1. Contrary to popular opinion, werewolves and vampires can be friends under the right circumstances. So ask yourself, are these the right circumstances? If the answer is no and you are a vampire or you are with a vampire? Time to run.
2. Silver. Real silver: bullets and accessories. A silver chain makes a nice belt and werewolf lead. NOTE: if it’s not real silver, it will just turn him green. A green werewolf is even more dangerous than one that is not green.
3. Look werewolf directly in the eye and growl in your best pack-leader voice, “SIT!” WARNING – This tip from Hollywood Dog Trainer Cesar Milan is controversial, indeed completely unsubstantiated. If your voice is not firm enough in the heat of werewolf battle, there is the risk you will just make him madder.
4. Got a muffin on you? Get it out, fast. Nothing makes a werewolf happier than a warm, fluffy muffin. Be prepared, download my proven fluffy anti-lycan muffin recipe.
5. If you have been or suspect that you have been bitten by a werewolf despite taking all precautionary measures, then you need 10 gallons of colloidal silver water *STAT*. I would advise that you make your own, it’s just cheaper. All you need is a battery, silver wire, a piece of real silverware or jewelry, and a gallon of water.
If you don’t have time to make your own colloidal silver water, gather up all the silverware in the house and toss it into a hot tub. Soak your whole body – not just the bite – in the tub for one hour. This should be long enough for the silver ions to penetrate your epidermis.
6. If you can’t beat them – survive. When you get out of the tub, contact the other survivors at SOS for more advice. Life as a werewolf can actually be pretty good!
~~~ If The Werewolf Is YOU! ~~~
However if this is a bitten case, acquired lycanthropy will generally manifest by the next full moon or within a maximum of 28 days, according to the stages outlined below. Your first transformation is a very dangerous time – most new werewolves will not survive. So don’t be caught unprepared, read the advice and comments below.
In Stage II you will recover from this “cold” very very quickly and the bite mark will heal too. There is debate about whether it heals completely or leaves a telltale scar or “mark.” Maybe it depends to some extent on the size of the bite, this is unknown. If it does leave a mark, this is rumoured to serve as a sign to others re: pack affiliation. During this phase you will be almost supernaturally resistant to the cold, tempted to go outside without a coat or even a shirt. This is also not advisable. Especially if you are a girl. I’m just saying. You may have a sudden and inexplicable urge to run everywhere and yet never tire on arrival. You may try to lift heavy things for no other reason than to see if you can. Your sense of smell and hearing becomes acute – you may find you are able to identify people by odor or the sound of their footsteps even in very crowded rooms. Stage II should last another five days, again depending on the phase of the moon.
Stage III is the stage everyone thinks of when it comes to werewolves. The nails grow. And grow and grow. Did I mention that they grow? The hair grows too. The voice changes to a growl. And then there’s the anger! Being a werewolf is angry business. Even formally good-tempered beings find it impossible to not react when the flow of adrenaline-fueled anger begins coursing through their veins and their human side tries to rationalize it by pinning the reason on somebody else. So it’s very important during stage three to remind yourself that it’s NOT actually that #$%-ing clerk or that *&*^#& teacher or even that little brother – okay maybe it is that little brother – but NO! It’s just your body adapting to the increased adrenaline load that comes with becoming a werewolf. This stage lasts until the full moon.
Stage IV, full moon fever. Regardless of how you got it, inherited or acquired, the final phase and your first transformation begins the day before the full moon. Don’t remain stuck in denial. Get to work building that secure werewolf crib, complete with silver bars on the windows, a lock on the door and a stash of muffins on the bed. Actually scratch the muffins. I have since learned the muffins work on werewolves in human form. For the full moon, it’s all about the meat! As much as you can fit under the bed. No time to build a crib? There are reports of werewolves renting moving trucks and box cars and driving into the middle of the desert. Of course you’ll need a friend you can trust to lock you in!
And read on! There’s lots more advice, stories and tips below from other werewolves like you!
For more specific info about different kinds of werewolves, visit YourLupineLife.com.
You can also download a free app for iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad made especially for werewolves called Lupine Life made by my friends over at YourLupine Life.com, It will help you find out what kind of moon you were born under and what type of werewolf you might be. It also has a handy full moon tracker that let’s you find the phase of the moon for any date over a 200 year range.
Finally if you are interested in werewolves you will want to watch Survivor Louis Pine’s video series chronicalling his Lupine Life: “My Lupine Life” By Louis Pine