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Vampires: You May Be Dealing With A Vampire

Probably the biggest threat posed by the preternaturally hot modern Vampires is the threat to your ego.

I’m talking about the damaging cycle of self-doubt you experience trying to date one. Don’t I smell good enough for her? What if she reads my thoughts right now when I’m thinking about picking my nose? Why is she acting like she just wants to just suck me dry? Can’t she see how eternally fascinating I could be?


But hey that’s just me. I’m a man on the rebound so maybe my perspective is a little skewed.  If dating a vampire isn’t YOUR ultimate survival fantasy then you are advised to:

1. Beware their sexy hypnotic gaze – avoid eye contact!

2. Beware their sexy hypnotic bodies – don’t look!

3. Beware their sexy hypnotic voices – don’t listen!

4. Beware their sexy hypnotic marriage proposals. Think of how long FOREVER means to a vampire!

Failed on #1 – 4? CONGRATULATIONS. Lucky! Have fun but please try to recall all those safer sex tips from health class because your Vampire lover’s 19th Century high school curriculum DEFINITELY missed out on that part.


Congratulations! Many consider vampires the penultimate survivors! Eternal life AND good looks – what more could you ask for? Socially acceptable nourishment needs? Look no further! On November 7, a team of scientists led by vampire Dr. Mick Bhatia discovered how to turn skin cells into blood cells just by manipulating a few proteins. No more snacking on squirrels and purse puppies! A fully viable liquid food source for ethical vampires may be mere moments away. (See it here at http://sethonsurvival.com/survival-news/vampire-researchers-make-blood-from-human-skin)

Of course there are still a few things to remain aware of as a vampire. Sunlight for one. The *we sparkle in sunlight!* campaign appears to be flaming out. While the sparklers had a good run, the facts are that while some younger and part vampires do in fact sparkle, the majority of older and full vampires still go up in flames when exposed to direct sunlight without magical or technological intervention. This is about more than sunscreen. If  you’re thinking of going vampire and you don’t have your own Day Walker ring yet, it’s time to invest. Finding a certified Day Walker ring is even more important than finding a vampire willing to change you. Don’t even consider one without the other. Valuable information about these rings is found in the comments below. Meanwhile vampire engineers and architects work overtime to design safer sun-proof vehicles and buildings.

Finally, let’s talk about your vampire thrall. Vampires need to be very careful (and considerate) when they are turning on the thrall power.  I’m not just talking about dating etiquette here. Aiming your hypnotic eye mojo on some poor mortal sucker might seem like a great way to get free blood and donuts but the consequences can be devastating for both parties. Thrall-sick love slaves who are repeatedly denied your dark gift will eventually go insane 99.99% of the time. And who do you think they turn on first? So please. If you can’t control it yet, keep your tractor beam behind protective sunglasses, even at night.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

6,647 comments to Vampires: You May Be Dealing With A Vampire

  • Rainstorm


    • Vanessa

      Just wanted a little snack, here puppy! Come here!

    • Fenrir Ulfangr

      Well, how about I even the odds

    • Josh

      Oooooh u don’t want it although it gives u strength and whatnot it will change how u live (not for me though) however if u learn to control your bloodlust then u can lead a normal I’m still biting off skin to get to my blood I know that’s not what your supposed to do but that’s what I do saves anyone from being hurt

    • Josh

      How I became one is just a few nights ago soone in my family’s window opened (when everyone was asleep) right after that I fell asleep and I woke up and felt tired but later that night I was hyper I felt hungry I tried food didn’t work water helped slightly cut my finger (by accident) drunk a wee bit and felt better. Also my friend and I are both vampires and were afraid of our friend he doesn’t know he’s a werewolf but we suspect that he is, he is just soo werewolf like it’s very strange

      Josh J 🙂

      • Hail Josh,

        Thanks for your frankly freaky SOS report. SOS has three supernatural survival rules, moderated by me personally and admittedly imperfectly. One, no real names, ages, or precise locations on the site. This applies to all of us, including me. Two, no nihilist anti-survivalism or morbid fatalism. Survivors keep on keeping on. And three, er…your survival is my survival!


        • Josh

          I’ve been wondering. I can move my shoulder blades about (I can crawl very well) does this relate to my vampirism

          • Hail Josh,

            Thanks for your observation. While the symptom you describe is associated with a number of supernatural conditions, ranging from draconianism to angelicism to garden variety therianthropy, the fact that you are a confirmed vampire is obviously highly suspicious. While most vampires never grow wings or transform into bats, there are some who can/do both on occasion. Should you happen to be one of these angelic – or demonic types (depending on your point of view in regards to fallen angels) count yourself lucky and begin spelunking for an awesome cave hang out. I recommend one of those ice caves in Antarctica but hey that’s just me.

            And long may you keep on keeping on,


  • WereVamp Draco

    I need help as you can see in my name I’m werewolf dragon and vampire

  • Scarlett Lupa

    Ughhh I haven’t been on lately but then again it’s a bit boring….nothing seems to be going on….

  • Rainstorm

    Hey guys, just updating… Ive been gone a while, like a year… Ill tell whats been up on the Werewolves page tomorrow. 😉

  • Tahya

    How do u know ur a vampire? 🙄 😥

  • Diana Eleanora

    It’s me again I tested my friend H. She is a freaking DEMIGODDESS!!!!! Maybe she is the goddess of fashion and pink and sparkles and pandas 🙂

  • Diana Eleanora

    Seth, how rare are demigoddesses?

  • Diana Eleanora

    By the way, Azrael, what kind of being are you? And I didn’t mean for that to come off as rude. Sorry in advance.

  • Flare

    Im am a vampire well at least I think I am cause I’m 90% vampire

  • Akantha

    Hey just found out I’m half vampire kinda excited kinda freaked out!! I have an undeniable thirst for blood but only sometimes. Since in only half vampire blood isn’t a necessity. I love the dark & hate the day. My fangs are extremely sharp. But I do have one question….what can I do to prevent myself from hurting those of whom I care about?
    Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

    P.S.-my name Akantha means thorn

  • Akantha

    Thanks for the help! I like the sound of a “normal” life!

    • Cheshire Cat

      Yeah hatters advice isn’t alway completely sound so please try and do what the reaper said then if that doesn’t work then do what the hatter said as well as getting a job at a hospital

    • Akantha

      I would Chesire but I’m kind of different from other vampires. They don’t sell pig blood where I live plus I’ve actually tried it before & it’s very fattening. Plus how do I get used to feeding off of animals when I’ve only fed off of humans? I’ve accidentally fed of some friends in the middle of school.

  • Akantha

    I’m the type of vampire you could call a “swamp vampire” or a “marsh vampire”

  • Akantha

    Seeing as I am from the south

  • Agharna Phellan

    Oh… Nevermind then…
    -floats away-

  • Agharna Phellan

    I feel bad for this generation if the concept of vampires has escaped it’s grasp. I turned many humans into thralls back in days past in the land you mortals now refer to as ‘England’. I am to England what Dracula is to Transylvania.

  • Agharna Phellan

    Is that what they told you? I guess the plan worked as well as we had intended…

  • Agharna Phellan

    Good morning, survivors and may swift tragedy befall none of you in the coming days.

  • Akantha

    I mean if not id stupid autocorrect

  • Wolf

    What do I do my brother is a vamp and i’am a werewolf

  • Agent RB



    • Hatter MT

      Penelope what the Cheshire Cat did you do? I know those are real police and for a cat you have very bad lying skills btw *does hat trick leaving you to fend for yourself*

      • Agent RB



        • Hatter

          I don’t like that game and plus you were literally a reapers weapon used for taking the soul from a body *picks you up and literally kicks you to Vancouver* have a nice trip

    • Hecate

      Geez Penelope, you’re a monster… RB I expect you to keep track of your pets better

      • Hatter

        Umm actually Hecate after RB took a leave of absence his cat-top/scythe changed her ownership until his return I have had Penelope all weekend and I know exactly where she is

  • Lord Zobek

    Ello luvs. Greetings Akantha 😉 and salutations to everyone else.

    • Bluestar

      …your little love a month ago wad higly disturbing to sone of us young’uns i am from california but i speak as if im from utah or arizona some even think texas. Ohhhh waaait i have relatives in utah and arizona the ones in utah basically own utah cause theres so many Reaper there was some person probably on a deathlist on urs or something named Ed Barlow..yeah that was my great uncle

  • Bluestar

    I have a friend who says shes a vampire and i think she already has a thrall who is a bit of a stupid kid but he shouldnt be cause hes asian and asians are USUALLY smart but i know why hes a bit stupid cause hes her thrall

  • Marney

    well I guess I can post here now since I know the truth. I am a Turned vampire. I found out about my Sire. In a past life and I guess now currently do to my Sire, I was and am of the family Dracule (today called Dracula) I was turned in this life by one of that family. So i guess i am of that Family once more. I am young by Vampire standards in this life. and am fully now acccepting what i am though sometimes it is hard to do. I hope to speak to other Vampires here or hybrids.

  • Adisa

    😳 Hi seth my name is Adisa I need to know how do I become a full vampire because I became a vampire by inherted it from my ancenstors.

  • Diana Eleanora

    Hey what has everyone been up to? My friends are being very evasive and a conversation not involving too much arguing cuddling or smack talk would be nice.

  • I am a vampyre fledgling and i need help. My wings are growing in and i need help. And my fangs arent coming and i am close to XX and need help

    Edited by Seth: For your safety please do not post your email, age, birthday (or year of birth), full real name or location (country or state is okay but city or town is too specific) on the site. Your survival is important!

  • Can anyone help me please? I do not have my training fangs yet or my wings and i am a full vampyre with a day walker necklace. Please help.

  • Thank you reaper but i would like to know which side of the family did this come from and i have another question. How do you tell if its a guy vampire.

  • Assanjin

    Vampires, also known as Methusala are peculiar indeed many forms exist from weak to strong breed.

    Dhampir- They are the half breeds, able to eat human food and drink blood. Their scent is attractive to methusala, it is said to smell like sweet honey to them.

    Fledgling- The newly formed vampire. They have the strongest hunger of any kind, as their bodies are still fine tuning to the changes. They can have some of the stronger strength averages among vampires.

    Night stalkers- They are the seasoned hunters, already in tune with their ability of hypnosis, matter manipulation, shape shifting and most known abilities. Beware for they cast no shadow.

    Count- Elder vampires who manage to live for millennia, these are the blood suckers of legend. They are weak to sunlight and are for some unknown reason allergic to one of the most common spices in the world, garlic, they hate the stuff. Their completely mastered all vampiric abilities and also can rather easily lift 25 tons of force and mass. But be wary they have a very simple weakness, they cannot deny nannies, if you say please may I be allowed to live they are obligated to oblige.

    Crusnik- The kin slayer, executioner, immortal of immortals, these creatures are amongthe most dangerous of the breeds. They are vampires who hunt down and eat other vampires, over time, these vampires steadily grow in strength by absorbing the strength of their prey and their own kind. The older the more dangerous. I encountered one crusnik in my lifetime, his name was Alucard, he killed Vladimus Draculia the 3rd also known as Vlad the Impaler on a pike and drank him dry. That was no easy task mind you. We faced for three days, neither giving way until he was drained of strength from lack of blood and so I let him go. Crusniks are fierce warriors, possessing greater speed and strength the more time they live.

    Vladimus Draculia the 3rd- Legendary vampire who was the ruler of Romania long ago, he was better known as Vlad the Impaler considering that he would line his enemies on pikes to act as an example. He has felled millions, and millions. His reign only ended when a young Crusnik defeated him in battle, but not through skill but by sheer luck, no methusala has ever been feared as much as the dragon of Romania, earning him the title king of the vampires.

    • Hatter MT

      Correction: Vladimir tepes dracula the 3rd Also known as vlad the Impaler AKA the great oath, and it would be spears not pikes, he was decommissioned by a revolting government but is rumoured to have returned as Rescently as 1994. Oh and only you and kurogane use the word methusala, the more common names in fact being homo vampirous and homo sanguineous.

      Did I mention you have the logical mind of an adlet? An adlet being a vampiric variation of lycanthrope, speaking of lycanthrope which is a mixture between two greek words that make lycanthrope translate as wolf man in fact the first official mention of lycanthropic nature being a Greek story copied by every single last person influenced by Greeks including indirectly the Norse and pagan both of which connect to Fenrir who was NOT the inventor of werewolves please stop saying he is wait only he says that. Btw there is only 1 official kind of vampire and that is the one of legend not to confuse with dhampirs or fledglings who are both between the worlds of humans and vampires in a close to irreversible way only completely irreversible in the case of the dhampir

  • Thank you but one question,my mame is Calista Alucrad Demorii. Does this mean anything bad? Please help.

  • Sorry my middle name is wrong my ipod is BADLY lagging its Alucard not Alucrad. Sorry again.

  • Raven

    Hello. I’ve recently discovered that I might be a vampire. My best friend is also one and he is helping me through this since I have yet to get my fangs. I would appreciate it if anyone would reply! ^w^

  • raven269

    Hello. I have recently discovered that I am a vampire, but I have yet to get my fangs. My best friend is also a vampire and he is helping me with this. I would greatly appreciate it if some creature would give me advice on the matter of my fangs.

    • The Protected

      It’ll be just like growing new teeth. Gum ache, a bit tender in the are they’re growing. Nothing out of the ordinary, apart from maybe the fact they’ll be twice as long and sharp as normal canine teeth. Good luck, and, please don’t bite me, I’ve got enough on my hands as it is! (See comments below)

  • The Protected

    Seth! Loads of people in my school keep turning really pale. 🙁 It started off just one but now half the school is going pale. And now someone in my class has gone white! What do I do?!! ❓ ❓

  • The Protected

    Thanks for the advice, but I really need a way that both allows me to stay alive, and stay in the country. Though almost three quarters of the school have turned. Definatly keeping a stake and LED light on hand. Faking being ill tomorrow.

    • Hatter MT

      Well this would be where I tell you not to attack anyone and do a bit of a checklist of all possible survival techniques and then do a speech about how vampirism is a branch of humanity involving words like sanguineous and vampirus. But let’s skip that and tell you to act like nothing is happening and wait to see what happens using standard anti vampire techniques and don’t use holy relics those work as well against vampires as salt against a banshee

  • The Protected

    Powerwolf how did u know my best friend is a girl?!! ❓
    What are u ❗

  • The Protected

    Uh oh! I think my twin changed my avatar

  • The Protected

    I figured out how to do magic! Quite simple really.

    • raven269

      Indeed it is, Protected. I love doing magick. Especially if it does good for my friends and family. ^w^ do you know any spells? If so, how many? I’m not trying to be rude. Sorry if I seem like I am.


      • The Protected

        You misunderstand me Raven. This is magik without spell craft. The answer actuall lies in quantum physics. Two atoms can sometimes be found in the same place. This means that there are a number of alternate realities. This means that if you truly believe something, it shall travel from another reality into this one. This is why you sometimes put your coffe down and it disspears:someone from another reality is believing they have a cup of coffee. Therefore the key to non-verbal magik is not knowing the limits. This is how magicians such as Dynamo work.

  • The Protected

    I don’t think the humans know it, but my race are dominant in the UK. (That’s where I live)

  • Dear Seth and other people reading this
    Is all this stuff from the website real

    • Hail Calista,

      Thanks for your SOS message and congrats on your Halloween survival. I wish to assure you personally, this is real. All the individual beings who post on SOS are real, including me. That’s why for the protection of everyone involved, we all survive under assumed names.

      If you wish to be a part of the SOS community and chat about your supernatural survival, please ensure that you too, never divulge your real name, age or location.

      Long may you keep on keeping on,


  • Thank you Seth. How do you tell if someone else is a vampire without doing this test. Some vampires are shy so how can you tell. Also when do vampires get their full fangs and wings? Thanks again!!

    • AP

      Have you tried conveniently placing mirrors and holy icons?

    • Hail Calista,

      Thanks for your SOS report. I just want to endorse the excellent advice of AP below. His suggestion of a mirror trap is sound – if your friend has fully turned. Of course the mirrors must be true mirrors, the old-fashioned kind with the real silver backing or it won’t work as vampire reflections do in fact appear on shiny surfaces just like a humans. Only holy water and true silver mirrors should be used to set a mirror trap. Also if your friend has already turned full vamp you will need to be sneaky about your trap as she will be on the lookout…

      Survivors may have suggestions for how to set an effective mirror trap. I’ll look into the archives.


  • raven269

    Greetings, Survivors! I’m back. Sorry about being gone so long. Much has happened to me, but I am still in one piece, thank the gods. The Vampire Princess is still my mentor/mistress. Very happy about that indeed. I do apologize for being gone so long.


  • Marney

    I have a few questions as this came up while I was on vacation. A friend of mine who I was visiting, said she can really sence me as a Vampire. I do know off and on I see black wings on me. I hear Vampires cannot say turn into Bats? Or shapeshift? hey if I am some vampiric bat changer that would be kind of nice.. anyway what can this mean? I am affected by sunlight in ways. it is by Light in general. can someone help me say an experienced vampire?

  • catveena

    As a fairy the concept of vampires are amusing and frightening. A blood substitute for vampires that’s good
    Doesn’t mean I’m ever going to trust them.

    • Fenrir Iceborn

      Hail lady of the Fae.
      My people have long been friends with the fairies. I even know some of the Fae Hounds (Cu Sidhe) since I’m involved in the Wild Hunt.

      There Are many Clans of them I’m an Ulf so mostly all I know is about K*lling them. Still certain clans can be useful but no they’re never really trustworthy.

      • Catveena

        *crinkles nose* they smell funny no that’s not right it’s the lack of smell that’s freaky and it’s there _I can make you do anything stare _ oh and how they enthral there humans . Holy crackers vampires freak me out.

  • MoreA

    Seth, just out of curiosity, have you ever had the opportunity to personally interview a vampire? If not are you open to doing so?

  • Angel Roar

    I think I’m turning vampire. I once, bled and they were two drops of blood on the ground. I wanted to taste a bit just to see what it tasted like, and I loved it, I just sucked the two drops of blood entirely. Also, I have pointy teeth and I run pretty fast, but my skin isn’t that pale though, just a bit. But if I am turning vampire, I know that I love werewolves 🙂

  • Radiocat


    Only a couple of years ago, I discovered I was a vampire… Fun. Anyways, every since around 3rd grade, I've had daydreams about cannabalism like any normal little girl. (Fun story, I remember threatening to kill a boy in my grade) So basically, lately I haven't been able to get it off my mind, I can't stop thinking about it. Is this normal? Thanks!

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