Sweet sweater armour tips from real Yule Cat survivor Shawn
SOS on Seasonal Survival, a reminder from Yule Cat survivor Shawn here, prepare to face the next holiday horror, that feline demon, the dread Icelandic Yule Cat.
Luckily old Jólakötturinn is just the third toughest seasonal spirit you will need to fight after Krampus and […]
Are you ready to face Krampus? The most feared Christmas cryptid comes armed with birch whips and bathtubs to drag you down the nearest hellevator shaft tonight. So unless you’ve confirmed your name on the official not-naughty list, read on.
An SOS red and green alert.
Krampus comes tonight!
Mark it on […]
MALLOCALYPSE BFZ SURVIVAL TIPS
Batten the hatches Survivors, it’s Black Friday. Are you ready for the Mallies?
If not, it’s not too late… yet. But it will be soon so don’t delay. Review these seasonal BFZ survival tips today! Your Black Friday survival is virtually guaranteed, 99.98%*.
Black Friday Zombies
Know The Mally
Often referred to as a BFZ […]
Cannibal critics say celebrity salami is grisly and gross!
Cannibal meat company Bitelabs defends its line celebrity sausages made from celebs like Kanye West and Jennifer Lawrence as a form of ethical meat to be celebrated and savoured by all, but critics continue to call it a faux food replacement product, and much less tasty than the stars themselves.
Cannibals selling meat […]
Canadian City Fears Friday the 13 As Unlucky Number Returns
Vancouver city residents in fear today as a planned reversal of Friday the 13 preparedness planning brings back unlucky numbers including the number 13 to all city buildings — just in time for Friday the 13.
“We’re just putting a normal mathematical sequence back into building design,” says […]
Prepare for the Demons of Algol Guided by Demon Star
Add this now to your supernatural safety plan, prepare for the Demons of Algol out in full force tonight, guided by the strange pulsing light of their star.
Learn all about the Algol
But Seth, you say, for survival sake it’s too late to add […]
Good Disguise Your First line of Supernatural Self Defense on Halloween
I said it a million times and I’ll say it again this year —->> on Halloween a good disguise is not just your ticket to a holy haul of candy, it’s your first line of supernatural self-defence on this most supernatural of nights.
Lessons from London Tower for your Halloween kit
Halloween heads up from UK survivor this week, Agent RB, your All Hallows plan must go far beyond – and far below! – that effective weather-proof disguise and colossal candy collection contraption!
Indeed, if your checklist doesn’t include a detailed inspection of your first line diabolical defences, no amount of zombie makeup or stale chocolate […]
Air force approves zombie pilots for flight using controversial zombie cure
Meet the military force expanding its ranks using a controversial zombie treatment technology known as trans-cranial direct current stimulation (tDCS) and the groaners on both sides.
Even if you’re not a zombie (yet!) you’ve probably heard about this controversial “zombie cure.”
Zombie zappers Experiments with tDCS
Maybe you’ve even used a zombie zapper […]
Mineral springs discovered on Mars but should you book your Martian Spa Holiday today?
With the discovery of underground water flowing on Mars, the Internet is awash with reports of all the ways it will provide what you need for your future on the red planet.
But as you consider the epic announcements, SOS urges caution with one claim in […]