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You are here: Home / Monstrometer / Werewolves: You May Be Dealing With A Werewolf

Werewolves: You May Be Dealing With A Werewolf

October 7, 2011 By Seth 40,804 Comments

werewolvesDanger-werewolves

1. Contrary to popular opinion, werewolves and vampires can be friends under the right circumstances. So ask yourself, are these the right circumstances? If the answer is no and you are a vampire or you are with a vampire? Time to run.

2. Silver. Real silver: bullets and accessories. A silver chain makes a nice belt and werewolf lead. NOTE: if it’s not real silver, it will just turn him green. A green werewolf is even more dangerous than one that is not green.

3. Look werewolf directly in the eye and growl in your best pack-leader voice, “SIT!” WARNING – This tip from Hollywood Dog Trainer Cesar Milan is controversial, indeed completely unsubstantiated. If your voice is not firm enough in the heat of werewolf battle, there is the risk you will just make him madder.

4. Got a muffin on you? Get it out, fast. Nothing makes a werewolf happier than a warm, fluffy muffin. Be prepared, download my proven fluffy anti-lycan muffin recipe.

5. If you have been or suspect that you have been bitten by a werewolf despite taking all precautionary measures, then you need 10 gallons of colloidal silver water *STAT*. I would advise that you make your own, it’s just cheaper. All you need is a battery, silver wire, a piece of real silverware or jewelry, and a gallon of water.

If you don’t have time to make your own colloidal silver water, gather up all the silverware in the house and toss it into a hot tub. Soak your whole body – not just the bite – in the tub for one hour. This should be long enough for the silver ions to penetrate your epidermis.

6. If you can’t beat them –  survive. When you get out of the tub, contact the other survivors at SOS for more advice. Life as a werewolf can actually be pretty good!

~~~ If  The Werewolf Is YOU! ~~~

As you may already know, current pathogenic research distinguishes acquired lycanthropy or “bitten werewolves” from genetic lycanthropic tendencies. So the first question to ask yourself is, are any of your parents or siblings werewolves?  Has there been a resurgence of ancestral threats i.e.: vampires in your community? There are many genetic werewolves on this site who know more than I do about this. You can read their comments below.

However if this is a bitten case, acquired lycanthropy will generally manifest by the next full moon or within a maximum of 28 days, according to the stages outlined below. Your first transformation is a very dangerous time – most new werewolves will not survive. So don’t be caught unprepared, read the advice and comments below.

In Stage I you will have a cut or wound that won’t heal normally and that you can’t exactly remember how you got it. Anecdotal reports indicate that dousing the wound with a simple colloidal silver solution from a health food store within 24 hours of infection could actually prevent the lycanthropic mutagens from spreading to your stem cells. If 24 hours has passed, you will notice your immune system begins to work overtime. This will look like a very severe cold. Are you suddenly sweaty for no apparent reason? You will spike a unaturally high fever, maybe even over 100 degrees according to some reports. You can try Tylenol but it won’t help this fever. You may vomit. Your friends and family will try to take you to the hospital but this is not advisable as Area 51 has doctors in every one. This stage is said to last for three to five days, depending on the phase of the moon.

In Stage II you will recover from this “cold” very very quickly and the bite mark will heal too. There is debate about whether it heals completely or leaves a telltale scar or “mark.” Maybe it depends to some extent on the size of the bite, this is unknown. If it does leave a mark, this is rumoured to serve as a sign to others re: pack affiliation. During this phase you will be almost supernaturally resistant to the cold, tempted to go outside without a coat or even a shirt. This is also not advisable. Especially if you are a girl. I’m just saying. You may have a sudden and inexplicable urge to run everywhere and yet never tire on arrival. You may try to lift heavy things for no other reason than to see if you can. Your sense of smell and hearing becomes acute – you may find you are able to identify people by odor or the sound of their footsteps even in very crowded rooms. Stage II should last another five days, again depending on the phase of the moon.

Stage III is the stage everyone thinks of when it comes to werewolves. The nails grow. And grow and grow. Did I mention that they grow? The hair grows too. The voice changes to a growl. And then there’s the anger! Being a werewolf is angry business. Even formally good-tempered beings find it impossible to not react when the flow of adrenaline-fueled anger begins coursing through their veins and their human side tries to rationalize it by pinning the reason on somebody else. So it’s very important during stage three to remind yourself that it’s NOT actually that #$%-ing clerk or that *&*^#& teacher or even that little brother – okay maybe it is that little brother – but NO!  It’s just your body adapting to the increased adrenaline load that comes with becoming a werewolf. This stage lasts until the full moon.

Stage IV, full moon fever. Regardless of how you got it, inherited or acquired, the final phase and your first transformation begins the day before the full moon. Don’t remain stuck in denial. Get to work building that secure werewolf crib, complete with silver bars on the windows, a lock on the door and a stash of muffins on the bed. Actually scratch the muffins. I have since learned the muffins work on werewolves in human form. For the full moon, it’s all about the meat! As much as you can fit under the bed. No time to build a crib? There are reports of werewolves renting moving trucks and box cars and driving into the middle of the desert. Of course you’ll need a friend you can trust to lock you in!

And read on! There’s lots more advice, stories and tips below from other werewolves like you!

For more specific info about different kinds of werewolves, visit YourLupineLife.com.

You can also download a free app for iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad made especially for werewolves called Lupine Life made by my friends over at YourLupine Life.com, It will help you find out what kind of moon you were born under and what type of werewolf you might be. It also has a handy full moon tracker that let’s you find the phase of the moon for any date over a 200 year range.

Finally if you are interested in werewolves you will want to watch Survivor Louis Pine’s video series chronicalling his Lupine Life: “My Lupine Life” By Louis Pine

 Or for further info, come back to SOS often, as there are often new findings submitted by survivors themselves. Here are a few popular links:

WEREWOLFGIRL describes a potion for non-genetic lycanthroporous transformation.

 WOLF PRINCESS’ crib research links:

 LYCANTHEPROTECTOR describing his three WW forms:

This list in eternal progress… check back often for updates.

 

 

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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Filed Under: Monstrometer Tagged With: iOS, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Monstrometer, Werewolves

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Comments

  1. Wild Moon says

    March 27, 2013 at 7:40 am

    Well last night was interesting…

    Reply
  2. Wild Moon says

    March 27, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    If there are those of you who are wondering why last night was interesting, let’s just say I started barking at my neibour and now she’s scared of me.

    Reply
  3. Wild Moon says

    March 27, 2013 at 12:25 pm

    And whenever I knock on her door she says ” Go away or I’ll eat your brains!”
    I’m pretty sure she’s a cannibal.

    Reply
    • 1234 says

      March 28, 2013 at 9:14 am

      Maybe she isn’t a zombie. Perhaps she is just making fun of you by being weird back. Barking at her was weird so she said that? Don’t jump to conclusions. I’m not saying your now right about this I’m just giving a suggestion. 😆

      Reply
    • 1234 says

      March 28, 2013 at 9:16 am

      Maybe she isn’t a zombie. Perhaps she is just making fun of you by being weird back. Barking at her was weird so she said that? Don’t jump to conclusions. I’m not saying your wrong about this I’m just giving a suggestion. 😆

      If you see a previous comment from me it was a autocorrect fail.

      Reply
  4. Wild Moon says

    March 27, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    Please give me advice on how to keep her away because I want to keep my brains and I really don’t want her to eat my dog:(

    Reply
    • Devorah says

      March 27, 2013 at 2:29 pm

      She could also be a zombie

      Reply
    • Seth says

      March 27, 2013 at 9:35 pm

      Hail Wild Moon,

      Thanks for your full moon SOS message. As Devorah says, first transformations are always the hardest. After more moons, you body will “remember” and you will learn how to control and slow or even stop at different phases. But the first one is always hard and you wind up full wolf in the end.

      The good news about that is, it’s doubtful a single zombie could take you down in this condition if you try to get away. The bad news is, as a brand new werewolf, you might not try to get away. You might actually do something crazy like take a bite out of the zombie instead. In this case you have to count on your accelerated immune system to reject the Z prions. But will they?

      Do you have an experienced werewolf with you? If not why not?

      Seth

      Reply
      • A.H. says

        March 28, 2013 at 12:29 am

        Hey seth thanks for all your help with the Frost Wolf thing but I think you could be missing the point here with Wild Moon. If a zombie is showing up at your crib during or before your first transformation then you can suspect you might be a bone wolf. Instead of telling her to fight the zombie you should have told her to say hi because the zombie would understand her. you Should have asked her if there is a crow there too.

        A.H.

        Reply
  5. Wild Moon says

    March 27, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    Could a zombie take on a werewolf ( werewolf meaning me ) ?

    Reply
  6. Wild Moon says

    March 27, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    * shudders at the thought of her feasting on my brains*

    Reply
  7. Wild Moon says

    March 27, 2013 at 2:50 pm

    OH MY GOD,MY HEAD FEELS LIKE ITS BEING SAT ON BY A COW!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  8. Wild Moon says

    March 27, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    IS THIS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE MOON BECAUSE IT’S MY FIRST TRANSFORMATION THEN!
    *barks out loud in agony*

    Reply
    • Devorah says

      March 27, 2013 at 3:02 pm

      I don’t know if Zombie could take on a werewolf so you did have your first transformation I have heard it can e painful

      Reply
  9. Devorah says

    March 27, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Excuse my spelling I messed up while typing

    Reply
  10. Wild Moon says

    March 27, 2013 at 3:14 pm

    VERY PAINFUL!

    Reply
    • Devorah says

      March 27, 2013 at 4:36 pm

      So you did

      Reply
  11. Gabriella5917 says

    March 27, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    HEEEELLLO MY LITTLE MUFFINS!
    LEMME EAT YAAA!
    COME BAXXCK!!! GBNN MMMMMMHNNN,MMMMM!!!!

    Reply
    • Devorah says

      March 27, 2013 at 4:57 pm

      Are you ok gabriella5917 we are not muffins

      Reply
    • ?wolf says

      March 27, 2013 at 8:13 pm

      Are you turning into a zombie or having cannibalizm? BUT YES WE ARE NOT FRICKIN MUFFINS!

      Reply
      • Devorah says

        March 27, 2013 at 8:14 pm

        That is kind of what I’m saying

        Reply
        • ?wolf says

          March 27, 2013 at 8:23 pm

          Y ummy MOOFINS

          Reply
  12. ?wolf says

    March 27, 2013 at 8:21 pm

    Lemme get this start, ghosgts are paranormal, SEMOBS ARE SUPERNATURAL I THONK
    YES EVERY BODY IS A MUFFIN I QILL EATS YOU babys IN YOU SLEEPS THEM NI zeat yousYUO TASTE GOOD ON SOUP YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM YOU BABYS RADSE GOOS YUUMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYY NAP TOMETYPOOO TYPOO POO

    Reply
  13. ?wolf says

    March 27, 2013 at 8:36 pm

    IM GUNNA WIT P IUP A VOW AND PIT INTO MOODINS THEAT TASTE KILEBCROPOOO PY YUMMMYYY HANDSARENY FUNTINING POIPERLY THEY HSSTEBLIKE MOOFIN AMI MOOMFIN sicy moofin HE EHEBWORLD IS POOPOS DHRJDBDBRHJDUSTTHEU ARE SHURTING MRI FEEL LAkf ecrap rnru mean nSOOOBT MEAN IF I CAID ARE GI Widh NI NO SPEAK JOBBERIST DENTIS OH I HAVE DERM CAVITY WHY DERM CAVITY COW TOT SELF AMF TOUR LITTLE FIREIN DYIO I LEEL YPU RHIS COMMENT PURDU DERM GAR GIYALS THEY HOT MARRIED IN NY FACE CRY CRY SOB SIB yhey sooo THEY SOOK MRAN ANY PEORSWM GOT TOOPS FOR THIS PERSON? WOLFSON?I THINK I PERTLY TFORMED LAST MIGHT, MY COVERS WERE OFF MY BED AND MY BRACEWRTS WERE OFF IT WAS FUN I GOT TO RUNWOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO BARF POOP US THIS NOMSKL

    Reply
  14. LycanTheProtector says

    March 27, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    Hello survivors!

    Tonight is a big night, it is the second day(of three)of the full moon AAAAWWWWWOOOOO!!! I was just checking in on the werewolves here….hope everyone’s phase goes well, and that they don’t harm anyone during/after the phase!

    Your elemental Werewolf,
    Lycan.

    Reply
    • Devorah says

      March 27, 2013 at 9:06 pm

      I wish I could phase hey lycan I’m sure we all want to know how yours is inperticuler your one of the only elemental werewolves we all know give us a update later 😀

      Reply
      • LycanTheProtector says

        March 27, 2013 at 10:42 pm

        The transformation I a little hard to describe..because its so quick and sudden. I’m already shifted…I don’t know when I did but all I know is that when I’m about to turn or am turning a random element(not space or time I am not able to use them plus it’s dangerous) envelopes my body and then the next thing I know is that I’m in werewolf form…that’s about it….

        Reply
  15. Devorah says

    March 27, 2013 at 9:07 pm

    I blame my stupid braces

    Reply
  16. Wolf boy says

    March 27, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    What are the semtems of shifting

    Reply
  17. Wolf boy says

    March 27, 2013 at 10:55 pm

    I’m hungry for muffin and steak!!!!!!

    Reply
  18. posibilities says

    March 28, 2013 at 12:15 am

    Man, what is up with the werewolves around here lately? Desease, or sabotage? Or perhaps it’s something to do with this perticular full moon? Wiches maybe? The possibilities are endless, kinda like how often I use my own nickname (it’s not really a nickname, but what else to call it?) anyways, anybody else got another theory? Or is everyone to mentally scarred to ever type again?

    Reply
  19. Archaea Venomtongue says

    March 28, 2013 at 5:27 am

    The commoner may be a prophet,
    The snake may be traveller,
    So what does that make you?

    Reply
  20. Wild Moon says

    March 28, 2013 at 6:05 am

    Last night was horrible. I got chased by werewolf hunters and lost a nail! Boo hoo

    Reply
  21. Wild Moon says

    March 28, 2013 at 6:19 am

    Hail possibilities
    I agree that there is something up with us lately. I keep doing weird things, I’ve bitten 7 people and if you scroll up to earlier comments you’ll find that I started barking at my zombie/cannibal neibour.

    Wild Moon

    Reply
  22. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 9:45 am

    Hey I not someone in my class too

    Reply
  23. Gabriella5917 says

    March 28, 2013 at 11:56 am

    MMMMMUUUUUUFFFFFFFFIIIIINNNNNNSSSSS!
    MUFFFFFFFFFIIINN PPPPPPEEEOOOOPPPLLLEE!!!
    MUFFFFFFFFFFFFFINS EEEEEVVEERRYYWHHHHEERREE!!!!!

    Reply
  24. Gabriella5917 says

    March 28, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    SSSSSSPPPPPEEEIIIIICCCAAALLL MMMUUUUUFFFFFIN!!

    Reply
  25. Wild Moon says

    March 28, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    MMMMMMUUUUUUFFFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS AAAAARRRRR DDDDDDEEEELLLIIIIIIIICCCCCCIIIIIIOOOOOOOSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!:):):):):)

    Reply
  26. Wild Moon says

    March 28, 2013 at 12:28 pm

    MUFFINS=HAPPY ME

    Reply
  27. Wild Moon says

    March 28, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    Gabriella5917, are you a werewolf or a MUFFIN?

    Reply
  28. Gabriella5917 says

    March 28, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    MUUUUFFFFIIINNN!! MUFFFFFFFIN MAKE MAGGGGIC!!!

    WIIIILLLDDD MUFFFIIN!!

    Reply
    • Devorah says

      March 28, 2013 at 1:32 pm

      You really don’t seem okay i mean you called wild moon wild muffin

      Reply
      • Gabriella5917 says

        March 28, 2013 at 2:19 pm

        HHHHHHEEEEELLLLLLOOO MMMMMUUUUUFFFIRRRNAAAAHH!
        MUUUUUFFFFFFFFIIINNN MAGGGGGGIIIICCC!

        Reply
  29. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 1:01 pm

    Ummm guys you do no werewolves don’t start shifting till
    8:00 right?

    Reply
    • Werewolf13 says

      March 28, 2013 at 4:46 pm

      Actually, it just depends on the wolf.

      Reply
  30. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 1:03 pm

    Hey what happened to my avatar

    Reply
  31. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    STEAK!!!!!!!! Jfhfbdjsbdjfbejdndjd steak
    MUFFINS

    Reply
  32. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 1:07 pm

    Hey I bitt someone in my class too

    Reply
  33. Gabriella5917 says

    March 28, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    HHHHHEEEEEELLLLLLOOOO MMMMMUUUUUFFFFFFFIIIINNN BBBBBBOOOOOOOYYY!!!

    Reply
  34. Werewolf13 says

    March 28, 2013 at 4:45 pm

    Lately over the past few nights I have been having horrible memory. Sure, lightning wolves have the worst memory of all the werewolf types, but lately things have been awful. I have only been able to remember small things such as images or feelings. Would any of you guys know what’s going on? Thanks:)

    Reply
    • ?wolf says

      March 28, 2013 at 7:56 pm

      I would guess that you are… Having hallucinations? I am clueless. 😐

      Reply
  35. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 6:53 pm

    Gabriella It’s Wolf boy not muffin boy and
    You’ve been acting coocoo crazy!!!!!!!

    Reply
  36. ?wolf says

    March 28, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    Hehe Coocoo crazy 😉 😐 : 🙁 x 😯

    Reply
    • Wolf boy says

      March 28, 2013 at 8:10 pm

      What werewolf clan are you?

      Reply
  37. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    What’s happening to my
    Avatar

    Reply
  38. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 8:22 pm

    I’m not a werewolf I want to be can someone
    Tell me house I know a lot about werewolfs
    but I am a lot like a werewolf

    Reply
  39. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 8:51 pm

    I believe in werewfs but is Louis Pine real?

    Reply
  40. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Typo werewolfs

    Reply
  41. ?wolf says

    March 28, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    ummm TOTALY I GEUSS!!!! IM CRAZEY WJLXVJB,HVFDJ JHV CHDC,JHCF,KJVFKJVJ HBVJJ VHKJBJ KBJNVJK VKJBVHKBHJKBVJKBHKBKJMN VBKKJBVKB VMNGNFGNJBHVHHVBV VFJHVHJGVKSG JKFD

    Reply
  42. posibilities says

    March 28, 2013 at 9:31 pm

    Ummm, ?wolf????? If your not to discombobulated to awnser(you probobly are), could you let us know WHAT HAPPENED? Why are you and Gabriella going insane? I’ve already asked this before but it’s getting on my nerves, watching all these innocent WW go crazy for no known reason, and are unable to share why! So seriously you two! SNAP OUT OF IT! Type to us while making sense please! Come on!!!!! Why do you se muffins evwrywhere!?!?!?!?!???? ❓ ❗ 😯 🙁

    Reply
  43. wolflily says

    March 28, 2013 at 10:53 pm

    Ummmmmm what’s going on with those two???? Are they ok?????

    Reply
  44. Wolf boy says

    March 28, 2013 at 10:56 pm

    I agree with possibilities

    Reply
  45. Wolf boy says

    March 29, 2013 at 1:52 am

    Anyone awake

    Reply
  46. Devorah says

    March 29, 2013 at 2:08 am

    What the heck is wrong with them they are nuts

    Reply
  47. Wolf boy says

    March 29, 2013 at 3:01 am

    Ya anybody awake

    Reply
  48. ?wolf says

    March 29, 2013 at 7:32 am

    hmmm…

    Reply
  49. ?wolf says

    March 29, 2013 at 7:32 am

    hmmm….

    Reply
  50. Wolf boy says

    March 29, 2013 at 9:21 am

    What about hmm?

    Reply
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Links

  • Spray Nine
  • The SOS Monstrometer
  • ZAG – Zombie Actor's Guild
  • Zombie Specimens

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