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You are here: Home / Monstrometer / Vampires: You May Be Dealing With A Vampire

Vampires: You May Be Dealing With A Vampire

October 7, 2011 By Seth 6,653 Comments

Probably the biggest threat posed by the preternaturally hot modern Vampires is the threat to your ego.

I’m talking about the damaging cycle of self-doubt you experience trying to date one. Don’t I smell good enough for her? What if she reads my thoughts right now when I’m thinking about picking my nose? Why is she acting like she just wants to just suck me dry? Can’t she see how eternally fascinating I could be?

vampireDangerSign-Small-opt

But hey that’s just me. I’m a man on the rebound so maybe my perspective is a little skewed.  If dating a vampire isn’t YOUR ultimate survival fantasy then you are advised to:

1. Beware their sexy hypnotic gaze – avoid eye contact!

2. Beware their sexy hypnotic bodies – don’t look!

3. Beware their sexy hypnotic voices – don’t listen!

4. Beware their sexy hypnotic marriage proposals. Think of how long FOREVER means to a vampire!

Failed on #1 – 4? CONGRATULATIONS. Lucky! Have fun but please try to recall all those safer sex tips from health class because your Vampire lover’s 19th Century high school curriculum DEFINITELY missed out on that part.

~~~IF YOU ARE A VAMPIRE~~~

Congratulations! Many consider vampires the penultimate survivors! Eternal life AND good looks – what more could you ask for? Socially acceptable nourishment needs? Look no further! On November 7, a team of scientists led by vampire Dr. Mick Bhatia discovered how to turn skin cells into blood cells just by manipulating a few proteins. No more snacking on squirrels and purse puppies! A fully viable liquid food source for ethical vampires may be mere moments away. (See it here at http://sethonsurvival.com/survival-news/vampire-researchers-make-blood-from-human-skin)

Of course there are still a few things to remain aware of as a vampire. Sunlight for one. The *we sparkle in sunlight!* campaign appears to be flaming out. While the sparklers had a good run, the facts are that while some younger and part vampires do in fact sparkle, the majority of older and full vampires still go up in flames when exposed to direct sunlight without magical or technological intervention. This is about more than sunscreen. If  you’re thinking of going vampire and you don’t have your own Day Walker ring yet, it’s time to invest. Finding a certified Day Walker ring is even more important than finding a vampire willing to change you. Don’t even consider one without the other. Valuable information about these rings is found in the comments below. Meanwhile vampire engineers and architects work overtime to design safer sun-proof vehicles and buildings.

Finally, let’s talk about your vampire thrall. Vampires need to be very careful (and considerate) when they are turning on the thrall power.  I’m not just talking about dating etiquette here. Aiming your hypnotic eye mojo on some poor mortal sucker might seem like a great way to get free blood and donuts but the consequences can be devastating for both parties. Thrall-sick love slaves who are repeatedly denied your dark gift will eventually go insane 99.99% of the time. And who do you think they turn on first? So please. If you can’t control it yet, keep your tractor beam behind protective sunglasses, even at night.

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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Filed Under: Monstrometer Tagged With: iOS, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Monstrometer, Vampires

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Comments

  1. Vampcat says

    October 19, 2015 at 11:45 am

    I became a vampire not long ago. I need to make sure my friend isn’t a slayer… Seth, how do I know for sure she isn’t a slayer? Are they any signs she could be one?

    Reply
    • Ashkan says

      January 18, 2016 at 3:56 pm

      As long as you don’t go around harming innocent people, you don’t need to worry about slayers. A true Slayer protects the innocent, whether it be the vampire or the human. Slayers protect the vamps from the hunters and protect the humans from evil/unruly vamps.
      If your friend has all/most of the traits of a vampire, yet has no craving for blood, your friend is probably a Slayer.
      Be honest with your friend, chances are she will probably help and support you. If she is a Hunter, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Hunters are the vamp-killers. Slayers are the Innocent-protectors.

      Reply
      • Beast says

        January 19, 2016 at 9:48 am

        Hi I have a succubus who is in love with me I am a blood Mage and black magic pratitioner I can summon demons to my aid if I wish do you know anyone who might try to kill me and velvet that’s her name I want to save her my mother and grandmother who are vampires aswell as blood mages were torturing her and doing experiments on her they are also witches I’m a demonic vampiric werewolf but she says I’m an incubus but I don’t think so I’m trying to help her she loves me who do you think would hunt a blood Mage and a demon do you think priests will go after us.

        Reply
        • Ashkan says

          January 23, 2016 at 12:19 pm

          Succubi are extremely dangerous. But I doubt anyone would hunt either of you unless Velvet began causing trouble. And if I know demons, that’s always what they do. Priests have pretty much stopped hunting succubi. Though be warned, I sense an ill fate. If you are an incubus, many will turn against you for cooperating with a succubus.
          Just be alert and wary. Watch your step.

          Reply
      • Marney says

        February 17, 2016 at 6:47 pm

        I actauly agree with you on most of this. A real Hunter or Slayer does in fact have a code. My husband was good friends with one. Though me and him did clash. My husbands friend told me the only ones hunted no matter the species is if they start going around acting like a serial killer. Real Hunters do not go around killing others just for being what they are. And Hunters are in fact rare. i do not believe most of the ones going around saying I am being hunted ect. If they are call the cops because that is a Stalker not a hunter..

        Reply
    • Dracula says

      April 16, 2020 at 4:50 am

      Seth I’m so exited to be I vampire I its obvious I am one I have allgerjeys to garlic and my canine teeth are really sharp

      Reply
  2. Vampcat says

    October 23, 2015 at 7:33 pm

    Vampires are not immortal but they look younger (most of them). And also they won’t burn in sunlight but they will do react

    Reply
    • Seth says

      October 23, 2015 at 11:21 pm

      Hail Vampcat,

      Thanks for the supernat intel. What kind/group/family of vampire do you hail?

      Seth

      Reply
      • Angel Roar says

        November 8, 2015 at 2:25 pm

        I don’t know yet, I have to find out. I’ll tell when it’s cured and that I officially know what am I.

        Reply
        • Angel Roar says

          November 8, 2015 at 2:59 pm

          Not sure if they are some groups or not, but actually it’s always the same species.

          Reply
          • Mishael says

            November 8, 2015 at 11:05 pm

            Angel roar I recently found my mother is a vampire countess and my father a powerful warlock who dabbled in black magic they stole power from Odin and used it to create me. Oh and I’m not a troll I just like to talk to mortals when I’m bored I already destroyed the universe and enslaved the emperor this is the only thing I have to do besides torturing mortals. Anyway so technically I’m a demonic vampiric demon but instead of drinking blood I eat souls but I can do both. I need your help I have been bitten by a werewolf I might be a demon but I’m not immune to all werewolf and vampire bites. Now that I’ve been bitten by one of those mongrel dogs who knows what mutations could occur as much as I hate asking how can I remove this curse these are the werewolf space marines the Luna wolves who have had a long time grudge on me for cursing them it seems the curse back fired on me anyways tell me how to remove the curse. I’ll do anything to remove it.

            Reply
            • Fenrir Iceborn says

              November 9, 2015 at 9:17 pm

              Aye she corrupted the power. Creating the dark power. The Weirlohka was a Demon Lord. They led the first war against the light. Odin and I have power still we will not rest til your anihilation.

              Reply
              • Mishael says

                November 10, 2015 at 12:07 pm

                World will burn Titans will crumble I am the eternal horror they will help me remove this curse and help me end this pathetic world and recreate it in my image my dark eldar are hunting you down I have thousands of fleets of ships and swarms of ravens ready to eat their enemy’s they are looking for your ship I will free my parents and so let the invasion begin.

                Reply
                • Ravenwillow says

                  November 10, 2015 at 1:39 pm

                  Aren’t you forgetting that I’m still waiting for your riders and ravens to come get me…??? I’m growing impatient Belial…

                  Reply
            • Angel Roar says

              November 9, 2015 at 10:27 pm

              Ya ya ya when I talk about vampires you say you’re one ant then you start with your whole story again… Look, stop harassing me because I’m not wasting my time here and I’m trying to figure out what am I with the help of experienced survivors and Seth but not with a troll. Leave us alone, gosh.

              Reply
            • Ravenwillow says

              November 10, 2015 at 11:03 am

              See, Michael… This is what happens when you forget your manners… 🙄 🙄 🙄

              Reply
              • Mishael says

                November 10, 2015 at 12:09 pm

                Are you the one who planned this and are leading the Luna wolves no matter you will all scream for me.

                Reply
                • Ravenwillow says

                  November 10, 2015 at 1:36 pm

                  In. Your. Dreams. Hehehe…:roll: 🙄 🙄

                  Reply
                • Angel Roar says

                  November 10, 2015 at 5:56 pm

                  Scream? Sorry dude, I won’t scream in front of you, you’ll be disappointed…

                  Reply
      • Monster cat says

        April 14, 2020 at 3:51 pm

        Seth I’ve scanned vampire 9 times but I don’t act like a vampire

        Reply
  3. DUSKHEART says

    January 9, 2016 at 10:55 pm

    Hi! I think I may be a vampire. I LOVEEE the taste of blood. My canine teeth are REALLY sharp. All wood seems to hate me. I absolutely hate garlic. My vision is really sharp. And lastly, my skin is really pale. Is it possible?

    Reply
    • werewolf girl says

      January 10, 2016 at 11:09 pm

      yes

      Reply
    • Marney says

      February 17, 2016 at 6:50 pm

      not ALL vampires hate Garlic… I actauly like Garlic..

      Reply
  4. Marney says

    February 17, 2016 at 6:42 pm

    ok for a while I was trying to find myself. I leaned twords many connections spiritual ect. But am trying to get over my true denial of being a Vampire. (I can go in the sun but am VERY sensitive to it such as it drains me gives me bad migraines ect)But I have a hard time meeting other Legit vampires. I often come across what is called Human Living vampires. But meeting my own kind is hard. I right now feed from my husband. But can any Vampire thats experienced give any advice? I am not sure if I was Born or made. if made my Sire, Mentor, Maker whatever left me a long time ago with no help. I have been trying to learn on my own for years. One thing I know is wrong stated here is that No Werewolves and Vampires are not at war nor do they hate eachother. IF that is somewhat true, it falls to the persons at hand not entire species.

    Reply
    • Fenrir Iceborn says

      March 14, 2016 at 10:31 pm

      There was a war once, before the vampires escaped the Dark’s control. (No not dark like night, Dark like the sentient evil overmind).
      Anyway now we aren’t officially at war and sometimes things are friendly. But in general true wolves and true Vampyr don’t like being around each other. To many conflicting properties, like trying to mix vinegar and baking soda it can kinda explode.

      Reply
  5. Xavier says

    March 14, 2016 at 6:08 pm

    Does anyone know where I could obtain a day walker ring? I’ve been looking for one because I’ve been walking in the shadows and honestly it’s very suspicious, and I’m afraid the local group of hunters might catch onto me, so if anyone could tell me where to get one I’d be very greatful.

    Reply
    • Jessi says

      May 23, 2016 at 6:03 pm

      If you really need a day walker ring cast a spell on a normal one. It’s ‘day walker ring, day walker ring let this be; day walker ring day walker ring make this be’ 8 times or more if needed. You’re welcome.

      Reply
  6. DJP3682 says

    December 30, 2016 at 10:19 am

    I just figured out that I’m a vampire yesterday and I was wondering how strong is the hypnotic gaze, is it strong by itself or depends on the strength on the vampire that’s using it?

    Reply
    • Zyboragon says

      December 31, 2016 at 7:34 pm

      A vampires hyponotic gaze is extremely powerful on its own, however manipulation comes easier to some than others, for instance, a novice vampire who is also extremely timid may not be as hypnotic as one who’s confident.

      Reply
      • DJP3682 says

        January 1, 2017 at 7:01 pm

        Thanks Zyboragon

        Reply
    • Zyboragon says

      December 31, 2016 at 7:35 pm

      Incoming comment after mod

      Reply
  7. Miss Hawker says

    April 16, 2017 at 3:51 am

    Hey guys, I really need some help. How get I be turned, I would really like to become a werewolf but I can’t seem to locate any. Is there another way?

    Reply
  8. André Holm says

    November 3, 2018 at 6:00 pm

    Hi there my name is André Holm i wonder Why my mother did not tell me that im a daywalking vampire can you please explain to me Why my mother and father did not tell me the secret that i was a vampire and tell me Why my father is not telling it to my sisters because then i was younger my father told/ shared his life story about him then he was Young like me he told me that he had fangs / teeth like i have now so i tought he gave me a clue on that i was a vampire but i wonder Why my mother did not tell me that Why?

    Reply
    • Hatter says

      December 4, 2018 at 5:42 pm

      well, andré it really depends on quite a few things, however it should be noted that you have described yourself not as a “daywalker vampire” whatever that is. but rather as a Legacy Dhamphir which means your grandparent some generations ago was a vampire but each successive generation was more human while still carrying the vampire “gene”. it might be that public opinion mixed with the rather prolonged amount of time since the vampire relative caused your family to simply forget their monster ancestry which only manifested in abnormally shaped canine teeth. either that or they were waiting for you to manifest some other part of the heritage before explaining everything, or maybe your branch of the family was never informed it could be any number of things.

      Reply
  9. Wolf says

    August 12, 2019 at 2:30 am

    Incase my reply didn’t go though, that happens a lot, my discord name is pandareo #0336

    Reply
  10. sea child says

    March 2, 2020 at 1:05 pm

    Does anyone here know how accurate the monstrometer is? Cause I just got scanned for my 10th time as a vampire but I am have nothing in common with stereotypical vampires. I am not particularly attracted to blood, I’m not that pretty and I have no hypnotic potential at all! What does this mean?
    Thnx in advance,
    Sea child

    Reply
    • Sea child says

      May 11, 2020 at 6:44 am

      Is there anyone even on this site, I’m up to 14 scans saying I’m a vamp now
      Thanks in advance
      Sea child

      Reply
  11. Moon queen says

    March 27, 2020 at 10:01 am

    Pls help!
    I have been scanned 16 times as a vampire but share no properties with vampires!
    I don’t feel attracted to blood, am not pretty, not hypnotic, feel no aversion to the cross or holy water and I am (mostly) not evil ; )
    Thanks in advance
    Moon queen

    Reply
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