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You are here: Home / Monstrometer / Aliens: How to Deal With An Alien

Aliens: How to Deal With An Alien

October 7, 2011 By Seth 328 Comments


alienDangerSign-Small-optDEALING WITH AN ALIEN or “VISITOR”

Aliens object to being called aliens, preferring the term, “visitor,” so never say, “Hey Alien please don’t incubate those eggs inside my chest cavity,” say “Hey visitor, I’m using that.”

Aliens or visitors are a diverse bunch. Consider: there are 9 trillion planets in our universe with an unknown number of species on each planet. So you’ll want to memorize the following 9 trillion rules for dealing with them…

Kidding! The point is there are no hard and fast rules for dealing with them, only guidelines and anecdotal reports that need to be updated all the time:

Anecdotal Report #1: Aliens or visitors love cat food and M & Ms. Mix the two together and carry them on you at all times. True or False?

Anecdotal Report #2: Aliens or visitors hate water. Arm yourself with an automatic water gun with lots of rounds, a wheelbarrow full of water balloons or just a good garden hose and watch them turn around. Confirm or correct?

Anecdotal Report #3: Aliens or visitors seek the warmth of your chest cavity to incubate their babies. You can fool them with a hyper-cooling ice vest like the kind worn by Olympic athletes in training. Please confirm or correct.

Anecdotal Report #4: When dealing with one hostile alien being who possibly wants to lay eggs in your warm chest cavity or hug your face with its tentacles, try the “Have You Met My Little Friend?” strategy. There are many complicated variations of this strategy but in short it involves introducing one hostile alien to another and hoping they will provoke a fight with each other, thus forgetting about you.

** UPDATE **

Hey Aliens, Friends of Aliens and people who are afraid of Aliens, there is new proof of alien life on Earth. Check out the photographic evidence of Aliens among us.

** UPDATE #2 **

And yet more proof of alien life on earth. You will want to wash your appendages after reading this article.

** UPDATE #3 **

An outpost has been discovered on Mars!

An amateur astronomer has discovered an image of what appears to be a structure on the surface of Mars. Is this evidence of life on Mars? Alien visitors to Mars? Has a secret colonization of Mars by Earth begun? No one knows for sure what the purpose of this structure may be or who built it or how long it has been there.

To see a video of it click/tap here http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=2418

** UPDATE #4 **
Delaware’s New Martian Ambassador

Delaware officially became the first Earth jurisdiction to open diplomatic relations with Mars. For more details visit this link: http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=3095

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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Filed Under: Monstrometer Tagged With: Aliens, iOS, iPad, iPhone, iPod Touch, Monstrometer, SOS, SOS Survival, survivors

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Alexthewerewolf says

    March 11, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    Correct they do want us

    Reply
  2. Danil40 says

    March 20, 2010 at 8:40 pm

    Do these rules also applie to the aliens from the aliens and aliens vs. Predator movies?

    Reply
    • Seth says

      March 22, 2010 at 1:51 pm

      Hail D, ty for your question. It’s a good one. I seriously hope this doesn’t find you lobbing cat food + M&M balls at one of those monsters. We should all remember to take Hollywood propaganda with a grain of salt, but reports of aliens using humans as incubators for their young have been corroborated by diverse sources and can’t be merely dismissed.

      In this regard, number three may be the only currently viable alternative – a cooling vest. Originally developed for summer Olympic athletes, these vests have become more popular recently as alien-fighting-armour. The pockets of coolant on the outside of your body is said to fool any alien seeking a warm place for her eggs. A temporary effect but hopefully long enough for you to eliminate or escape the threat.

      Good luck D. Keep on keeping on.

      Seth

      Reply
  3. Nightwolf says

    March 27, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    Hmm they hate water what animal does that remind you of that’s right cats I have one cat that didn’t hate water so could cats be skeins in disguse and my cats all ways walk on peoples chests cats are aleins in hiding see if you have cats beware who knows what they can do

    Reply
    • Seth says

      March 29, 2010 at 3:51 pm

      TYVM for you comment Nightwolf. Your theory definately holds water — it’s not cattiness to be concerned about the cats. Since ancient times our feline friends have been implicated in any number of supernatural occurrences, from mummy cats roaming Egyptian tombs, to those tigroid therianthropes known by some as werecats and of course every witch’s friend, the feline familiar.

      So who is to say your cat is not an alien? They are sometimes proposed as having the ability to detect aliens… and you know what they say, it takes on to know one.

      Thanks for keeping an eye on the situation.

      Seth

      Reply
  4. Nightwolf says

    March 27, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    mean aleins

    Reply
  5. Vampire Amelia says

    March 29, 2010 at 7:58 pm

    Uh oh. I have 2 cats.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      March 31, 2010 at 12:48 pm

      Well don’t get too worried yet but keep an eye on them! If you are friendly to them they will likely spare you to be their slave and bring them food when they take over the world… oh… hmmm… it may be too late already.

      Seth

      Reply
  6. Nightwolf says

    March 30, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Um I have 3 cats and I love m an ms and I have a friend that loves cats and man m but I never seen him eat cat food and I don’t eat it so could he be a alien

    Reply
    • Seth says

      March 31, 2010 at 12:45 pm

      Well just about anyone “could” be an alien but most aren’t (I hope!). However I think the key fact here is that you have never “seen” him eating cat food. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t eat cat food behind your back… just saying…

      Seth

      Reply
  7. Shadow wolf says

    October 10, 2010 at 6:48 pm

    Is it weird that cats talk 2 me, well my cats in particular. I eat cat food and dog treats but that’s just cuz I’m weird.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      October 17, 2010 at 8:27 pm

      Hail Shadow Wolf,

      I think you answered your own question there… 😉 Not that I think you are weird but some might… Just saying…

      What do your cats say to you? Maybe they are asking for their food back… 😉

      Seth

      Reply
  8. Seth says

    November 14, 2010 at 1:23 am

    Hey Aliens, Friends of Aliens and people who are afraid of Aliens, there is new proof of alien life on Earth. Check out the photographic evidence of Aliens among us.

    Seth

    Reply
  9. IamavampyreAly says

    March 4, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    Thhis is a total lie. Im done believeing in all this mythical creature stuff. And not to be rude or anything but seth, i think you are insane or have mental disorders. But i will say one thing. I know vpires are real.

    Reply
    • Kenneth says

      March 17, 2011 at 5:55 pm

      Vampire ally, if u don’t like it stop reading it

      Reply
  10. Seth says

    March 7, 2011 at 12:25 am

    Hey Aliens, Friends of Aliens and people who are afraid of Aliens, there is even more proof of alien life on Earth. Check out the evidence of Aliens among us.

    Seth

    Reply
  11. Andraterra Nightshade says

    March 25, 2011 at 10:15 am

    1) MOST aliens don’t like water, all though some thrive in water, as some planets have completely been swallowed in the cleaenst freshest water possible, so shooting them with our dirty by comparison water will cause them to break out (hives zits) and give you a very angry wet alien, unless there from one of the few planets that are mostly water or are very curious about the water gun.

    2) ALL aliens love M&Ms not so much with the cat food though. Pizza, Muffins, chocolate, sweets, pastries, cupcakes, and frozen yougurt are things they ALL like.

    3) MOST aliens do not want to be a parrasite, they do NOT want to use you for incubation. Only the Ickies do that, and if they did want to use someone, they wouldn’t use us. we drink dirty water, breathe dirty air, and eat the grossest, fatty, greasy stuff and in general are ICKY!! Most aliens prefer to keep their offspring in THEM not the dirty icky humans

    Reply
    • Seth says

      March 26, 2011 at 7:46 pm

      Hail Andraterra Nightshade,

      That is some very interesting alien research. Kinda makes me wonder… ok I’ll ask.

      Are you in fact an alien? Is that how you know so much? If not then how do you know so much about them?

      In any case, alien or not, welcome to the site, thank you for the information and keep on keeping on.

      Seth

      Reply
      • Andraterra Nightshade says

        March 30, 2011 at 10:59 pm

        Yes,I am, although it’s rude to call us that,for future experiences. We prefer visitors. Other visitor stuff: we love music. Play some music pop,jazz,country,rap,hip hop, depends on the visitor,although music played LOUD and with a good base line and fast beats are found to neutralize us better. Visitors are BIG on monarchy. If you compliment one,they assume you truly mean it,but if they find out your lying,they’ll be hurt and will get back in a…um,death-y way… Visitors are pretty vain,so complimenting them is a good idea, as much as you can. Visitors laugh at inappropriate times,as they think your lives are hilarious what with the drama and such. If you say something like,” And then he dumped me for HER!!!!” they will probably cackle loudly,and exclaim”just like in the movies!” the word Earthy is a synonym for gross,icky,or dirty.(sad,hmm?)

        Reply
        • Seth says

          April 1, 2011 at 5:09 pm

          Hail Andraterra Nightshade,

          Thanks for this informative and entertaining info on visitor etiquette. On behalf of the earth-bound everywhere I apologize if the word alien has offended you – I certainly meant no offense by it. In the interest of avoiding any unfortunate incidents of deathyness in the future, you will note that I have added the word “visitors” to the site.

          So it’s good to know that visitors can be immobilized, er, I mean that visitors APPRECIATE earthly music, compliments and jokes. Although I admit, I’m still a bit confused. Can you clarify for us what exactly constitutes a valid, life-saving compliment? As opposed to one that might inadvertently incite an incident of deathy proportions? Do I say, “Wow. Your tentacles feel extra slimy today, have you been working out?” Or are aliens sensitive about the texture of their appendages? Is it even safe to shake hands with them? Help! I’m so confused.

          Seth

          Reply
          • Andraterra Nightshade says

            April 2, 2011 at 9:55 am

            Well,most visitors are in disguise,so you most likely won’t be seeing any tentacles. Just something like,”wow,your hair is so shiny! And your teeth are are awesome!” pick anything,even if it’s not accurate. I did see you changed it to visitors,and I can assure you,that will help you get on any visitors good side,and hopefully avoid deathyness! Shaking hands is fine,but they are really really sensitive about their faces. Because each side of a humans face is different,they find you extremely disgusting,as visitors faces are always perfectly symmetrical. Sarcasm, or making fun of their faces is a HORRIBLE idea, as it can make them…um,to say it delicately,blow up a small town.

            Reply
            • Seth says

              April 5, 2011 at 6:59 pm

              Hail Andraterra Nightshade,

              Thanks for the info. That’s really helpful. BTW did I mention that your hair is so awesome! And your teeth are shiny! Just FYI. (How was that?)

              Avoiding deathyness is the main objective here at SOS so facts like this are very very important. I certainly don’t want to cause an interplanetary war.

              Is it just visitor’s disguised faces that are very symmetrical or is it their real faces as well or the other way around?

              Seth

              Reply
              • Andraterra Nightshade says

                April 5, 2011 at 8:11 pm

                Well thank you seth!!!!!! How kind of you to notice!!!! Most humans don’t notice these facts,which is extremely rude,sad-making,and deathy-inducing. Usually both faces are perfectly symmetrical,although we occasionally have to make minor flaws to fit in. My face,however,is perfect, and breath-taking beautiful. And keeping my already mentioned shiny teeth and flawless hair shiny and flawless isnt easy with your stainy foods and crushingly-thick atmosphere. But enough about me and my flawlessness. Good words for visitors are flawless,perfect, and unbelievable. compliment them!!! No matter how inaccurate,insincere,or ridiculous,they will completely believe you. So just as their about to eat you alive,compliment them on their minty-fresh breath and beautifully sharp incisors. My incisors are white and gorgeously razor-sharp,in case you were wondering.

                Reply
                • Andraterra Nightshade says

                  April 5, 2011 at 8:37 pm

                  Oopsie! Serena and I ate roomates and we share an account!! Sorry!

                  Reply
                • Seth says

                  April 15, 2011 at 9:36 pm

                  Hail Andraterra Nightshade,

                  No worries I fixed that up for you. You and Serena should probably each get your own account though. Sharing and account can sometimes create weird mix ups.

                  My what beautiful yet sharp teeth you have!

                  Keep on keeping on.

                  Seth

                  Reply
  12. Andraterra Nightshade says

    April 28, 2011 at 7:04 pm

    thanks Seth! Soda is awesome. Random,huh? Well, squirt some soda in our mouths, and we’ll,um…. get high off the bubbles. This could backfire as they can suddenly get viciously angry, but usually will make them giggle uncontrollably and you can run free. so yes, soda is actually a very effective weapon. Just don’t be using that on me,please.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      April 29, 2011 at 3:26 pm

      Hail Andraterra Nightshade,

      Thanks for the tip. Are you telling me that soda will cause you to float and giggle? And what flavor would you advise is most effective to not use on you?

      Thanks for keeping on!

      Seth

      Reply
  13. wolf of stuff says

    May 1, 2011 at 6:59 pm

    my girlfriend is an alien what the crap should i do

    Reply
    • Seth says

      May 9, 2011 at 12:11 am

      Hail Wolf of Stuff,

      Thanks for keeping on and for scanning your GF! Scanning your loved ones is among the scariest and most important things you can do to survive. (I should know I’ve been trying for almost two years now… but that’s another story.) However, as we all know, you should NEVER scan unless you are prepared to live with the results…

      …like the result that your GF is an alien. A sobering result indeed. Do you have any idea what kind of alien? Can you snoop around for more info? Until you know more about her and her home planet and her mission here on earth, maybe hedge your bets, keep a stash of M and Ms and a can of cat food with you at all times.

      Keep on keeping on,

      Seth

      Reply
      • wolf of stuff says

        May 22, 2011 at 9:57 pm

        thanks

        Reply
  14. pauzzis97 says

    May 8, 2011 at 2:15 pm

    i had 2 alien turtles in my house ! i loved them sooooooooooo much and both died 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥

    Reply
    • Seth says

      May 8, 2011 at 11:51 pm

      Hail Pauzzis97,

      Thanks for keeping on. I’m sorry to hear about your alien turtles. Understand it’s pretty hard to provide for their requirements. I’m sure that you tried your best. Imagine how hard it would be for them to keep you alive on their planet in the Aldebaran system! (I’m not saying they keep human pets. I don’t know if they do or not. At any rate, I haven’t heard any stories about humans being brought there for pets.) (Yet.)

      Can you share anything you learned about the alien turtles in the time that you had together?

      Thanks for the keeping on keeping on,

      Seth

      Reply
      • pauzzis97 says

        May 8, 2011 at 11:56 pm

        well at night time they will always stand on a little rock i got them and started to open they’re mouth and a really creepy noise will come out and they stared at space every day ! WIERD !!!
        I think the king or emperor of they’re planet told his soldiers to kill my turtles because they were not doing they’re mission of taking over human kind !!!

        😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 😥 MISS THEM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH !!!!!!

        Reply
        • Seth says

          May 9, 2011 at 1:32 am

          Hail pauzzis97,

          If you email me the picture I can put it into your comment. I would really like to see it.

          Keep on keeping on.

          Seth

          Reply
          • pauzzis97 says

            May 12, 2011 at 5:49 pm

            seth can you take the comment of my turtles off i just finished crying by just looking at the picture ! PLSS BEG YOU !!!

            Reply
            • Seth says

              May 12, 2011 at 5:57 pm

              Hail pauzzis97,

              I took the picture out. Sorry you are so sad.

              Keep on keeping on.

              Seth

              Reply
              • pauzzis97 says

                May 12, 2011 at 6:02 pm

                thanks ! i think it was a mistake to put up the pic in the first place 😳

                Reply
  15. Seth says

    June 8, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Hail Survivors,

    An outpost has been discovered on Mars!

    An amateur astronomer has discovered an image of what appears to be a structure on the surface of Mars. Is this evidence of life on Mars? Alien visitors to Mars? Has a secret colonization of Mars by Earth begun? No one knows for sure what the purpose of this structure may be or who built it or how long it has been there.

    To see a video of it click/tap here http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=2418

    Seth

    Reply
  16. Andraterra Nightshade says

    June 23, 2011 at 4:49 pm

    Hail Seth!
    Sorry I’ve been gone. Had to…um,take care of something. As to your questions,Yes we’ll float to the ceiling laughing uncontrollably. But be warned. This effect doesn’t last too long,and we generally don’t appreciate that. As to flavors,it doesn’t really matter. A new big trend is to have humans as pets, so you’ll definatley be wanting to post that!! It’s really big now!! Beware of hot alien princesses! Not including me of course. I think some of the humans are hot. Anyways,yeah,beware because. This trend is already gotten bigger and bigger!!! If all else fails,say you know Princess Andraterra,and they should let you go. As for everyone else they’re pretty much screwed,although if you do end up posting thIs, I suppose everyone could use my name, but only in the most dire of emergencies. I’m not really into a inter-planetary war. Any questions?(:

    Reply
    • pauzzis97 says

      June 23, 2011 at 7:04 pm

      one question ? can i use your name if aliens attack me ? or if i’m a vamp they will let me go ????

      Reply
      • Seth says

        July 23, 2011 at 12:58 am

        Hail pauzzis97,

        Just wanted to point out to you the reply from Andraterra Nightshade in regards to your excellent question.

        http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=619&cpage=1#comment-62146

        Make sure to read the part about vampires, very important information for you to know there. I certainly don’t recommend letting an alien know that you are a vamp.

        Thanks for asking such a great question and keep on keeping on.

        Seth

        Reply
        • pauzzis97 says

          August 1, 2011 at 12:49 pm

          thanks for the tips seth 🙂

          Reply
    • Seth says

      July 8, 2011 at 3:01 pm

      Hail Andraterra Nightshade,

      Thanks for the heads up RE: INTERPLANETARY PET TRADE. It all makes sense now. “The Humane Society?” Are they involved in this interplanetary pet trade somehow? With a name like that? How can they not be. If it means a chance to explore the universe I would consider all offers but any aliens who want to abduct me should know I’m NOT ship broken.

      So I would like to second Pauzzi’s question here – can we use your name? And if so how does that work? Just say it out loud once and you’ll appear? How long will it take you? What do we do in the meantime?

      Seth

      Reply
  17. Andraterra Nightshade says

    July 15, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    Hail Seth!
    Just say “I am under princess Andraterras protection!!” and they should let you go. If not,then they’re probabaly rogues,and you’re screwed. But you should be good. as for being a vampire and letting you go,quite the opposite. They’ll either eat you,or torture you. Lots of visitors hunt vampires for sport!
    ~andraterra

    Reply
    • Seth says

      July 24, 2011 at 1:04 am

      Hail princess Andraterra,

      Thanks for the protection. I am totally pulling that one out the next time someone tries to take me to the mothership.

      Thanks also for the tip for vamps. I am sure they will appreciate knowing this important survival information even if they find it a little distressing.

      Are there any other supernatural creatures besides vamps that visitors like to snack on or otherwise harm?

      Keep on keeping on.

      Seth

      Reply
  18. Quinlan says

    July 29, 2011 at 4:47 am

    i think i am dying, alien plasmq disection not goof idea without gas mask and proper geear

    Reply
  19. Quinlan says

    July 29, 2011 at 5:04 am

    forgot i am angel for a minut no dying just ,much painjhnmnnnnnnnjjjjjjjjjjjj

    Reply
  20. Andraterra Nightshade says

    August 2, 2011 at 1:20 am

    Hail Seth!
    Nope,vamps are pretty much it,except for demigods. They can’t stand demigods. All visitors(surprisingly) have one god,so they(or should I say we) think the demigods Are a bunch of fakes. No disrespect intended,it’s the truth. You’d think visitors would hate seamonsters,but it’s actually the opposite. The
    Moon controls the tides,and is in space. For some reason,it’s a connection between them. And you blame us for supposedly wanting you to incubate our young,which WE DON’T and yet you dissect us? A little rude if you ask me. And Seth,if you’re ever faced with trouble,you can always be my pet! 😀 😀

    -Princess Andraterra

    Reply
    • Scarly says

      August 5, 2011 at 9:16 pm

      What about werewolves, Princess?

      Are we welcome or should we be covert.

      PS: Nice to meet you, I’m Scarly, a werewolf.

      Reply
      • Andraterra Nightshade says

        August 7, 2011 at 5:55 pm

        As far as i know, werewolves are fine, although I wouldn’t reccomend trying to piss off a visitor. They don’t take kindly to that. Nor do I. its very nice to meet you, Scarly.
        -Princess Andraterra

        Reply
        • Scarly says

          August 8, 2011 at 2:40 am

          I will be as respectful as possible, in order to make sure I stay in your good graces.

          Thanks again, Princess!

          Reply
  21. Andraterra Nightshade says

    August 28, 2011 at 10:26 am

    Any time, I welcome people who have a higher understanding of visitors, more than that we want to hide our young in your chest cavaties,which we absouloutly do NOT by the way. It’s refreshing to meet a werewolf who isn’t too high off of muffins to try and sink their fangs in me. I would not advise that, by the way. Amusing Fact, the werewolf virus can not spread to visitors, but there is indeed a race of visitors,called Argratians, that are much like werewolves, except they turn human looking on full moons, and are large intelligent wolves all the rest of the time. Perhaps that explains why werewolves are welcome in most society. Anyways, I myself am fasinated by werewolves. My visitor race is at peace with Argratians at the moment. I have an Argratian friend if you’re interested in conversing with her, although I warn you, like myself, she has little patience with stupidity (not accusing you, more of most earthlings) ,so try to stay on her good side as well as mine. 🙂
    -Princess Andraterra

    Reply
    • Seth says

      September 20, 2011 at 3:55 pm

      Hail Andraterra Nightshade,

      Thanks for keeping on and for this report on the Argratian lycomorphs who move from wolf to human and back again on the full moon. Please tell us more about them. How can we identify them in human form? Do they retain any of their lycaon characteristics? Do they transform en masse and remain in pack formation? How do they prepare for this? And how do they like to spend their human time? Do they know about werewolves? What do they think about WWs?

      If your friend could drop by and answer some of these questions, that would be grawesome. I’ll do my best to ensure decorum on the site.

      Seth

      Reply
  22. Andraterra Nightshade says

    September 25, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    Dear Seth,
    Like most visitors, the Argratians try to avoid Earth, but when they do have to stay on Earth, there are a few key charateristics about them and my people that is quite obvious.
    1.) They almost constantly listen to music through their headphones
    2.) Their eyes are a little like a feline’s, with the almond shaped pupil and golden iris
    3.) They crinkle their noses to show their disapproval or disgust (much like a wolf!)
    4.) Their usually quite tall and beautiful
    5.) They tend to observe interesting facts that most people don’t see
    6.) Like most visitors they feel a big connection to the moon, and can be found surfing
    And as for my Argratian friend, her name is Naiira (pronounced nyrah) and I might be able to convince her
    Love,
    Andraterra

    Reply
    • Seth says

      October 8, 2011 at 6:55 pm

      Hail Andraterra Nightshade,

      Thanks for stopping in and a belated thank you for this additional info about your Argration friend Naiira. Interesting to think her favorite human thing to do is to listen to music through headphones. Wolf ears aren’t exactly made for it so I can imagine how she thinks that’s one of the best things about being human. As for the things they see that humans can’t, is it night vision? Or something else? How long can she stay in human form? Is it only when the moon is full? Also, is she vulnerable to silver?

      That’s probably enough questions for now. I look forward to your keeping on when you are not too busy.

      Seth

      Reply
  23. quinlan says

    June 2, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    S O S CALLING ALL SURVIVORS TO THE ANGEL PAGE!

    Reply
  24. Dezai says

    June 21, 2012 at 12:29 am

    This page seems appropriate for a being such as myself, I am not of this world. I am insulted at the vile images you display above, is this how you portray beings of my status?

    Reply
    • Larcus says

      June 21, 2012 at 4:59 am

      Your status?

      Reply
      • Dezai says

        June 21, 2012 at 12:09 pm

        A king, a god among the lesser beings of this planet.

        Reply
        • Avalon says

          June 22, 2012 at 2:12 am

          Just what planet are you from?

          Reply
  25. Akantha says

    June 21, 2012 at 7:03 am

    Uh exactly what kind of image should Seth display then?

    Reply
    • Dezai says

      June 21, 2012 at 12:14 pm

      Something less vile, or at least a color change, the majority of “aliens” in the universe are blue.

      Reply
  26. Bebe says

    June 21, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    Well your the first one of your race that we have seen the one above is known to us….. 😈

    Reply
    • Dezai says

      June 21, 2012 at 7:19 pm

      Are you a dragon? You don’t talk like one.

      Reply
      • Matt says

        June 21, 2012 at 7:39 pm

        Bad Dezai! You should be nicer to Lady Bebe! Her husband would see to it himself!

        Reply
        • Dezai says

          June 21, 2012 at 8:01 pm

          Matt, a fitting name for a being of your status, I don’t care who her husband is, when I’m around everyone is up for grabs whether they’re spoken for or not, I might take this Bebe away just to anger you now.

          Reply
          • Matt says

            June 21, 2012 at 9:20 pm

            Go ahead and try. Zyboragon will stop you. And if not him, Bebe can defend herself quite well.

            Reply
            • Bebe says

              June 22, 2012 at 8:42 am

              Thank you Matt…. 😀

              Reply
          • Zyboragon says

            June 21, 2012 at 9:38 pm

            LEAVE MY WIFE ALONE.

            Reply
          • mrjaffa says

            June 22, 2012 at 8:56 am

            I suggest you take Zyboragons advice Dezai, even if he were not here, You would have most of the site to answer to, and that’s if Bebe somehow didn’t manage to kick your @ss.

            Reply
            • Dazai says

              June 22, 2012 at 1:09 pm

              You doubt me so soon, no wonder we consider this planet’s “intelligent life” as lesser beings. The most noble organisms living among you are plants. Not that me being one affects my judgement in any way.

              Reply
              • Anerian says

                June 22, 2012 at 2:12 pm

                Hey!!! Leave them alone! Who the HELL do you think you are??? Don’t even say that you’re a king. Because we (or should I say Z) defeated a rather lusty master! What makes you think you won’t be different???

                PS: GUYS! One egg is starting to hatch!!! >:3 My babies have eluded me for far too long!!! >:3

                Reply
                • Zyboragon says

                  June 22, 2012 at 3:28 pm

                  If I may see the hatchlings, I’d like to perform a blessing, bring them shortly after the last egg begins cracking.

                  Reply
              • Avalon says

                June 22, 2012 at 2:35 pm

                That’s some big talk. You better be able to back that up, or face the consequences.

                Reply
                • Anerian says

                  June 22, 2012 at 2:41 pm

                  Avalon! You were right! It was just a little while before they hached! I’M SO DANG HAPPY!!!

                  Reply
                  • Avalon says

                    June 22, 2012 at 2:48 pm

                    Congratulations, Anerian! 🙂

                    Reply
                • Dazai says

                  June 24, 2012 at 11:15 am

                  I laugh at you, the waters that cover your world is our spit.

                  Reply
                  • Avalon says

                    June 24, 2012 at 12:14 pm

                    I must admit, that does sound intimidating. Now are you sure you won’t tell us where you come from?

                    Reply
      • Bebe says

        June 21, 2012 at 8:42 pm

        Yes I am a Dragon a vampire/witch/dragon who is Queen Zyboragon is my husband who is King….. 😀

        Reply
        • Matt says

          June 21, 2012 at 9:17 pm

          Really, Bebe??? >:3

          Reply
          • Bebe says

            June 22, 2012 at 8:45 am

            Well yes I come from royalty 😀 😀 😀

            Reply
            • mrjaffa says

              June 22, 2012 at 8:52 am

              I was king of the Amazon…..

              Reply
              • Seth says

                June 22, 2012 at 2:40 pm

                …ack I’m starting to think the Dog Days should be renamed, Draconian Days. I haven’t seen this much Draconian infighting since Ytsaeb13 woke up from his hundred year nap and started picking fights….

                Reply
                • Bebe says

                  June 22, 2012 at 11:31 pm

                  Giggle

                  Reply
  27. Dazai says

    June 22, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    I wasn’t expecting a website to have shields. Moderation systems engaged.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      June 22, 2012 at 2:36 pm

      Hail Dazai,

      Thanks for checking into Survival. It is true this site has a moderation system designed and maintained by my buddy Graham to ensure your survival and mine. I also personally read every post on my phone, even when I don’t have time to reply. Or I try anyway. We also have three rules on the site, which is really only one rule: no real names, locations or ages. Your survival is my survival!

      That out of the way, are you currently experiencing a supernatural crisis? If so you’ve come to the right place, monstromologically speaking. How can we help?

      Seth

      Reply
      • Dazai says

        June 24, 2012 at 11:12 am

        I am only here to observe.

        Reply
        • Seth says

          June 28, 2012 at 3:17 am

          Hail Dazai,

          Well I hope you don’t mind if I keep an eye on you while you “observe” us do you?

          Keep on watching on.

          Seth

          Reply
  28. Dazai says

    July 5, 2012 at 3:14 am

    I apologize for my absence, I know you all must be going crazy for a change to talk with a superior being.
    I come from the plant world Plantos. Not very impressive I know, and I am a plantoid organism.
    Further information is classified.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      July 23, 2012 at 9:31 pm

      Hail Dazai,

      If your plantlyness has not returned back to your planet Plantos, I wonder if you can enlighten us about the situation below. Does this UFO sighting by Gwen 😀 below have anything to do with you or your people?

      Thanks for your photosynthesization of the events in question.

      By the way do you? Photosynthesize? Or what exactly do you eat anyway?

      Seth

      Reply
  29. Gwen:D says

    July 16, 2012 at 5:00 am

    (ok this might just be the fact that it’s like 2:00 in the morning and I’m like SUPER tired) but ok so Im about to go to bed when I look outside the window and I could have swore to seen a UFO! I’m flipping out I dint get any good pic by the time I got my phone it had left! I know that this sounds crazy but I swear I know what I saw and it was 92.5% sure it was a UFO. Does this mean that aliens are like snooping around during the night. And it’s weird I live in a REALLY quiet nothing little town?!?!? Super confused 😯 help?

    Reply
    • Seth says

      July 23, 2012 at 9:24 pm

      Hail Gwen :D,

      A belated thank you for for checking in with this supernatural situation. I hope you are still surviving.
      I can definitely confirm there are aliens watching you. In fact there’s one right above you, named Dazai. I will send him a message and ask if he knows anything about the night in question. Meanwhile, did you notice anything weird after this event? For instance did you check the time? Were you missing any? Also, anything strange growing in or around your house in the days immediately after?

      Thanks of keeping on whenever it’s safe for you.

      Seth

      Reply
      • Dazai says

        July 24, 2012 at 12:43 am

        If I could leave, I would the first chance I get!! Aliens are among you, many species have helped create life on Earth, my plant cousins here are proof of that.
        And Seth, I eat creatures that ask too many questions!!!

        Reply
        • Seth says

          July 26, 2012 at 8:43 am

          Hail Dazai,

          Er okay well thanks for keeping on. In the interests of my own survival then, I won’t ask anymore questions. Except this one. Do you have or know anyone who has a flying saucer?

          Please don’t be insulted. I know it’s an old stereotype. I’m only asking because of the 1,000 to 1 odds being offered that a flying saucer will appear at the opening ceremonies of the Olympics. If you or anyone you know should happen to have or have access to a flying saucer we could all make a lot of money just by driving by…

          Please consider.

          Also one more small question. Why can’t you leave, specifically?

          Seth

          Reply
  30. Gwen:D says

    July 25, 2012 at 2:37 pm

    Thanks for replying, nothing weird happened that night or around then. I looked up UFOs but none of them looked like the one I saw that night? Are they watching ME or my little town? You talk to an alien?!? I haven’t seen anything UFO invalided yet but I’ll keep looking.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      July 26, 2012 at 8:50 am

      Hail Gwen :D,

      Thanks for keeping your eyes open. Actually I talk to several fine aliens on a regular basis. I’m trying to stop asking them questions though because one of them wants to eat me. It’s not going so well.

      So what did the UFO you saw look like? I know you didn’t get a photo. Maybe you could draw a picture? Or describe? Did it happen to look like a flying saucer by any chance?

      I’m not making fun of you . I’m very serious, people are betting that a flying saucer will appear at the opening ceremony of the Olympics.

      Seth

      Reply
      • Gwen says

        July 28, 2012 at 5:02 am

        I’ll tell you all I know:
        •I will remain XX forever
        •I don’t kill people
        •Ive never meet anyone with my problem
        •I feed off of souls and blood(from animals)
        •my eyes are all pitch black but I can control them to any eye color
        •silver hurts me
        •croses don’t that’s a myth
        •things that can kill me are holy water silver bulets and knifes
        •I can not move when placed in a holy symbol
        •I don’t have horns
        •we look like humans if controlled
        • when angry we can’t control our eye color it gos back to black

        No I don’t work for anyone I am alone. There are others but I’ve only seen 1 the one that killed me.noone knows about my problem exept my aunt who I live with and my mother who left when I died and you now.

        Ask as many questions as you want I like having someone who wont freak out when I tell them this so thank you.

        Reply
  31. Gwen:D says

    July 26, 2012 at 1:12 pm

    The UFO I saw was like 3 or 4 big lights and big silver ball. Not a plane because it was so close, it dosnt look like anything you think an UFO would look like. I’m still googling UFO pics but all of them where just saucers and lights?

    Reply
    • Dazai says

      July 26, 2012 at 3:42 pm

      What you saw wasn’t a UFO, think of a living organism in a shell. Like your Earth creatures that you call turtles.

      Reply
  32. Gwen:D says

    July 26, 2012 at 5:33 pm

    Ok so a giant space turtel? With lights? It lives? Your an alien? I SOOO CONFUSED?

    Reply
    • Dazai says

      July 27, 2012 at 12:15 am

      What confuses you?
      Aliens come in many shapes, sizes, and species, aliens are everywhere, even you are an alien, being that I am from a planet millions of star systems away, every creature on Earth is alien to me.
      What you saw was probably an observer, Earth has space programs to observe other worlds and do other extra terrestrials.
      There’s nothing to be afraid of, nobody would attack this planet without a good reason, if someone wants a resource they would likely enslave you first before kiIIing you.

      Reply
  33. Gwen:D says

    July 27, 2012 at 12:19 am

    Oh ok… So aliens aren’t planing to enslave mankind and take over our planet? Oh and one more question, who exactly are you watching my naibors are a few miles away and the space craft thing was over my back yard? Are they watching me!?!?

    Reply
  34. Dazai says

    July 27, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    You might be interesting to them, are you human? Many species come to observe, if they’re looking at you, you might be above the the common rabble.
    Have you used Seth’s idenification tool The Monstrometer? It is a free application from what I’ve heard.

    Reply
  35. Gwen:D says

    July 27, 2012 at 4:03 pm

    How can I be interesting? Um sure im human 😯

    Reply
  36. Gwen:D says

    July 27, 2012 at 4:06 pm

    I’m kinda part human I guess… I ust to be.

    Reply
  37. Dazai says

    July 27, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    One of the most interesting things we find, how humans are the dominant species of this planet when there are creatures far more superior.
    Only part human you say?

    Reply
  38. Gwen:D says

    July 27, 2012 at 8:39 pm

    Well I’m dead. I was a human I still kinda am but I died XX years ago, I’m not supostt to talk about what I am or how I survived.

    Reply
    • Dazai says

      July 27, 2012 at 9:55 pm

      There you have it.

      Reply
      • Seth says

        July 28, 2012 at 3:40 am

        Hail Dazai & Gwen :D,

        Thanks for this very informative thread. And thanks very much for arranging for one of your turtle-like friends to appear at the opening ceremony of the Olympics today (see photo below). Or at least I assume that was you? Who was it anyway? Anyway thanks to this appearance Graham and I are at least 25 dollars richer today. Providing we can get the betting house to pay up…. Er Dazai can you please ask your friend what he wants for his cut and I’ll put it out in the yard for him? (Hopefully its just money and not say, my warm chest cavity.)

        Olympic bet pays off but will aliens want their cut?

        Oh and one last question. Gwen you’ve been DEAD for 14 years? How’s that going? Are you one of those ghosts with a job? Please tell me you’re not here to reap me or anything?

        Thanks for keeping on,

        Seth

        Reply
        • Gwen says

          July 28, 2012 at 5:17 am

          The answer for you earlier question. Well kind of… My heart stoped 14 years ago the same night I became “different” I’m not a ghost or a reaper, worse… a demon IM NOT EVIL I DON’T KILL, people think demon they think devil and evil monster but I’m not when I do kill it’s small creatures like rabits and deer and only when I need the blood or souls, I’ve learned to control my hunger and only feed once a month.

          Reply
  39. Gwen:D says

    July 27, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    I was only a few months old when this all happened. I was 4 mouths old when my heart stoped, my parents had made a very powerful enime with demons he promised never to have a child but my father did anyway we moved far away to a small town in the midle of nowhere so I would be hidden from them, but they found me my father begged for my life but they made him chose the child dies or becomes one of us, in order to save me I had to become one they slit my neck and poured some of there blood into me. I still have a scar from that night. My father had disappeared a week later leaving me to my aunt. I live with her now, she knows about that night I don’t know how. I go to a normal school, I can adjust my eyes to look like normal but it hurts. I cant tell anyone about me well I’m not suppost to. Please don’t ask questions I just want to be normal. Ive never arrows into that barn after that night there is still stains in the crib of my blood, I went up there once. But never again, I know I’m not alone.

    Reply
  40. Gwen:D says

    July 28, 2012 at 1:05 am

    How do they know I’m “different”?

    Reply
  41. Gwen:D says

    July 28, 2012 at 1:19 am

    Dear Seth,
    I want to be normal, you must know someone who knows how to change me. I want a beating heart, I want to not look in the mirror and see this unlovable souless deamon. I posted my story but it never came on the page for some reason. Please help! I’m sick of being this monster. You know how hard it is to be me, I can’t have friends,no one will see past me being “different”. Forever alone I can’t die so I’ll be forever alone. I can never tell anyone about myself but the people who are “diffrent” like me and you who talk to us. I’m a good person I only feed on souls I dont kill for feed, I go to church every Sunday praying there is hope for me. Will I be punished for my fathers past?

    Reply
    • Seth says

      July 28, 2012 at 4:38 am

      Hail Gwen,

      Thanks for your patience. Because SOS is all about survival, there is an evolving moderation filter designed to promote moderation and ensure safety. Plus I usually read the comments before they go up – sometimes Graham does if I am on a mission. Also sometimes I miss one and then I read it just in time to discover that a dangerous package is coming to my home or that somebody is coming to eat me or that somebody has been captured by A-51 or the Paranormal Police and needs a rescue. I hate those. But I digress. The point is that normalcy is in short supply around here. We do survival, not normalcy.

      So on to your question. 14 years DOES seem like a long time to be on the soul beat. Do you have a handler ie: a boss? What do they say about this? Is there no limit? Do you work alone or do you have a partner? Do you store them and hand them over to somebody else? Or just release them into the wild?

      That said, don’t give up the prayer. If you don’t see smoke when you kneel, it’s probably helping. Also I understand there are tricks to maintaining your corporeality. Let’s do some research and see if there are any survivors on the site with experience in this department.

      Thanks for keeping on,

      Seth

      Reply
      • Ice says

        July 29, 2012 at 5:10 pm

        *eyes turn green* I really dislike things that take children and change them especially when the children can’t fight back. That said I have heard of a case similar to yours. I may be wrong but I believe for full transition you need a “booster shot” of dēmon blood.

        Reply
  42. Gwen says

    July 30, 2012 at 2:19 am

    OK ASK YOUR LITTLE ALIEN FRIEND WHAT JUST FOLLOWED ME!!!!! I was out side to check my hourses when that same ship thing FOLLOWED ME with a light!?!?!?!?! I saw it and I took some pics one is kinda good but then a HUGE light like a spot light shined on me I got freaked out and ran away back inside but that light followed me I ran to my room to tell you this but I had droped my phone out side I went back but it’s gone no and a few feet away was this big metal ball I left it there do you have any idea what it is???!!!!??!! And whydose this ship keep bothering me? Why me!?!?!? I got a pic of the UFO thing this time it’s kinda blurry but it’s ok. Please talk to him about who is in that UFO and why did it fallow me and what is that metal ball thing what do I do with it.what is in it. Seth please help.

    The UFO that Gwen saw.

    Reply
  43. Xana Deanna Mooncrest says

    July 31, 2012 at 9:51 pm

    Oooh…
    Hello, children.
    The matriarch is here…

    Reply
    • Gwen says

      August 1, 2012 at 3:17 pm

      What the what are here???? Why are they here are you an alien?!? Why did they follow me with that light and always come to my house and what is that metal ball they left me?!?! I havent seen the ball since that night where did it go it it alive?!?! Why?!?!?!

      Reply
      • Xana Deanna Mooncrest says

        August 1, 2012 at 3:48 pm

        ??? Ball of metal? What?
        And, no, child. I’m not an alien.
        You all are the aliens.
        I come
        From a different planet, but
        I don’t remember sending a ship…

        Would you
        Like to have
        Your very own
        Facehugger?
        For free?

        Reply
        • Gwen says

          August 1, 2012 at 3:57 pm

          Hey I’m not a child I’m XX and I’m gonna be XX forever!
          Are there other planets who have space crafts like my pic?
          Ya there was a big ball of metal in my back yard after that space UFO left I left it there but now it’s gone what is it. Can you communicate with other planets and ask them what the frick tried to take me?
          A what did you say face hugger?? No I have enough alien problem rather than one hugging my face!?!?

          Reply
          • Xana Deanna Mooncrest says

            August 1, 2012 at 4:26 pm

            I think Zarghufaz 7 had ssssshipsssss like that…
            I think that goes for Nima, LT-19, Dihafaaza, Ok’Byok… And ssssome othersss.

            Oh, why not? My facehuggerssss are of the top breed.

            Reply
            • Gwen says

              August 1, 2012 at 5:42 pm

              Ok so can you talk to them about it? And why are you doing thissss with your s’s?
              I’m good I really don’t need an alian thing hugging my face.

              Reply
              • Xana Deanna Mooncrest says

                August 2, 2012 at 8:09 pm

                Oh, no,
                Mosssst of thessse beingsss
                Have their own languagesss.
                I’m lucky I can underssstand yoursss,
                All thessssse ssssoundsss are…
                Er, unique?

                As for the “Ssss’sss”… It’sss part of
                My ssspeciesss.
                We naturally hissss…
                And sssshriek…
                And sssscreech…

                And if you don’t like your face being hugged…
                I can jusssst as easssily “kissss” you and
                Implant the eggsss into your throat if
                It makesss you feel any better.

                And if that doessssn’t ssseem appealing…
                I have ssssome facehuggerssss you can adopt.
                They won’t attack you, and they tap dance! :3
                You jussst need to find them hossstsss every
                Month, or elssse they’ll… 🙁

                Reply
          • Seth says

            August 2, 2012 at 7:41 pm

            Hail Gwen,

            In the interests of survival, both yours and mine, there is a strict no ages, real names or locations policy at SOS. You don’t need any more aliens descending on your home!

            So what did you do with the metal ball in your yard? Please tell me you didn’t touch it, lick it or otherwise handle it?

            Thanks for keeping on creeping on,

            Seth

            Reply
  44. Gwen says

    August 3, 2012 at 12:15 am

    Your tellen me. No I left it there but the next time I came to see it it was open and clear goop was in it. The next day it was gone I’m not 100% sure but I have a feeling there was somthing alive in there!?!?! 

    Reply
  45. Gwen says

    August 3, 2012 at 3:44 am

    And ewww why would I lick it? I’m a demon not stupid I don’t just see a metal ball and thing “gee I should lick that!” 🙄 silly hunter. Oh by the way I had some questions you
    1.who/what do you hunt
    2.do you kill people/creatures/demons?
    3.my eyes turn red around humans and all I can think about killing or what so body’s blood would taste like, that’s never happened before in all 14 years. Help.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      August 6, 2012 at 5:19 pm

      Hail Gwen,

      I did not mean to imply anything about your intelligence on that one. It’s just er humans have this belief about demons, idk if it’s true but let me just put it out there – please don’t get mad. Here it is – Do you have a long forked tongue?

      Please don’t get mad. I wouldn’t want to break your 14 year stretch. As for the alien activity, this Xana Deanna doesn’t seem to give a whole lot of info, but I think I may have found the problem. I think they may be looking for this Air Force Colonel who confessed to shooting down their ship.

      Thanks for keeping an red eye on the situation in your area.

      Seth

      Reply
  46. Gwen says

    August 9, 2012 at 12:44 am

    THERE COMING FOR ME I HAVE TO HIDE goodbye after tonight I might not be posting anymore if you know what I mean. Worn other demons tell them they are coming they will get this.

    Reply
  47. imavampireforreal says

    October 26, 2012 at 7:18 am

    I have been audtucted by aliens im hacking into there space ship AHHHHH! I crashed : opps:

    Reply
    • imavampireforreal says

      October 26, 2012 at 7:22 am

      i ment opps

      Reply
  48. TheOneVisitor says

    November 21, 2012 at 10:52 am

    Seth. I am an alien (the near-immortal kind; I came here on my 327th birthday) What were you thinking with the cat food and M&Ms? That is a total myth. My kind is vulnerable to one thing and it’s definitely not that.

    Reply
    • Seth says

      November 25, 2012 at 5:00 pm

      Hail Visitor,

      Thanks for stopping by SOS on your visit. Happy belated 327th birthday. Is that a special milestone on your planet? Like, can you vote for an intergalactic emperor now or drive a fusion powered craft if you pass the test? Or is 327 just a run-of-the-mill birthday? In any event, hope it was happy. Thanks for celebrating it on Earth. I think. Er, well how did you celebrate exactly?

      And to your question re: cat food and M&Ms. Recent extra-terrestrial encounters here on Earth resulted in this belief. I believe the cat food theory originates in South Africa while the M&Ms report came originally from America. If it’s not true, as you say, please correct the record now. What exactly is your one vulnerability?

      Keep on keeping on,

      Seth

      Reply
  49. Angelica says

    November 23, 2012 at 7:17 pm

    Am I a hybrid? My mom is a angle and my dad is a werewolf

    Reply
    • Seth says

      December 3, 2012 at 12:05 am

      Hail Angelica,

      Sorry for the slow reply. Things have been pretty crazy around Survival HQ lately. Thanks for taking the time to write in!

      Well it certainly seems to me like you may very well be a hybrid (with a small h as opposed to a Hybrid with a capital H like my friend Mr Mutt). It is not that uncommon to have a survivor here on the site who is multiple parts of multiple monsters. However just because your parents are an angel and a werewolf does not necessarily mean that you will have inherited traits from both although that is the most likely outcome. This may also be complicated by the fact that you may not exhibit symptoms of both types at the same rate. You may develop one or the other earlier and be surprised when the other develops later and of course you always have to be wary about contracting a third or fourth type to go with your genetic inheritance.

      Have you started to exhibit any symptoms of either of your likely genetic inheritances?

      Keep on keeping on.

      Seth

      Reply
  50. TheOneVisitor says

    November 25, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Seth–
    In reply to your question, my one vulnerability is not to be disclosed where others could see *cough* Area 51 *cough*..

    Also, the 327th birthday is run of the mill, to quote you. It was quite happy, thank you very much. (Except for the fact I’m not actually visiting.. forced off my planet…)

    Reply
    • Seth says

      December 2, 2012 at 11:53 pm

      Hail TheOneVisitor!

      Well welcome to Earth anyways! So sorry to hear that you were forced off your planet, I at least hope that the atmosphere here is not poisonous to your kind so that you can breath or respirate in you own unique fashion with out the need for some kind of apparatus. Those can get really clunky and it is such a danger to survival when they don’t function properly.

      Further to my previous comments about cat food and M&Ms I certainly have never meant to imply that there were not more than one kind of extra-terrestrial visitors to Earth but I can only report on the ones I have encountered an have some information about.

      So on that note is there any non-vulnerability information that you can give me about your particular brand of visitor that I can add to the lore here on the site? Is there some kind of food or beverage that you particularly like? Some kind of greeting or salutation that we can perform upon making your acquaintance that may enable us to live through the event by letting you know that we come in peace?

      Thanks in advance for your assistance and keep on keeping on.

      Seth

      Reply
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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!

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