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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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Vampires: You May Be Dealing With A Vampire

Probably the biggest threat posed by the preternaturally hot modern Vampires is the threat to your ego.

I’m talking about the damaging cycle of self-doubt you experience trying to date one. Don’t I smell good enough for her? What if she reads my thoughts right now when I’m thinking about picking my nose? Why is she acting like she just wants to just suck me dry? Can’t she see how eternally fascinating I could be?

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But hey that’s just me. I’m a man on the rebound so maybe my perspective is a little skewed.  If dating a vampire isn’t YOUR ultimate survival fantasy then you are advised to:

1. Beware their sexy hypnotic gaze – avoid eye contact!

2. Beware their sexy hypnotic bodies – don’t look!

3. Beware their sexy hypnotic voices – don’t listen!

4. Beware their sexy hypnotic marriage proposals. Think of how long FOREVER means to a vampire!

Failed on #1 – 4? CONGRATULATIONS. Lucky! Have fun but please try to recall all those safer sex tips from health class because your Vampire lover’s 19th Century high school curriculum DEFINITELY missed out on that part.

~~~IF YOU ARE A VAMPIRE~~~

Congratulations! Many consider vampires the penultimate survivors! Eternal life AND good looks – what more could you ask for? Socially acceptable nourishment needs? Look no further! On November 7, a team of scientists led by vampire Dr. Mick Bhatia discovered how to turn skin cells into blood cells just by manipulating a few proteins. No more snacking on squirrels and purse puppies! A fully viable liquid food source for ethical vampires may be mere moments away. (See it here at http://sethonsurvival.com/survival-news/vampire-researchers-make-blood-from-human-skin)

Of course there are still a few things to remain aware of as a vampire. Sunlight for one. The *we sparkle in sunlight!* campaign appears to be flaming out. While the sparklers had a good run, the facts are that while some younger and part vampires do in fact sparkle, the majority of older and full vampires still go up in flames when exposed to direct sunlight without magical or technological intervention. This is about more than sunscreen. If  you’re thinking of going vampire and you don’t have your own Day Walker ring yet, it’s time to invest. Finding a certified Day Walker ring is even more important than finding a vampire willing to change you. Don’t even consider one without the other. Valuable information about these rings is found in the comments below. Meanwhile vampire engineers and architects work overtime to design safer sun-proof vehicles and buildings.

Finally, let’s talk about your vampire thrall. Vampires need to be very careful (and considerate) when they are turning on the thrall power.  I’m not just talking about dating etiquette here. Aiming your hypnotic eye mojo on some poor mortal sucker might seem like a great way to get free blood and donuts but the consequences can be devastating for both parties. Thrall-sick love slaves who are repeatedly denied your dark gift will eventually go insane 99.99% of the time. And who do you think they turn on first? So please. If you can’t control it yet, keep your tractor beam behind protective sunglasses, even at night.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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