Loading ...
DEALING WITH AN ALIEN or “VISITOR”
Aliens object to being called aliens, preferring the term, “visitor,” so never say, “Hey Alien please don’t incubate those eggs inside my chest cavity,” say “Hey visitor, I’m using that.”
Aliens or visitors are a diverse bunch. Consider: there are 9 trillion planets in our universe with an unknown number of species on each planet. So you’ll want to memorize the following 9 trillion rules for dealing with them…
Kidding! The point is there are no hard and fast rules for dealing with them, only guidelines and anecdotal reports that need to be updated all the time:
Anecdotal Report #1: Aliens or visitors love cat food and M & Ms. Mix the two together and carry them on you at all times. True or False?
Anecdotal Report #2: Aliens or visitors hate water. Arm yourself with an automatic water gun with lots of rounds, a wheelbarrow full of water balloons or just a good garden hose and watch them turn around. Confirm or correct?
Anecdotal Report #3: Aliens or visitors seek the warmth of your chest cavity to incubate their babies. You can fool them with a hyper-cooling ice vest like the kind worn by Olympic athletes in training. Please confirm or correct.
Anecdotal Report #4: When dealing with one hostile alien being who possibly wants to lay eggs in your warm chest cavity or hug your face with its tentacles, try the “Have You Met My Little Friend?” strategy. There are many complicated variations of this strategy but in short it involves introducing one hostile alien to another and hoping they will provoke a fight with each other, thus forgetting about you.
** UPDATE **
Hey Aliens, Friends of Aliens and people who are afraid of Aliens, there is new proof of alien life on Earth. Check out the photographic evidence of Aliens among us.
** UPDATE #2 **
And yet more proof of alien life on earth. You will want to wash your appendages after reading this article.
** UPDATE #3 **
An outpost has been discovered on Mars!
An amateur astronomer has discovered an image of what appears to be a structure on the surface of Mars. Is this evidence of life on Mars? Alien visitors to Mars? Has a secret colonization of Mars by Earth begun? No one knows for sure what the purpose of this structure may be or who built it or how long it has been there.
To see a video of it click/tap here http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=2418
** UPDATE #4 **
Delaware’s New Martian Ambassador
Delaware officially became the first Earth jurisdiction to open diplomatic relations with Mars. For more details visit this link: http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=3095
by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com
I have got a friend that loves cat food. She starts to run around yelling BO! We tried scanning her with monstronometer, but it showed she was a phsyco-zombie-cannibal.What should I do?
I answered truthfully and it said I was a vampire I’m annoyed by this ow my wing it broke and I’m angry…
I would like to say welcome but I do not know if you have been here before. So if you are new: Welcome! If not: nice to meet you! First off, it is possible to be part fairy part vampire. It depends on where you got your fairy from. Is it from a parent or was it a gift/curse?
Hail Sweet Fairy,
Thanks for your SOS message. Sorry to hear about your wing but I am 99.98% sure that The Monstrometer has never broken a fairy’s wings. Okay, I know, it doesn’t detect Fairies yet. That’s partly because there are so many kinds of fairies and also partly because Graham is allergic to fairy dust. So if the Monstrometer has confused you, a fairy, with a vampire, my most sincere apologies. But, are you sure you aren’t part vampire as WW13 says? Or a vampire fairy? What kind of fairy are you?
Seth
Idk yet and I just got my wing healed and idk all I know is my friends is a vamp/human and I’m a airy/human so off it did I hope it doesn’t involve her eeek
Fairy/human sorry misspelled
So I hope I didn’t have anything to do with her sorry I can’t spell today
Mmm Area 51 I wonder if they found my____. I hope not.
My friend said she didn’t bite me and I’m a air fairy and I hate glitter…sorry stupid glitter I got side tracked
Seth help a vampire at school knows I’m a fairy and wants to kill me I have a human form and I think my wings were showing I’m so stupid stupid glitter
Hail Sweet Fairy,
Thanks for keeping on with your informative SOS reports. Why do you hate glitter again? What effect does it have on you? Are you allergic to it like Graham? Are your wings always present or just in certain lights or times or situations? Is the injured one showing all the time?
I need to know more, but so far I think you have a wing up on any vampire. What are your skills with sunlight? Can you reflect it her way? Just long enough to let her – or him – know that you mean business?
Also, does your situation have anything to do with the sudden flush of Fairy Fire reports around the globe?
Seth
hello, lowwbloods. i am a troll, an a prince at that an i wwas told that i could learn human… social skills here. especially romance. wwho knowws, i might havve a better chance wwith this simple romance instead of my owwn species complicated mess, wwhich Kar knowws all about but nevver bothers to explain because it takes too long.
Hail Eridan Ampora,
Thanks for you SOS message. I think. Did you come on the da14 asteroid? Are you telling me that was a deliberate Valentine’s day drop off? Are you friends with Tikiria Ishiu? Should I even ask about dating on your world? Do you know about the meteor that exploded over Moscow? Was it part of your ship or something else?
Seth
H3LLO, S3TH? Y34H, 3R1D4N 1S FR13NS W1TH T1K1R14, 4S 4M 1. BUT MY N4M3 1S T3R3Z1 PYROP3. 4ND NO, 1 WOULD NOT BOTH3R G3TT1NG 1NVOLV3D W1TH TROLL ROM4NC3 UNL3SS YOU F33L L1K3 B3COM1NG HOP3L3SSLY CONFUS3D >:]
Hail 2 th3 Tr0lly 1,
G00d 2 kn0w… I think. Then can you please tell us the truth about the Moscow meteor? Was it the work of so-called angel aliens who destroyed a stray meteor before it struck Earth? Or was it an attack on da14 that resulted in a some space debris hurtling toward us?
Thanks for the clarifying this.
Seth
OK, F1RST OF 4LL, MY N4M3 1S T3R3Z1. S3CONDLY, TH3 M3T3OR SOUNS MOR3 L1K3 SOM3ON3 ST4RT3D 4 G4M3 S3SS1ON, WH1CH B4S1C4LLY ST4RT3D TO PL4Y 4 G4M3 TH4T W1LL 3ND TH3 WORLD.
OK I’M JUST GOING TO SAY THIS, TEREZI HERE IS THE MOST “SOCIABLE” OF ALL OF US, AND ERIDAN LOST HIS COMPUTER PROVELIGES FOR A WHILE.
hello lowwbloods. i am Eridan Ampora, an i wwas told about this wwebsite by a, i guess you cloud say, friend. i tried to comment earlier but it did not showw up. i wwas told by my friend that this wwas because of my swwearin so i guess i wwill not swwear as much.
We ain’t low bloods
Well hello Eridan. What sort of motives do you have to call us low bloods?
wwell i am assumin that you all havvre red blood. wwhich means that you all havve a lowwer blood color than me. i am a prince after all.
- move over, fii2h diick! hey im 2ollux Captor, and ii am al2o a troll, and we all have to 2hare thii2 account. 2ome of u2 are ju2t two much cooler (and le22 de2parate) than other2.
To Eridan: What are you prince of?
To Sollux: What do you mean by you all have to share the account? How many others are there?
HI I’M KARKAT VANTAS. I AM THE LEADER OF THIS TRAINWREAK AND ERIDAN IS THE “PRINCE OF TROLLS”. ALTHOUGH HE’S MORE LIKE THE PRINCE OF DOUSCHEBAGS.
kk, ii am gonna an2wer thii2 per2on now, ok? he 2ay2 ok. 2o, we are troll2. ba2iically we were told two come here two talk two human2 and we were giiven an account two 2hare. there are twelve of u2 left and the re2t of our race wa2 de2troyed. 2o that2 about iit.
I am interested in your kind. How were the rest of you destroyed? Why would you come to a site for unknown creatures to talk to humans?
I DON’T EVEN KNOW. WE WERE TOLD TO COME HERE BY SOMEONE WHO WAS TALKING TO US. THE REST OF OUR RACE WAS DESTROYED WHEN WE PLAYED A GAME, WHICH BASICALLY BLEW UP EVERYTHIN ON OUR PLANET EXCEPT FOR OUR PERSONAL HIVES. AND A HIVE IS, FOR ALL INTENTS AND PUPOSES, A HOUSE.
Hmm… Thank you for sharing this information. I like to learn about different types of people/creatures. I hope you find what you want on this site!
THANK YOU
PL34S3 3XCUS3 K4RKL3S. H3 C4N B3 R4TH3R. D1FF1CULT >:]
I was just browsing through LOLpics and found Sollux Captor on there. I know it’s not much of a big deal, but I just wanted to say that. Haha ok bye.
YEAH, APPARENTLY SOMEONE MADE A WEBCOMIC THAT WE’RE ALL FEATURED IN, BUT MOST OF THAT IS MADE UP.
A member of a rival pack was abducted recently. They were attacking me after discovering I was a Hirewolf and the arrival of the ship probably saved my life. They were terrified and went whimpering off and I got to escape. Still, one was abducted and I’m not sure of I should feel sorry for them. I’ll give a description of the ship, can you identify it?
Reddish grey, horseshoe shaped with a wedge front. Large disks on the front patterned with bright red runes, resembling bite marks. Horned, with each horn a white with red tip. Very fast and a huge claw protruding from the curve of the horseshoe.