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You are here: Home / Monstrometer Reports / Anti-Vampire Party Planning – The Monstrometer Report

Anti-Vampire Party Planning – The Monstrometer Report

March 31, 2015 By Seth 23 Comments

VAMPIRE PROOF YOUR PARTY BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

Whether you’re planning to attend a Halloween party later tonight, or planning one yourself, take a minute – actually 1.5 minutes – to watch this before you unlock the door to an unwanted guest of the undead kind! Your survival is guaranteed 99.93%*

*Some restrictions apply. Please read fine print below.

Thanks for keeping on keeping on. More Monstrometer Reports to come…

*Offer not valid for employees, family and friends of Seth on Survival. Void on Friday the 13th, Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day, Black Noodle Day, Cinco de Mayo, Valentines Day, New Years Day, Groundhog Day, Buddhist Festival of the Tooth, Christmas, April Fools Day, Solstice, Equinox, Thanksgiving, Sinter Klaas Day, Ninja Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day, Chanukah…

by Seth Greening - Visit SethOnSurvival.com

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Filed Under: Monstrometer Reports Tagged With: Monstrometer, Monstrometer Report, Solstice

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. The Fading Wolf says

    October 31, 2014 at 6:55 pm

    I also hope my comment went through.
    It’s been a long time.

    Reply
  2. The Fading Wolf says

    October 31, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    If you don’t know me, I’ll give you a hint.
    Scar.
    It’s been a while, Seth.

    Reply
  3. Reaper says

    October 31, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    So, big reveals tonight Seth? #Excited #MonstrometerReport #SOSDoesntSupportHashtags

    Reply
  4. The Reaper says

    October 31, 2014 at 9:42 pm

    Reveals tonight? New Monstrometer? #Excited #MonstremerReport #SOSDoesntSupperHashtags

    Reply
  5. Matthewmega1 says

    October 31, 2014 at 10:01 pm

    I am Back! from the Past of course, I have been traveling back in time changing events, Gosh been a long time 1 year atleast? Eh, glad to be back!

    Reply
  6. Alucard T. says

    November 1, 2014 at 12:00 am

    So you’re the reaper. Well I hope you have figured out that I am a vampire, and therefore technically dead. However as a vamp im also beyond your immediate reach. I’m only bringing this up because I have had problems with reapers in the past, and honestly it is just easiest to leave each other alone if that is agreeable to you.

    Reply
    • Agent TL says

      November 1, 2014 at 12:52 am

      You’ve got a problem with reapers…
      I find that personally insulting as the only other reaper on the site…
      *TL thinks back about the name Alucard*
      No, he couldn’t be…
      *he thinks to himself*

      TL

      Reply
      • Assanjin says

        November 1, 2014 at 10:25 pm

        So the son of the Dragon returns. Pleasure to make your acquaintance Alucard, though you are already dead let’s not give a Reaper a reason to bring dying twice into being. But still, one who is willing to look death straight in the eye and show no fear deserves respect, while one who puts a target on their back and screams come get me jackass is someone who does not have pants long enough to contain their cojones. But still if you wish you may call me Drache, or Assanjin, or Oniyama, or kamiyama I have many names over the years it keeps my wits about me.

        Reply
        • Alucard T. says

          November 3, 2014 at 4:11 pm

          Hello Assanjin, technically im great grandson of the dragon, but once again an easy mistake. Especially since I didn’t put in the II. As for my boldness I would rather not have another fight with a reaper, however if it is to be I shall get it over with as soon as possible.

          Reply
      • Alucard T. says

        November 3, 2014 at 4:05 pm

        Less I have a problem with them, and more a problem with a knife through the heart and a scythe where my head should be. And no I’m not the original alucard I’m technically Alucard T. II but that is understandable.

        Reply
        • Assanjin says

          November 3, 2014 at 5:11 pm

          But still, respect where respect is due so that no one gets carried away. Still having fun every now and then is not a bad thing, everything in moderation returns. So how is your father and your grandfather and your greatgrandfather, though I heard Dracul had been slain by a Crusnik very long ago.

          Reply
  7. Agent TL says

    November 1, 2014 at 10:12 am

    *TL appears worn out and beaten from a whole 24 hours of intense battle with the forces that opposes the reaper interests*

    We are not out of the woods yet…
    Halloween may be over, but…
    Dia de los muertos…
    Is here…
    Beware Mictlantecuhtli…

    *TL collapses*

    TL

    Reply
  8. The Protected says

    November 1, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    Not Mictlantecuhtli! If he is back, then we’ll have skeletons and zombies rising out of graves! Everyone, prepare for war on a divine scale! The Aztec Lord of the dead is returning to his former power!

    Reply
    • Reaper says

      November 1, 2014 at 10:11 pm

      Ah, yes…Mictlantecuhtli… TL, why do you worry about him? He’s just a loose form of mine.

      Reply
      • Assanjin says

        November 1, 2014 at 10:31 pm

        Because this lose form of yours was always an unlikeable douche no offense. He once brought back my Uncle Fafnir from the dead just so he could frame me of being demonic by killing goats and leaving the mutilated bodies at the edge of my forest. IT LITERALLY TOOK ME MONTHS TO ERASE ALL MEMORIES OF THE EVENT AND TO CLESN UP THR BLOODY MESS FROM MY SACRED GROUND. I SERIOUSLY HATE Mictlantecuhtli.

        Reply
      • Agent TL says

        November 1, 2014 at 10:59 pm

        *TL gets up slowly*
        Remember that little gang of his that caused quite a bit of trouble for HQ last year, yeah, it’s a full fledged syndicate now…
        See!
        This is what happens when you choose to take so many forms, you of all people wouldn’t be able to keep track of them, you know how scatterbrained you get…

        TL

        Reply
        • Reaper says

          November 1, 2014 at 11:40 pm

          There’s a reason I am the collective de@th god… and it is beyond your ability to comprehend, fool…

          Reply
          • Assanjin says

            November 2, 2014 at 12:40 am

            I do not mind, hate or fear you Reaper, but you obviously must understand my anger towards that snake, he framed me, tried having me killed, you defiled my ground, I was a defender of mankind yet you framed me to be a demon. Honestly please do try to have a little common sense of who in the name of Ganesh wouldn’t be pissed at that. Fool I am not, for the fool thinks he knows nothing, while I know that compared to the vastness of the ever expanding void, this is no debate on whose the fool or who is the all the wiser.

            Reply
            • Leaf says

              November 2, 2014 at 12:33 pm

              DRACHE, DRACHE, DRACHE, DON’T LEAVE! 😥 :mrgreen:

              Reply
          • Fenrir Iceborn says

            November 4, 2014 at 12:00 am

            So if you’re him, is my shipment of Camazotz ready? Cause I kinda want them soon.

            Reply
  9. Kurogane says

    November 19, 2014 at 4:24 am

    Did you know vampires have vagina fangs? I found out the hard way because of hades and his demon blood martini’s. But if you the 3rd earth qi pressure point on the neck those fangs relax and withdraw into the vampire. Also I fucked a vampire! :mrgreen:

    Reply
  10. Kurogane says

    November 19, 2014 at 4:34 am

    Never try fusing alchemy,demon conjuring,ancient demon magic,necromancy,divination,scrying,chaos magic void magic and death magic to create an all powerful form of magic! 👿
    It doesn’t work and it has super weird side-effects. Doing it turned me into a dracodemreaperwerepire immortal.

    Reply
  11. AP says

    November 21, 2014 at 11:52 am

    But vampires are the best part of a party. 😐

    Reply

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