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You are here: Home / Monstrometer / Werewolves: You May Be Dealing With A Werewolf

Werewolves: You May Be Dealing With A Werewolf

October 7, 2011 By Seth 40,804 Comments

werewolvesDanger-werewolves

1. Contrary to popular opinion, werewolves and vampires can be friends under the right circumstances. So ask yourself, are these the right circumstances? If the answer is no and you are a vampire or you are with a vampire? Time to run.

2. Silver. Real silver: bullets and accessories. A silver chain makes a nice belt and werewolf lead. NOTE: if it’s not real silver, it will just turn him green. A green werewolf is even more dangerous than one that is not green.

3. Look werewolf directly in the eye and growl in your best pack-leader voice, “SIT!” WARNING – This tip from Hollywood Dog Trainer Cesar Milan is controversial, indeed completely unsubstantiated. If your voice is not firm enough in the heat of werewolf battle, there is the risk you will just make him madder.

4. Got a muffin on you? Get it out, fast. Nothing makes a werewolf happier than a warm, fluffy muffin. Be prepared, download my proven fluffy anti-lycan muffin recipe.

5. If you have been or suspect that you have been bitten by a werewolf despite taking all precautionary measures, then you need 10 gallons of colloidal silver water *STAT*. I would advise that you make your own, it’s just cheaper. All you need is a battery, silver wire, a piece of real silverware or jewelry, and a gallon of water.

If you don’t have time to make your own colloidal silver water, gather up all the silverware in the house and toss it into a hot tub. Soak your whole body – not just the bite – in the tub for one hour. This should be long enough for the silver ions to penetrate your epidermis.

6. If you can’t beat them –  survive. When you get out of the tub, contact the other survivors at SOS for more advice. Life as a werewolf can actually be pretty good!

~~~ If  The Werewolf Is YOU! ~~~

As you may already know, current pathogenic research distinguishes acquired lycanthropy or “bitten werewolves” from genetic lycanthropic tendencies. So the first question to ask yourself is, are any of your parents or siblings werewolves?  Has there been a resurgence of ancestral threats i.e.: vampires in your community? There are many genetic werewolves on this site who know more than I do about this. You can read their comments below.

However if this is a bitten case, acquired lycanthropy will generally manifest by the next full moon or within a maximum of 28 days, according to the stages outlined below. Your first transformation is a very dangerous time – most new werewolves will not survive. So don’t be caught unprepared, read the advice and comments below.

In Stage I you will have a cut or wound that won’t heal normally and that you can’t exactly remember how you got it. Anecdotal reports indicate that dousing the wound with a simple colloidal silver solution from a health food store within 24 hours of infection could actually prevent the lycanthropic mutagens from spreading to your stem cells. If 24 hours has passed, you will notice your immune system begins to work overtime. This will look like a very severe cold. Are you suddenly sweaty for no apparent reason? You will spike a unaturally high fever, maybe even over 100 degrees according to some reports. You can try Tylenol but it won’t help this fever. You may vomit. Your friends and family will try to take you to the hospital but this is not advisable as Area 51 has doctors in every one. This stage is said to last for three to five days, depending on the phase of the moon.

In Stage II you will recover from this “cold” very very quickly and the bite mark will heal too. There is debate about whether it heals completely or leaves a telltale scar or “mark.” Maybe it depends to some extent on the size of the bite, this is unknown. If it does leave a mark, this is rumoured to serve as a sign to others re: pack affiliation. During this phase you will be almost supernaturally resistant to the cold, tempted to go outside without a coat or even a shirt. This is also not advisable. Especially if you are a girl. I’m just saying. You may have a sudden and inexplicable urge to run everywhere and yet never tire on arrival. You may try to lift heavy things for no other reason than to see if you can. Your sense of smell and hearing becomes acute – you may find you are able to identify people by odor or the sound of their footsteps even in very crowded rooms. Stage II should last another five days, again depending on the phase of the moon.

Stage III is the stage everyone thinks of when it comes to werewolves. The nails grow. And grow and grow. Did I mention that they grow? The hair grows too. The voice changes to a growl. And then there’s the anger! Being a werewolf is angry business. Even formally good-tempered beings find it impossible to not react when the flow of adrenaline-fueled anger begins coursing through their veins and their human side tries to rationalize it by pinning the reason on somebody else. So it’s very important during stage three to remind yourself that it’s NOT actually that #$%-ing clerk or that *&*^#& teacher or even that little brother – okay maybe it is that little brother – but NO!  It’s just your body adapting to the increased adrenaline load that comes with becoming a werewolf. This stage lasts until the full moon.

Stage IV, full moon fever. Regardless of how you got it, inherited or acquired, the final phase and your first transformation begins the day before the full moon. Don’t remain stuck in denial. Get to work building that secure werewolf crib, complete with silver bars on the windows, a lock on the door and a stash of muffins on the bed. Actually scratch the muffins. I have since learned the muffins work on werewolves in human form. For the full moon, it’s all about the meat! As much as you can fit under the bed. No time to build a crib? There are reports of werewolves renting moving trucks and box cars and driving into the middle of the desert. Of course you’ll need a friend you can trust to lock you in!

And read on! There’s lots more advice, stories and tips below from other werewolves like you!

For more specific info about different kinds of werewolves, visit YourLupineLife.com.

You can also download a free app for iPhone, iPod Touch and iPad made especially for werewolves called Lupine Life made by my friends over at YourLupine Life.com, It will help you find out what kind of moon you were born under and what type of werewolf you might be. It also has a handy full moon tracker that let’s you find the phase of the moon for any date over a 200 year range.

Finally if you are interested in werewolves you will want to watch Survivor Louis Pine’s video series chronicalling his Lupine Life: “My Lupine Life” By Louis Pine

 Or for further info, come back to SOS often, as there are often new findings submitted by survivors themselves. Here are a few popular links:

WEREWOLFGIRL describes a potion for non-genetic lycanthroporous transformation.

 WOLF PRINCESS’ crib research links:

 LYCANTHEPROTECTOR describing his three WW forms:

This list in eternal progress… check back often for updates.

 

 

 

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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Filed Under: Monstrometer Tagged With: iOS, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Monstrometer, Werewolves

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Comments

  1. Nelson says

    April 27, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Ok , full moons tonight. Wish me luck. I never have luck , mate. My brothers not a werewolf. I know because he doesn’t hav sharp teeth and he doesn’t look like my dad. At all. Is there such a thing as squirrel people? If there is I think my friends mum is one. Have a goodnight. I love this new home in America!!!!!

    Reply
    • Seth says

      April 28, 2010 at 3:48 pm

      Full Moon tonight Nelson!

      Let us know the results of your experiment. But remember to note that many factors influence a werewolves transformation besides the full moon so a lack of transformation tonight is not conclusive evidence.

      An actual trasformation on the other hand is pretty conclusive.

      In regards to squirrel people… I personally have never met one but I am sure they exist! I suspect most bankers and financial advisors of being squirrel people. Once I have a conclusive test I will try to add them to the Monstrometer.

      Keep us posted and keep on keeping on!

      Seth

      Reply
  2. Alexthewerewolf says

    April 27, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    All of you will find out tonight also tonight I’m gonna go to texas and see if he is dead(also I may fail the ELA test do to this)

    Reply
  3. Wilwolf says

    April 27, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    Dude, I’m comin wit u, da armor can wait

    Reply
  4. Seth says

    April 28, 2010 at 3:53 pm

    Hail Alexthewerewolf and Wilwolf,

    Tonight is the full Moon so as werewolves you will both be at the peak of your powers tonight but remember that the moonlight makes it easier for zombies to see also. If you can find where in Texas Miles is from and see if you can find him and help him out if he is still alive then that would be great but Texas is a really big place.

    In any case be careful and let us know how it goes.

    Seth

    Reply
  5. Shewolf says

    April 28, 2010 at 5:27 pm

    Hey everyone, I’m new to thE convo, sorry to intrude but i would like to say something here. Last nights full moon was insain! I have a ton of questions, I have been a werewolf For a few months now. I’m very new to this whole ride and I was hoping someone could help? I don’t think I’ll be very helpful but if any of u want to know anything about us I will be glad too help

    Reply
  6. Alexthewerewolf says

    April 28, 2010 at 10:09 pm

    Wilwolf and I can’t help right now we are on a survivor find thing right nao(there was a post from a zombie,I translated it.It says:Sutipd fools!Miles is dead!We will come for you when we least expect it!)

    Reply
    • Seth says

      May 2, 2010 at 5:11 pm

      Hmm incredibly articulate for a zombie… possibly it is their so-called zombie actors’ guild communications staff?

      Z.A.G mad with power again? I wonder what they want now?

      Thanks for the update Alexthewerewolf.

      Seth

      Reply
  7. Vamp master says

    April 28, 2010 at 10:50 pm

    Calling all werewolves meeting at the garden of Eden

    Reply
  8. Vamp master says

    April 28, 2010 at 10:53 pm

    Don’t listen it’s a trap!!!!!

    Reply
  9. Larkolycan says

    April 28, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    iPod acten up but it’s a trap don’t listen to him he’s crazy!!!!!

    Reply
  10. Vamp master says

    April 28, 2010 at 10:59 pm

    Yes it is!

    Reply
  11. Larkolycan says

    April 28, 2010 at 11:03 pm

    Again iPod vamp master has the side of werewolf hunters I’m here to save you it’s a huge army of hunters!!!!!!!!

    Reply
    • Alexthewerewolf says

      April 29, 2010 at 9:05 pm

      Ok I belive you because vamp master said he was gunna kill us

      Reply
  12. Avara wolf says

    April 29, 2010 at 11:29 am

    Hey Seth I tried talking to some of shape shifters in my area but their realy agressive when I tried talking to one of them they said I was weak I’ve had entire packs of the trying to get into my territory i can keep them back but I’m not sure if I should stay within my boarders or try to take over their territory

    Reply
  13. Larkolycan says

    April 29, 2010 at 9:06 pm

    Seth I have 2 Irish friends one werewolf the other vamp the vamp and I are still friends I just keep a close eye on him.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      May 2, 2010 at 5:14 pm

      Good to know Larco. If anyone can do it you can.

      Just remember, while you keep an eye on them, it’s very important to avoid staring directly into their eyes. If you can. Trust me.

      Hey I just thought of something though. If you keep only ONE eye on them and stare with only ONE eye, does their hypnotic vamp power still work?

      Hmm…

      Seth

      Reply
  14. Shewolf says

    April 29, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    I’m sorry not to butt in Avara wolf but I have a suggestion. It’s only an idea but u could fight when they come onto ur territory. I mean that’s what I do, and it keep intruders off mine. But I’m new to this world so i mean i’m unsure if it will help. It only works for me because I’m just really strong for a newborn, or so I’m told. Doesn’t mean it’s true. But anyways don’t know if I can but I would be glad to assist if u would like. But again , I’m young and reckless so I understand if u don’t want me around.

    Reply
  15. Larkolycan says

    April 29, 2010 at 11:38 pm

    Or you can make a pack with them Avara wolf or do what shewolf said I would try to be as peace ful as posible. Would not like to draw attention.

    Reply
  16. Larkolycan says

    April 29, 2010 at 11:40 pm

    Forgot the m in com im still getting used to this thing.

    Reply
  17. Larkolycan says

    April 29, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    Just try to be as peaceful as posible. Wouldn’t want to draw attention

    Reply
    • Seth says

      May 2, 2010 at 4:59 pm

      (A belated TY Larcolycan for your words of wisdom here. I could not have said it better.)

      Seth

      Reply
  18. Larkolycan says

    April 29, 2010 at 11:44 pm

    Got it Avara wolf.

    Reply
  19. Larkolycan says

    April 29, 2010 at 11:48 pm

    I know how to handle it I’ve been a werewolf for 5 yrs. and no one Knows about my secret.

    Reply
    • Alexthewerewolf says

      April 30, 2010 at 10:11 pm

      Ive been for 7 yrs

      Reply
  20. Avara wolf says

    April 30, 2010 at 2:32 am

    Yes but these are shapechangers not werewolfs

    Reply
  21. Avara wolf says

    April 30, 2010 at 2:35 am

    I tried to make a pack with them but they said I was different and should be eliminated any ideas on what for I could take to give me the upper hand

    Reply
  22. Larkolycan says

    April 30, 2010 at 8:40 am

    I read and I’ve run into that same trouble shap shiffters are Indian relatives I had to talk to their cheifton and smoke the peace pipe but yours might be different some shape shifters are out laws who killed their families sobe carful.

    Reply
  23. Larkolycan says

    April 30, 2010 at 10:57 am

    If they said you should be eliminated get all ofyour strongest werewolf friends and attack before they attack you. Use the element of suprise.XD

    Reply
  24. Larkolycan says

    April 30, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    Oh yea Seth of the megaconda?

    Reply
  25. Avara wolf says

    April 30, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Ok if any one wants to join my pack any help would be great

    Reply
  26. Larkolycan says

    April 30, 2010 at 2:28 pm

    I mean have you heard of a megaconda.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      May 2, 2010 at 5:06 pm

      Well Larko I have now…

      I had to google it though. A giant prehistoric rain forest dwelling prehistoric snake…?

      How can this be the first I have heard of it?

      More importantly though how are you surviving?

      Seth

      Reply
  27. Larkolycan says

    April 30, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    I wish i could but I have big problems a megaconda is attacking my house.

    Reply
  28. Avara wolf says

    April 30, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Yes those thing are nasty what coulor is it

    Reply
    • Shewolf says

      April 30, 2010 at 5:55 pm

      Hey avara wolf I would love to join your pack but I have not lived this life long enough to be experiance fighter, as I said before im strong but that’s what I’m told doesn’t mean it’s true. I’m still very young and uncontrollable and I don’t want to screw chances up for u. Thanks for the invitation anyways!

      Reply
    • Alexthewerewolf says

      April 30, 2010 at 10:14 pm

      I’ll join but I may not be able to show up

      Reply
  29. Alexthewerewolf says

    April 30, 2010 at 11:52 pm

    Vampire attack . Im goona  my neigjbor

    Reply
  30. Larkolycan says

    April 30, 2010 at 11:57 pm

    Also I’m a wise wolf. I only fight when I absolutly have to.
    And it’s a green and brown.

    Reply
  31. Vamp master says

    April 30, 2010 at 11:59 pm

    Crap brother stop tying up my armies.

    Reply
  32. Larkolycan says

    May 1, 2010 at 12:01 am

    Never I must keep valence our mother and father said so.

    Reply
  33. Larkolycan says

    May 1, 2010 at 12:03 am

    I mean balence not valence.

    Reply
  34. Larkolycan says

    May 1, 2010 at 12:05 am

    My parents are Tor (wolf goddess) and fenris (wolf god). Vamp masters parents unknown?

    Reply
  35. Vamp master says

    May 1, 2010 at 12:07 am

    Don’t bring up mine and your parents!

    Reply
  36. Larkolycan says

    May 1, 2010 at 12:09 am

    Well it’s True.

    Reply
  37. Larkolycan says

    May 1, 2010 at 12:11 am

    Hey Seth me and my pack are starting a assasin wolf pack. Does anyone want to join?

    Reply
    • Alexthewerewolf says

      May 2, 2010 at 12:31 am

      Err ok

      Reply
      • Seth says

        May 2, 2010 at 4:53 pm

        Eek well I would maybe have to see the pack charter and muffin inventory before I could join Larco.

        (That and maybe grow fangs and claws and an aversion to silver and…)

        Is this about the megaconda? If so, good luck! I hope you will keep us posted and keep on keeping on.

        Seth

        Reply
  38. Avara wolf says

    May 1, 2010 at 7:47 am

    Hey shewolf it doesn’t matter to me if your an expirienced fighter or not I could always help train you

    Reply
  39. Phoenix says

    May 1, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Can’t……… I can’t transform……………

    Reply
  40. Avara wolf says

    May 1, 2010 at 4:05 pm

    Count me in larkolycan

    Reply
  41. Shewolf says

    May 2, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Thank u. I appreciate ur acceptance but I think u would be better off without me. I am fueled by blind rage and nothing else. I’m very skilled in the art of spilling blood but I have learned the hard way that others around me tend to die, and I don’t want more blood on my paws than needed. As for pheonix what are u talking about?

    Reply
  42. Wilwolf says

    May 2, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    Dnt worry bout the blood on ur paws, worry about ur life, if a group tends to kill u, n u dnt want to ovrkill them, then ur lose, so forget about not wanting to kill, but just kill to stay alive, lik the hoard of zombies that tryed killing me wen I was in human form, not easy as expected but lukly found a open police car n used the shotgun in it

    Here’s a little tip, never grab a gun that u dnt no how loud it is or dnt no how to reload or haf no idea of how strong it is

    Reply
  43. Shewolf says

    May 2, 2010 at 10:58 pm

    Haha ur funny. But seriously, I hate having to be this monster, I never asked to be cursed like this. I am monster because some oversized mutt was hungry and to make matters worse he didn’t even come back to take care of me which I later learned is part of some type of code or something, he ripped my jugular out then left me there for the venom to take over. I have had to learn everything I know alone, any other wolf I looked to for helped tried to kill me and we ended up in fight. Only two humans know about me, my brother and some other kid I have never seen before, he just stalked me on a full moon. He thinks I’m some terrible monster and I don’t know I blame him but no one knows what it’s like to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind our eyes. And no one knows what it’s like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies, but my dreams aren’t this empty, as my conciencous seems to be. I have hours only lonley. I’ll never be free.

    Reply
    • Avara wolf says

      May 3, 2010 at 3:47 am

      Its ok shewolf your new to this life wich is why your like this it should settle down their is nothing wrong with you

      Reply
    • Seth says

      May 4, 2010 at 2:08 pm

      Hail Shewolf! Thanks for sharing your harrowing but oddly lyrical tale of survival…

      Hey now that I think of it, you know what? I think maybe a time traveling troubadour must have read your tale and gone back in time to make a hit song about it! You should seriously sue!

      But above all, keep on keeping on!

      Seth

      Reply
  44. Larkolycan says

    May 2, 2010 at 11:18 pm

    Megaconda assasinated snook up on it inthe trees and jumpped. Perfect kill! XD

    Reply
  45. Avara wolf says

    May 3, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Awsome well done!

    Reply
  46. Wilwolf says

    May 3, 2010 at 5:31 pm

    U never c zombies complaining bout who they r, n I dnt complain bout bein a werewolf, it’s better than u relize I get to kill people in my personal vendatt, hitlist in wolf language, learned it today

    Reply
    • Seth says

      May 4, 2010 at 1:50 pm

      Truer words were never spoken Wilwolf… especially by a zombie.

      Occasionally the cultural propaganda machine will grind out a tale of articulate or even poetic zombies and the Zombie Actors’ Guild will try to convince the public there are real zombie actors playing those parts – but we know the truth!

      Thanks for writing in.

      Seth

      Reply
  47. Larkolycan says

    May 3, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    Cool (cool guy emoticon BJ.)

    Reply
  48. Shewolf says

    May 3, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    I hope your right avara wolf, I don’t like who I am I don’t like being this monster. I have killed more than needed. I have lost friends and family because of who I am and wilwolf I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m complaining, I’m not trying to but I have reason to believe that there is something wrong with me werewolf wise. But I’m not sure. Sorry if I’m complaining, I’m just ready to be murdered.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      May 4, 2010 at 1:46 pm

      Hang in there Shewolf. You’re not alone. As the immortal August Wilson once said, “Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”

      Or philosopher Tori Amos, who once said, “Dive deep into your soul and explore it. Get to know the monsters that live there…” so you can Photoshop them out. [sic].

      Taking those first brave steps is the hardest part. Take it from Avara Wolf. She has been there.

      Keep on keeping on!

      Seth

      Reply
  49. Avara wolf says

    May 4, 2010 at 11:17 am

    Hey don’t diss yourself your just going through a rough patch and wilowolf lay off shewolf you would complain to if you were going through what she is

    Reply
  50. Larkolycan says

    May 4, 2010 at 12:18 pm

    I’ve lost more than friends I’ve lost my family…, my father…,my sister…,my best friend Tory ( also a werewolf). We fought an army of vampires and werewolf hunters and nearly lost.

    Reply
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Links

  • Spray Nine
  • The SOS Monstrometer
  • ZAG – Zombie Actor's Guild
  • Zombie Specimens

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