MERMONSTER OR MERMAID
Trust me on this, true Mermish are not your maid! Behind those perky shells and streaming hair is a powerful aquatic being.
But with a few common sense rules you can minimize the threat posed to you by the mermish ie: mermaids and mermen, enchanted nymphs and naiads and assorted aquatic aliens:
1. Avoid water access points, the 3-Bs: boats, beaches and bathrooms.
2. Eliminate all waterways in your own home. Close the water pipes.
3. Do you own a fish pond, tank or bowl? Consider finding a new pet. Unless the thought of waking up with a giant Koi munching your eyeball is appealing to you.
4. Purchase one or more stylish, safety approved Life Vest or PFD (personal flotation device). Wear it at all times. You won’t see the wave coming until it’s too late.
5. Mermonsters love bubbles so if you see bubbles coming you might want to run. And you may also be able to distract an angry mermonster with a simple bubble blowing device long enough for you to get away.
6. Avoid sewer grates especially during a heat wave. Not just because of the bad smell but because Mermonsters – particularly in landlocked cities – will take cover in the sewers to keep themselves moist and cool when nothing else is available. This is unpleasant business for any mermonster who is used to being very clean and it makes them very irritable. To pass the time they play TAG and TRIP with creatures who pass over the sewer grates. *All hail to Hails & Sereina for the great tip.*
IF THE MERMONSTER IS YOU!
Ah, hi. Please don’t explode my drink in my face. I know you’re not a MONSTER monster. Mermaids are great. Really. Who doesn’t love mermaids? Besides fishermen and some sailors, everyone loves mermaids. There are lots of mermaids – men on the site below. Here are a few of the tips submitted by the Mermish on this site:
1. Always drink through a straw to minimize the chances of water touching your skin and triggering a fishy reaction when people are watching.
2. Some mermaids MUST bathe every 24 hours or they start to weaken and die. If you are this type of mermaid carry a spray bottle of water with you where ever you go.
3. Never let the fish follow you home. You may want to save them all, you but a floating fish in a bubble of water who follows you everywhere you go is like hanging a sign on you that says, “MERMISH.” Not a good idea.by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com