They’re back! Petrifying Pumpkin Zombies, the dreaded “Pumpkinheads” of Halloween, oozing out of patch near you. But what are they really? And what’s the best way to defend your home and family and more importantly, your Halloween candy! against them?
Pumpkin Zombie Preparedness Plans have traditionally focused on the use of jack-o-lanterns. Since Celtic times, humans learned to carve scary-faced little pumpkin heads of their own, lit up with candles and placed by the front door at Halloween because of ancient studies that showed jack-o-lanterns to be effective at warding off everything from evil spirits to political parties, which included the dreaded Pumpkin Zombies and their slimy orange hands of death.
Until lately. In recent years the jack-o-lantern effect appears to be wearing off. There are more and more reports of attacks by these hideous slimy orange beings. Why? Are genetically modified pumpkins producing bigger, slimier and scarier pumkinoids than ever before? Or have we become lax in our jack-o-lantern carving, forgetting their important life-saving function to focus on decoration? All those dangerously grinning gourds?
Whatever the case, there are more and more reports everyday of attacks by these slimy, lumbering orange beings and this Halloween is sure to be a record. So how to defend yourself?
Well as Pumpkin Zombie correspondent ARC the Reaper reminds us below, carving a good, effective jack-o-lantern is still your first line of defense. An effective jack-o-lantern should be scarier than it is funny, at least when it is lit up. But then it doesn’t hurt to include exploding pumpkin seeds, if you happen to have some handy.
Of course you could always just turn to the pumpkin gun, like Survivor Ron, below…
Pumpkinhead Scourge: http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=363
Seth
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
ive got a tip! if you shove their head into an oven then you will end up with a dead zombie and a delicious baked pumpkin
How likely is it that you’ll be in a kitchen when one comes? What if there’s more than one? I pulled out a pumpkin carving knife and it made a pumpkinhead scream and run off. Oh yes, I do enjoy carving pumpkins.
I’m planning on carving out of the kit manual I fond in a garbage can, it came with the utensils so I’m all set.
Mmm. Pumpkin seeds dipped in dynamite. I’m having a blast! Prepare for a big flavor explosion!
Doom to those that kick my pumpkin.
Doooooooooommmm! Nobody is allowed to touch my pumpkin! Nobody. No bud dee. Noooobbbbooooddddyyyy.
Never never never never! It’s my pumpkin. I know your eyeballing it enigma. I’m watching you. No you can’t have it either Seth. I know you like wearing pumpkins on your head… And calling yourself the Great Pumpkin.
No, get your own.
How do you survive eating dynamite?
Perhaps if your Camping you could shove it in the cAmp fire. Or you could direct your chi to your hand and grab its head and heat your chi.
Um, I’m ARC? That’s how.
I can only be destroyed by Zyboragon so dynamite doesn’t effect me. Tastes great. Want some? Too bad! I’m not good at sharing.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Lol, I wish I could eat dynamite and survive.
Calm down ARC and… I got your dynamite! RUN TIME RUN LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!
mm dynamite does taste good.
I can’t believe you would actually eat my dynamite. .
You took the one I named Jeffrey. You ate Jeffrey….. I was going to eat Jeffrey.
It’s okay I still got the one I named Seth. I’m going to eat Seth right now.
Oo yum ima gonna have to eat more of those.
ire volo impetro magis dynamite! FYI latine loqui volo
Hail ARC the Reaper,
Thanks in advance for please NOT turning me into a pumpkinhead and smashing and/or eating me…!
I’m having enough trouble with the site today. Idk if it’s the Pumpkinheads or Area 51 or what…
Seth
This new name will do I guess.
I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. It looks good when lit, like nothing in the dark. I love it! Looks so cool. Pumpkinheads beware! I am a master carver!
Hail ARC the Reaper,
Thanks for letting us in on your Pumpkinhead Preparedness planning and for reminding us all that a good jack-o-latern is always the first line of defense. Let us know how it goes!
Seth