakfast prior to portal spelunking.

Sign #2: A Fly In The Car

A persistent fly appeared in the car and began to buzz strange ideas into everyone’s heads. Ideas like, “What if we wore masks into the grocery store?”

Ariana rolled down the window to release the fly and apologized to the disrupted demons but there is no evidence this worked. The fly follows her everywhere now, buzzing in her ear and reporting back to its demon master on her every move.

Sign #3: Shadowy Faces in Photos

The singer says she took a photo in which three shadowy faces appeared. “Faces of textbook demons,” as she described them. Textbook demons may not sound as dangerous as say, Fulcalorian flesh flayers, but as someone who had a physics textbook fall on his head in the year 2000, I can tell you, they most certainly are. In fact, textbook demons are the number one reason most schools have moved away from the use of textbooks.

Ariana says that she immediately deleted the photo of these textbook demons, which was a terrifying 666 megabytes, but she did not immediately dispose of any textbooks in her car so it is highly likely the next time she goes to work on a math sum, the demons will return.

Since returning from her trip the singer reports disturbing dreams with a lot of  terrifying”red shapes,” in them. The dreams, however, appear to go away if she sleeps on the left side of her bed.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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Filed Under: Survival News Tagged With: Demons

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Reaper says

    July 3, 2014 at 3:10 pm

    Okay, I do have to correct you on one small thing Seth. Ariana Grande is actually a pop/R&B singer. Other than that, this seems to be completely correct.

    Reply
    • Agent RB says

      July 3, 2014 at 8:58 pm

      I’m an RB singer too! :mrgreen:

      RB

      Reply
    • Seth says

      July 5, 2014 at 2:32 pm

      Hail Reaper,

      Thanks for the correctification. The story makes more sense now. Pop singers are big targets for demons who are skilled at recognizing any being who is probably willing to part with their soul.

      Thanks for keeping on.

      Seth

      Reply
  2. Alex says

    July 3, 2014 at 4:36 pm

    What if we all wore masks to the store?

    Reply
    • Seth says

      July 5, 2014 at 2:34 pm

      Hail Alex,

      Thanks for keeping on with this valid point and awesome photo. And what if you wear a tie with that? I’m keeping my eyes open for photos of the pop star trying both.

      Seth

      Reply
  3. Bluestar says

    July 11, 2014 at 2:43 am

    Thats Ariana Grande not just Singer

    Reply
  4. Kurogane says

    July 17, 2014 at 2:49 am

    Hey guys, remember a few weeks ago I posted some weird comments? Well that wasn’t me , it was my younger sister akagane posting while I was away in the carribean with my girlfriend and aka kinda managed to get into my account and posted some stuff. 😳 but now that I finally managed to get that annoying brat an account I have a bit of a problem, you see…..for some strange reason gravatar won’t accept her email and I can’t change her profile picture and she’s pissed about it. I need help! All that annoying little brat does is big me about her avatar! Someone help!

    Reply

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