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Zombie Outbreak in Texas!!!

Hail Survivors!

I recently received a very grave -no pun intended- warning from Survivor Miles who I believe may be located in or near Texas. Survivor Miles recently survived a vicious zombie attack, armed with only his wits and hedge clippers. His parents unfortunately were not so lucky.

Read more here: Zombie Attack!!!


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Anti-Vampire Party Planning - The Monstrometer Report


Whether you’re planning to attend a Halloween party later tonight, or planning one yourself, take a minute – actually 1.5 minutes – to watch this before you unlock the door to an unwanted guest of the undead kind! Your survival is guaranteed 99.93%*

*Some restrictions apply. Please read fine print below.

Thanks for keeping on keeping on. More Monstrometer Reports to come…

*Offer not valid for employees, family and friends of Seth on Survival. Void on Friday the 13th, Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day, Black Noodle Day, Cinco de Mayo, Valentines Day, New Years Day, Groundhog Day, Buddhist Festival of the Tooth, Christmas, April Fools Day, Solstice, Equinox, Thanksgiving, Sinter Klaas Day, Ninja Day, Talk Like A Pirate Day, Chanukah…

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23 comments to Anti-Vampire Party Planning – The Monstrometer Report

  • The Fading Wolf

    I also hope my comment went through.
    It’s been a long time.

  • The Fading Wolf

    If you don’t know me, I’ll give you a hint.
    It’s been a while, Seth.

  • So, big reveals tonight Seth? #Excited #MonstrometerReport #SOSDoesntSupportHashtags

  • Reveals tonight? New Monstrometer? #Excited #MonstremerReport #SOSDoesntSupperHashtags

  • I am Back! from the Past of course, I have been traveling back in time changing events, Gosh been a long time 1 year atleast? Eh, glad to be back!

  • Alucard T.

    So you’re the reaper. Well I hope you have figured out that I am a vampire, and therefore technically dead. However as a vamp im also beyond your immediate reach. I’m only bringing this up because I have had problems with reapers in the past, and honestly it is just easiest to leave each other alone if that is agreeable to you.

    • Agent TL

      You’ve got a problem with reapers…
      I find that personally insulting as the only other reaper on the site…
      *TL thinks back about the name Alucard*
      No, he couldn’t be…
      *he thinks to himself*


      • Assanjin

        So the son of the Dragon returns. Pleasure to make your acquaintance Alucard, though you are already dead let’s not give a Reaper a reason to bring dying twice into being. But still, one who is willing to look death straight in the eye and show no fear deserves respect, while one who puts a target on their back and screams come get me jackass is someone who does not have pants long enough to contain their cojones. But still if you wish you may call me Drache, or Assanjin, or Oniyama, or kamiyama I have many names over the years it keeps my wits about me.

        • Alucard T.

          Hello Assanjin, technically im great grandson of the dragon, but once again an easy mistake. Especially since I didn’t put in the II. As for my boldness I would rather not have another fight with a reaper, however if it is to be I shall get it over with as soon as possible.

      • Alucard T.

        Less I have a problem with them, and more a problem with a knife through the heart and a scythe where my head should be. And no I’m not the original alucard I’m technically Alucard T. II but that is understandable.

        • Assanjin

          But still, respect where respect is due so that no one gets carried away. Still having fun every now and then is not a bad thing, everything in moderation returns. So how is your father and your grandfather and your greatgrandfather, though I heard Dracul had been slain by a Crusnik very long ago.

  • Agent TL

    *TL appears worn out and beaten from a whole 24 hours of intense battle with the forces that opposes the reaper interests*

    We are not out of the woods yet…
    Halloween may be over, but…
    Dia de los muertos…
    Is here…
    Beware Mictlantecuhtli…

    *TL collapses*


  • The Protected

    Not Mictlantecuhtli! If he is back, then we’ll have skeletons and zombies rising out of graves! Everyone, prepare for war on a divine scale! The Aztec Lord of the dead is returning to his former power!

    • Ah, yes…Mictlantecuhtli… TL, why do you worry about him? He’s just a loose form of mine.

      • Assanjin

        Because this lose form of yours was always an unlikeable douche no offense. He once brought back my Uncle Fafnir from the dead just so he could frame me of being demonic by killing goats and leaving the mutilated bodies at the edge of my forest. IT LITERALLY TOOK ME MONTHS TO ERASE ALL MEMORIES OF THE EVENT AND TO CLESN UP THR BLOODY MESS FROM MY SACRED GROUND. I SERIOUSLY HATE Mictlantecuhtli.

      • Agent TL

        *TL gets up slowly*
        Remember that little gang of his that caused quite a bit of trouble for HQ last year, yeah, it’s a full fledged syndicate now…
        This is what happens when you choose to take so many forms, you of all people wouldn’t be able to keep track of them, you know how scatterbrained you get…


        • There’s a reason I am the collective de@th god… and it is beyond your ability to comprehend, fool…

          • Assanjin

            I do not mind, hate or fear you Reaper, but you obviously must understand my anger towards that snake, he framed me, tried having me killed, you defiled my ground, I was a defender of mankind yet you framed me to be a demon. Honestly please do try to have a little common sense of who in the name of Ganesh wouldn’t be pissed at that. Fool I am not, for the fool thinks he knows nothing, while I know that compared to the vastness of the ever expanding void, this is no debate on whose the fool or who is the all the wiser.

          • Fenrir Iceborn

            So if you’re him, is my shipment of Camazotz ready? Cause I kinda want them soon.

  • Kurogane

    Did you know vampires have vagina fangs? I found out the hard way because of hades and his demon blood martini’s. But if you the 3rd earth qi pressure point on the neck those fangs relax and withdraw into the vampire. Also I fucked a vampire! :mrgreen:

  • Kurogane

    Never try fusing alchemy,demon conjuring,ancient demon magic,necromancy,divination,scrying,chaos magic void magic and death magic to create an all powerful form of magic! 👿
    It doesn’t work and it has super weird side-effects. Doing it turned me into a dracodemreaperwerepire immortal.

  • AP

    But vampires are the best part of a party. 😐

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