DEALING WITH AN ALIEN or “VISITOR”
Aliens object to being called aliens, preferring the term, “visitor,” so never say, “Hey Alien please don’t incubate those eggs inside my chest cavity,” say “Hey visitor, I’m using that.”
Aliens or visitors are a diverse bunch. Consider: there are 9 trillion planets in our universe with an unknown number of species on each planet. So you’ll want to memorize the following 9 trillion rules for dealing with them…
Kidding! The point is there are no hard and fast rules for dealing with them, only guidelines and anecdotal reports that need to be updated all the time:
Anecdotal Report #1: Aliens or visitors love cat food and M & Ms. Mix the two together and carry them on you at all times. True or False?
Anecdotal Report #2: Aliens or visitors hate water. Arm yourself with an automatic water gun with lots of rounds, a wheelbarrow full of water balloons or just a good garden hose and watch them turn around. Confirm or correct?
Anecdotal Report #3: Aliens or visitors seek the warmth of your chest cavity to incubate their babies. You can fool them with a hyper-cooling ice vest like the kind worn by Olympic athletes in training. Please confirm or correct.
Anecdotal Report #4: When dealing with one hostile alien being who possibly wants to lay eggs in your warm chest cavity or hug your face with its tentacles, try the “Have You Met My Little Friend?” strategy. There are many complicated variations of this strategy but in short it involves introducing one hostile alien to another and hoping they will provoke a fight with each other, thus forgetting about you.
** UPDATE **
Hey Aliens, Friends of Aliens and people who are afraid of Aliens, there is new proof of alien life on Earth. Check out the photographic evidence of Aliens among us.
** UPDATE #2 **
And yet more proof of alien life on earth. You will want to wash your appendages after reading this article.
** UPDATE #3 **
An amateur astronomer has discovered an image of what appears to be a structure on the surface of Mars. Is this evidence of life on Mars? Alien visitors to Mars? Has a secret colonization of Mars by Earth begun? No one knows for sure what the purpose of this structure may be or who built it or how long it has been there.
To see a video of it click/tap here http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=2418
** UPDATE #4 **
Delaware’s New Martian Ambassador
Delaware officially became the first Earth jurisdiction to open diplomatic relations with Mars. For more details visit this link: http://sethonsurvival.com/?p=3095